We think this happens quite a bit.All you have to do is go to a club or house party.See spouses where one is having a blast the other just sits there like a bump on a log. They may claim they are not feeling unnoticed. They have the feeling if both do not get their no one does. There are also those who are just quiet. So many wish to throw them into the wallflower section. Just shy quiet people who do not venture into the limelight while thier spouse has happy feet. Network with those that are around you.There is absolutely no sense in making yourself feel sorry with the situation you found yoursef involved with .Learn to communicate. You don't have to be the center , cricle the center area having fun. Women for the most part are a whole lot more fun then the males. They will be the center of attention. Celebrate this action.Learn to be more involved. If interaction and communicating with groups of people has become a problem. I know a way to get over that obstacle.Give a shout or email .It will take a little time for you to get over it,well worth the time to you.

T&A do you fart alot in public?

T&A, I was just perusing your profile quickly. I didn't read it entirely I'll be honest...but I did read the paragraph that speaks about what angers you both. Just a piece of advice: Swingers generally do not like negative profiles. Unless you are absolutely trying to make a point like that I would take the negative aspect out. People just do not even take the possibility of getting involved in anything negative. Anyways, I just noticed that while perusing your profile. Take care, Shell

T&A, my first thought when I read your most recent post was that these women and couples may just be looking for another women, that seems to be all the rage lately.

G.

First of all thank you gentlemen for indulging me in posting in your forum. T&A I read your latest post. I'll be honest, some geographical areas are different from others; take here for instance. San Antonio and Austin are polar opposites in their swinging personalities. San Antonio swingers are very, very friendly, down to earth type personalities. Very down home Texans. This is why 90% of our time is usually spent in SA. Austin on the other hand has more HWP people. I'll be straight, the swinging pool in Atown is to us better looking physically than in SA. HOWEVER they are also much more cliquish in our experience. In Atown you don't just walk up to people and feel welcomed like you do in SA. Its not wrong, just different. So you may just need to change your clubs. Party at a different location is what I suggest. And remember to SMILE. People despise drama and once they see your wife looking frustrated they don't know whats going on so they will think drama. And they will stay away. So I would suggest changing your club experience if you can, try a house party or two and just be friendly. You will do great. Like Ms. Simbaxxx always says (and this has helped me IMMENSELY (sp) might I add), go FIRST to have fun with your wife. Once others see you having fun together, laughing and smiling, they will be attracted to you.

Without ever meeting you it is nearly impossible to come to any conclusion that might be helpful. The obvious nice ones have already been stated but you replied that you both are neither shy nor inexperienced so where does that leave you? I'll state a few that are not so nice... before you reply back with a firestorm of insults let me state that I am in no way attempting to insult you, so keep that in mind. It takes a very secure person to look in the mirror and see who they really are and not the person they imagine themselves to be. 1. Hygiene is very important. Are you up to par on that? 2. Are you intoxicated? 3. Are you doing the party favor thing in the wrong social group? 4. Are you leering during introductions? 5. Is your dress appropriate? i.e. wearing overalls for a black tie event? 6. How would you rate your social skills? Do you have many friends or are you guys more the loner types? 7. Anything change appearance wise from when you first started? i.e. weight, thinning hair, skin conditions etc? 8. Could word have gotten around your social group about you that would be viewed negatively? paroled felon? crack addict? child molester? 9. Do you belittle your wife around other people? This is a major turn off for us. Well that's what I'll put down for now. Those that I missed will likely be picked up on by others. Best of luck to you both.

TandA don't allow others to ignore you. Always interject your opinion in whatever topic "they" happen to be talking about with your wife. Make it a game. Don't allow it.

As far as things changing over the past year. I doubt that everyone else on the planet has changed....most likely it's only your perception that has changed. Don't let it bug you and make a fun game of it.

T&A I must agree with the others...Jay is a notorious flirt and is never ignored...nor would I allow it to happen. I tend to be the shy one of our couple so no I cannot say that. I'm assuming y'all are new to the lifestyle. Well you must understand etiquette and decorum. See, this is a completely female driven hobby. And I'm not just talking bi fems either. Its kind of like the mafia lmao...the wives usually talk first, pay each other respect, if it is 2 straight couples THEN you go forward with flirting with the other husband. But even with straights, the wives pay each other respect. Its just a woman thing. Now if you are shy this is an issue in itself. I know with me, I am more of an old fashioned girl in the fact that I like the man to take the initiative to make the first move. If he is very shy or standoffish I interpret that to mean he is not attracted to me or there is no chemistry there...so to avoid wasting his time and mine I'll back off and usually go fishing lmao. So this very well may be your problem. Just be more openly flirtatious. Communicate what you are feeling with your wife and honestly let her know that if the couple zeroes in on her alone you feel left out (which is completely understandable might I add) and as your wife she should let couples know that this is just not okay. But again, if your wife is bisexual its pretty standard for the bi ladies to flirt and even play before the hubbies get involved usually. Good luck to you!

First off, I'm trying not to post a lot in the men's section, but this was intriguing.

Dan's never ignored, and if we're not talking or flirting w/ other people, then we're talking and flirting with each other. Shy and quiet is ok, but maybe there is some sort of vibe you're giving off? I don't know. I do think you should let your wife know how you feel without sounding whiny. She might have suggestions for you, and listen with an open mind, since none of us can really say since we don't know you.

Good luck. Find someone to talk to yourself, if that happens again.

Gina

dude,

are you shy or something? What kind of club? I have never experienced that. And honestly if your wife allows that to happen you have problems.

My wife wouldn't allow me to be ignored... for that matter i would allow me to be ignored.