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FORUMS › General Discussions › Men Talk › Why are so many men afraid to admit they're bi
TOPIC: Why_are_so_many_men_afraid_to_admit_they're_bi
Created by: debnmiike4two
Original Starting post for this thread:
Here's a question. Many couples have read our profile. Most of the responses come back from "straight" men. (at least that is what it says on their profile) After contact the men proclaim to be bi or bi-curious.

Why is it the lifestyle says okay to bi women but bi or bi curious men seem to have to hide in the shadows???

We are both bi and would love to find a truly bi couple like us.

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Welcome to the forums Welltryitonce...have fun with this one!

Centennial CO
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Why is it that females that are bi or lesbian are basically accepted but men who are bi or gay are ridiculed? I have known lesbians that ridicule gay men. WTF? It makes no sense what so ever.

Milan PA
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Nothing new or relevant to add to this thread other than too many labels, classifications and check box theories behind the whole BI issue ect. ect. ect.

I have my own theory, it may/may not run concurrent to what currant thought is and that is why I keep it to myself. Really not worth discussing at length over and yet my fingers are still typing...LOL!

Centennial CO
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this is really a fascinating thread. i think sexuality is a continuum. i do not think the soul has a gender. rather, there are masculine and feminine energies we all possess to some degree or another. and to a degree which does not necessarily correlate precisely to the bodies we were born with.

i could have probably picked bi for my profile, since i believe this continuum makes us all naturally bi to some degree. but since i haven't had the chance to play that way, i put straight. plus the awful bi prejudices i've seen on here are really sad. that said, should i experience my first bi encounter, i might change my profile. there should really be a bi continuum, like 1 to 100, where 1 would be apparently totally straight and 100 totally gay, and 50 totally bi.

it is very interesting to hear this gene theory expressed in its political context. rings true for me. i always wondered, till now, why so many gay activists clinged to the "you are born gay", and the "gay gene" theory. and equally wondered, why it seemed so many christian moralists are so quick to point out "it is a choice", and "there is no gay gene".

so yes, i really see this "gay gene" being used as a political maneuvering to legitimize the rights of gay people. if thats what it takes for gays to get equal rights, so be it. but i am a bit disheartened, because i believe in sexuality and life in general, nurture takes far greater role than nature.

it takes away from the process of growth, teaching, free will, choice, and personal responsibility, to declare we are nothing more than the sum parts of our genes, so i don't go with that theory.

West Delray Beach FL
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This discussion got off track a long way back. I agree with the original question. The only answer I have is that people are narrow minded. They think that just because you are bi, that you want them.

We also get a lot of e-mail from closet (BI) couples and single males. When we ask them why they do not list it as such, the answer from all is that they get more responses from couples when they say he is straight.

So to all you people that only play with straight men only, think of all the couples and single men that you are playing. I would be willing to bet that there are a few of them that are actually bi and does not say anything to you for fear of your reaction. I think you would be supprised on how many of them there are.

Enjoy your play time with your (straight) men......

Virginia Beach VA
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don't nuke it out just enjoy the pleasure

Bridgewater NJ
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Well stated D+J. Homosexuality/bisexuality is far too complex to haul out for vindication or condemnation based on a gene or the lack of one.

Any predisposition to engage in an argument over that as a legitimizer of gay rights I would suspect is actually buying into the prejudice.

Brookhaven MS
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The ultimate problems with labels and with the arguments here is that there is no one way, there is variety. Some alcoholics can never drink again without over-indulging. Thus the AA methodology. Other alcoholics can learn to drink within norms. Alcoholism is not a single labeled point, it is a variety of behaviors. No one way works for all.

In the same way gay is not the label, is rarely 100% desire for the opposite sex. There are those with 99% desire, 98%, 90%, and so on. Same with lesbians. Labels attempt to fit within one word a wide range of behavior. Homosexuality is not 100% genetic. What research is trying to tease out is how much is genetic and how that genetic component is expressed.

Bisexuality is another label. The behavior is perhaps wider than either homosexuality and heterosexuality. This is what Kinsey addressed in his research. All sexuality is a range of behavior from opposite sex to same sex and everything in between. Where each of us lie on that continuum is the fascinating part.

Enosburg Falls VT
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I didn't call you prissy, Lick. The only place I used the word was as a trait some people associate with a gay male -- and some people use that trait to say "Oh yeah he is gay for sure!" It happens somewhere every moment.

I don't think there is a real conflict in what we are saying about everyone's right to be who they are.

You just seem to be buying into the concept that gay is genetic so it should be OK with everyone.

I am saying there is no real evidence that being gay is genetic and everyone should be respected for their choices anyway.

The whole genetic link is most important to those who are keen on rights and wish to appease the materialistic majority who will condemn gays for choosing their orientation, but might give them a pass if they had no choice. I say that materialistic conservative majority is using fuck-head thinking and there is no reason to accept their mental construct of guilt at all.

Brookhaven MS
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i think ur probably right ego gets in the way and societies idea of right and wrong pleasure in the middle and desire drives u to gain pleasure when u are able to express urself and allow ego to be put aside then u have real pleasure...

very sexy pic

Bridgewater NJ
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TOPIC: Why are so many men afraid to admit theyre bi
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