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Why is it that so many men in the LS have issues performing : Swingers Discussion 1944941081
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsMen TalkWhy is it that so many men in the LS have issues performing
TOPIC: Why is it that so many men in the LS have issues performing
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LOL RDY.....AGREEDED Not Pee lol

Nibbles, hugs and kisses Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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"I also think it's funny how pissed some women can get instead of salvaging a good time. I used to have hours and hours of foreplay when I was younger, without ever having sex. Two or three dates like that, THEN have sex and it was always better because of the buildup. Noone ever does that anymore. Too much emphasis on the dick working. "

Although I think getting "pissed" is completely wrong as no one should be made to feel bad I have to comment on the last part of your statement. "Two or three dates like that, THEN have sex and it was always better because of the buildup. Noone ever does that anymore. Too much emphasis on the dick working. "

In our case we aren't "dating" anyone, we aren't here for strictly foreplay but for sex. As I stated in a different forum(same topic) everyone has an issue at some time or another and I don't think an occasional issue is a big deal BUT I am also not wasting our playtime with anyone who thinks I should be satisfied more than once with just foreplay.....I don't care how fabulous he thinks his hands and mouth are. If the shoe was on the other foot and the woman couldn't or wouldn't ( for emotional,mental /health issues or whatever) perform while her husband was banging your wife how many times are you as a couple going to meet with them? Are you going to be satisfied with her just wanting to make out and maybe some manual stimulation and go home and think to yourself "WOW what an awesome time I had , I can't wait to see them again!" If you and your spouse are here for soft swap than that can work just fine but for those of us here for full swap that just isn't going to cut it . On another note in reference to RDY's comment......" I heard a woman encouraging a guy once, saying things like, " you can do it; give it to me baby, i know you can." I thought to myself, " Oh boy, THIS aint gonna work out." and it didn't."...............heads up men that probably isn't going to work on women either. Not much I find as distracting as "Come on baby, you can do it, Squirt for ME RIGHT NOW ' Sex talk can be fun but it can also be FUNNY . Don't order me to Cum or Squirt....MAKE ME !

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I've found that I actually drink very little when I'm out at a club or far less than I do when simply going out to a bar. While I know that the vanilla world often uses drinking at a bar as a preamble to anonymous, sloppy, and unfulfilling sex for some reason I have the likely misconception that in the lifestyle there would be less impetus to inebriate.

Admittedly I've seen a fair bit of drinking and on at least once occasion met a young woman at a club who was really too drunk for me to, in good conscience, have sex with her.

We've only been active for a few months. I know I haven't had time for a whole lot of activities so my dataset is relatively small. Does it seem more common, overall, that lifestylers drink as a social icebreaker to drink to get their inhibitions low enough to play?

Beaumont CA
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I also wanted to say, I think a huge part of it is the women who don't know how to react when it doesn't work. There is things you can do and things you shouldn't.

I also think it's funny how pissed some women can get instead of salvaging a good time. I used to have hours and hours of foreplay when I was younger, without ever having sex. Two or three dates like that, THEN have sex and it was always better because of the buildup. Noone ever does that anymore. Too much emphasis on the dick working.

Grand Blanc MI
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I agree with the flirtation stage being important. Every person is different. I am one of those guys who talks like I am a porn star, and when I am comfortable, I can back that up, but when I am with someone I hardly know, a lot of times it just won't work when it's game time. When I was single, I wasn't one of those fuck every girl I can on the first date kind of guys. I was always more into getting to know someone, taking it slow, and enjoying the beginning stages, so swinging is a huge change that I still have to get used to.

I also think though, that too much teasing and foreplay is usually the cause. just as I can only do so many pushups, the same goes for the little guy. Too many up and downs and he is out. I've noticed, the times I have had issues, is when you are teasing each other all night, touching, getting into it, then stopping to check if everyone is okay, or whatever, this up and down all night just kills it.

Valovers said it perfectly! Best advice I have seen on here in a while.

Grand Blanc MI
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Evil confusing picture management. Thanks for the answer.

Beaumont CA
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Public Galleries are the only ones available for Forum use as far as I can tell.

You appear to have one public pic, one private pic(locked), and two person pics(locked) when I view your galleries.

Colleyville TX
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Anecdotally, my first time playing with more than a single partner was a playmate whose boyfriend wanted to watch although she ended up taking both of us at once. There was definitely some foreplay, stripping oral play and fondling before we all moved onto a bed and I had no trouble keeping my end up.

A few months later at a club my partner was having her birthday lesbian sex on another level and I slipped away with a very hot young woman. She was already naked having just been unsatisfied by two other men and we jumped to the sex pretty quickly. While it wasn't a "failure to launch" I didn't stay nearly as hard, nearly as long as I did when there had been some notable foreplay.

With my partner in a large "see and be seen" room despite people openly enjoying the show and occasional women reaching over to fondle one or both of us I was hard and working her for probably an hour and a half straight and this was after extended oral foreplay.

During a booty call where there was a man hiding in a closet watching (that I wasn't supposed to know about) we jumped right to sex with very little foreplay and I noticed the same "not as hard as long" effect. (Although this was also after having a nigh on obscene - at least 7 times a day with a few different women - sex for 3 days straight)

Another club trip with my partner and another woman watching them pleasuring each other I stayed very hard for a very long time.

Long and drawn out but a pattern definitely emerges where foreplay (I'm counting the visual stimulus of those two hot women doing very hot things to each other as foreplay) makes a huge (pun intended) difference in my penile performance.

I wouldn't also discount performance anxiety in some men but for myself I've seen a consistent difference with foreplay as the prime factor.

(Completely tangential but why is only one of the pictures available for attaching? I could've sworn we have two in the "G-rated" section but I only see one)

Beaumont CA
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If the guy is blaming you for his problem, he is an asshole and be glad he couldn't get it up.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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Intimidating: You are very sexy, and have an air of quiet self confidence that makes many men (myself included from time to time) think "this hotties got her shit together. I am definitely going to need my A game to compete" which puts that thought in our head about performance.

Being able to hear the Mr can also lead to some of that mental tug of war about inadequacy, so you are right about that too.

Check your FB for a message.

-M

Colleyville TX
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TOPIC: Why is it that so many men in the LS have issues performing