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asking a man if he is bi : Swingers Discussion 221466
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TOPIC: asking a man if he is bi
Created by: funlyfriend
Original Starting post for this thread:
when I read profiles and the guy is listed as straight, but in the profile it states will try anything once. Should he be insulted when I ask if he would try bi. when I do ask sometimes a get a simple no, or no thank you. sometimes I get yes, but not with her in the room, or yes I only list str8. But some guys who do have "will try anything once" or words to that affect get down right rude, with responses like I'm not a fag, or what would makes you think I would try bi and much worse things.
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That's an individualized definition. What constitutes being "bi" is different for everyone.

Toledo OH
 
 
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Possibly a dumb question (because I, female, have only been I the LS for two years): what exactly is considered "Bi"?? Oral play? Touching other men? Anal sex? All of the above? Or just one/two of the above?

Cocoa FL
 
 
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let face the facts.most men are bias or prejudice against other men.men want some strange now and then,so we will put up with a man in the deal.but we will not let a man bring his man hood in to change what we have already claimed as ours,nor will we even consider anything that will change what we think of ourselves as a man among men.society has said what a man is,and if found out you are not the man scoiety has set for you.or most men just don't want to admit it.or the real possiblty is I don't have a clue as to what I'am saying.......lol...........BS

Kingston TN
 
 
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Personally, we would take the statement "willing to try anything once" as being a subtle indicator that he is bi. We know a bi couple who says that if the female asks if a guy if he is bi she is much more likely to get an honest response versus the male asking. Nothing scientific, but maybe that is because guys prefer to present themselves as masculine to other guys.

Ottawa IL
 
 
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BS,

Thank you for those kind words. I am a words person, meaning words can boost me up or tear me down faster than anything else someone can do to me. Hubby will agree entirely.

I know when I go on the forum and ask a question or search for a question that was already asked, I want to find out if someone else had a similar experience or could shed some light on what to do. Many times the folks on this forum have been a great help to me as we were starting this adventure. Even yesterday, I had a really weird thing come up and needed to get some idea of what to do. Several on the forum had the exact same experience, I mean exactly and I was able to take advantage of their knowledge and even plagiarize their answers to solve my situation.

I would love to type in all caps to certain posters what I am thinking at the moment but I refrain. I know that I can block people or if deemed bad enough report them, but I don't. I believe I must take responsibility for what I write, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I just try not to write too much bad and ugly. With that said, I agree that if someone is continually attacking you on the forums standing up for yourself is necessary. I have done it and will continue to do it.

Hopefully the OP will understand that while many desire to share advice in response to his question, things that others do not know about rears its ugly head. (seriously no puns intended there). While some of the posts in response to his question do not appear related, it is. It was a visual example of how quickly others can respond negatively about the MALE BI issue, proving that he is in fact, in a difficult situation because of his desire to find others based on the wording of their profile when it goes against their stated sexual preference.

Have a great day everyone! Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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SOPHIA; I tip my hat to you,a lady with class.I found out a while back their are people on here with no class,or have their head up their asses.I havn't block anybody,I just ingore their post.thats why nobody can harass me.if some body is bi who gives a flying fuck if you are not playing with them..and if they are not bi with you then whats the problem....a poster with a brain...BS

Kingston TN
 
 
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Funlyfriend,

I am sorry your question has garnered responses that really have nothing to do with your question.

However, as you can see, the issue of BI in regards to men is a very difficult topic to discuss without anger, accusations, and other things not really necessary in this discussion. For a woman, BI is more acceptable and readily desired by men and women. It is a sexual turn on for many when a woman is BI and a fear in the greatest form for many men to even consider as it relates to their idea of masculinity.

I don't know how to answer your question other than to start off with "I hope I don't offend, but I am wondering...."

But as you can see, there is always a potential for someone to respond angrily to your question. You can't predict someone's response and you aren't responsible for it either. If you are comfortable with your BI choice you are a head of those who have to hide it from others and more importantly themselves.

Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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SB,

I came to that conclusion too! Darn it!

Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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if he or she is not bi with you what different does it make any way..?????.....BS

Kingston TN
 
 
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The notes section has been a great tool.

Spring TX
 
 
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TOPIC: asking a man if he is bi