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SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY : Swingers Discussion 1807651041
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TOPIC: SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
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It never hurts to go warm things up ahead of time with your wife.

If you know play is imminent and your in a club, head to a private room/bathroom with your mrs for a 5 minute bj, or if your doing a date with another couple, start off play with your wife, in separate rooms if need be.

Once I get that first erection of the night, the following ones are easier to achieve for me.

Abstaining from any sex a couple days prior though difficult, can also be a big help.

-M

Colleyville TX
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(1434 posts)
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I hear your pain guys, Im the same way,meet a couple take a lil blue pill, start to play an nothing,cant get a rise out of it at all,it is very embarrassing for sure, then go home with wife and its as hard as a rock go figure,I think it has to do with the fact that the first time it happens from that time on its in our head an I dont mean the lil head lol, maybe its the fact of the excitement or just being with someone new, but I know what were all going through,an it sure is an embarrasment especially when all your life you were very sexually active with no problems,we sure hope the ladies understand that it is really out of our controll,we want play an enjoy what a new lady has to offer but no matter how hard we try it dont want to work,if anyone has any ideas throw them out there Im sure were all interested.

Eagle Pass TX
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Its happened to me at 30.

It's mental for me, and it sounds like its mental for you, so no amount of ED stuff is gonna fix it.

You have to figure out whats making you uneasy, or distracting you and let it go.

For me, extended foreplay helps. After 20 minutes of making out/groping, you'll find yourself feeling like a teenager pretty easily.

The other possibility is a lack of sexual spark between you and whoever you are trying to play with.

Passive women give me the most trouble with this, as the little voice inside my head starts to say, "maybe shes not into me" "Maybe shes just doing this for her man" even if I know for a fact she IS interested. Again, the extended foreplay can help here. It seems even the most demure lady can only take so much before shes goes mad with lust.

And of course unsexy conversation in group rooms, or even worse, the moaning competitions that can spontaneously erupt can prove distracting.

If you are looking to medicate for the problem, an anti anxiety drug that doesn't harm the libido might work, and I have heard some people suggest weed for that very thing, but I am personally unable to check that fact.

Reevaluate the whos wheres and whys, and see if that helps.

-M

Colleyville TX
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Hey it happens, especially to guys in their 50's. We are not as young as springtime any longer.

The best thing you can do is relax and forget about it.

Maybe start with same room stuff or soft swap until you can relax.

Middletown DE
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It might be an embarrassing to admit to have an sexual performance anxiety but it happens very often. There is no problem when being with wife as getting hard comes after some foreplaysbetween two of us however when playing with another couple it is very dificult to achieve even that other women try her best. Does anyone experience such thing as well? Any ideas or tips how to prevent this to happen? It is realy embarrassing

Big but soft Guy

Litchfield CT
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(42 posts)
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TOPIC: SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY