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SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY : Swingers Discussion 1807651011
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsMen TalkSEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
TOPIC: SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
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I've had this happen too. In every case it was at a house party. It has never happened to me when we are entertaining just one couple at our home. I conclude that I feel much more relaxed and feel less pressure when at home. Not sure why. It may have to do with the certainty that I will get to play with a lady I find attractive when we have just one couple coming over. At a party, there is always uncertainty whether there will be someone I want to play with at all, and if there is, whether I will get the chance. While parties are a great opportunity to meet new couples, and sometimes result in a great time, 1-on-1 get-togethers with a couple we already know and like work better for us. But you have to meet them first!

We once went to a club with a group of friends. Six couples went to the group room to play. Not one of the 6 men (including me) could get an erection! Finally someone noticed that it was really hot in that room and someone had closed the overhead vents for the A/C and opened them. But by then it was too late. It was a royal cluster no-fuck! :-)

Jim

South Riding VA
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Rdy, as for cock rings, there is one with a small bullet vibe attached, stretchy cock ring, and we both really get off with it. Ones we've found are under $20

G.

San Antonio TX
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Welcome to the forum curiouscouplem5

My experience hasn't so much been performance anxiety but distraction. For example, if I am hosting a party, sometimes I am too focused on making sure everyone is having a good time and respecting each other as well as typical "host" duties. What works for me most of the time is to try and stay "in the moment". Block out everything and everyone else and as rdy mentioned, focus on one touch, one sensation.

It also helps to have a "go to" fantasy, that one mental image that gets the juices flowing everytime (trust me, every guy has one!). Ask your husband about his and if things are starting to flag, remind him of it, maybe even whisper it to him.

Good luck and have fun!

Youngstown OH
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So...I've read through everyone's advice.... my hubby has this problem too, and he feels like it is a deal-breaker for us in the LS. From all the advice given - what has actually worked? I would like to hear from guys who have actually had performance anxiety and what helped them get over it. Thanks!

Greensboro NC
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Thanks rdy2. Will have to say some of the best advice I think we have heard. Others don't get me wrong on yours but this may be the advice that may work.

N Wilkesboro NC
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Have gotten on and tried it. Worked great with wife kept it hard even after I was done! LOL But if you cannot acheive a complete ereaction it does not work, atleast for me it didn't. Tried it last weekend, wife and I had a fmf and it didn't help.

N Wilkesboro NC
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OK guys, HELP!!!! This is happening to me and for some reason it is about to get the best of me. Got with another couple last night she and I (the other lady) even went to another room. What is the cure for this? Even if it is mental how do you over come all of this crap running thru a mans head. You may ask what are you thinking about? Answer- damn if I know, that is part of my problem I guess if I knew maybe I could stop thinking about it. I do not have any problems with my wife we have great sex. Only happens with other couples. If anyone has anymore suggestions please post!

N Wilkesboro NC
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lots of good advice here, FUN and BDH are both on target. mental, mental, mental. the little blue can help, but it is not a miracle worker. if i am not attracted to the other lady, six of them won't help.

another thing that can give you problems is a little too much attention to what's going on with your lady, and not enough attention to the one you are with. not suggesting you ignore your mate, but some guys just cannot get it out of their heads. they can't relax and enjoy themselves because they are too focused on what's going on with her and the other guy, or gal. if you think that may be happening, you and your lady may need to have a talk about whether or not the LS is for you.

Orlando FL
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I bet if you asked nice they'd promise not to use the whole hand...

-M

Colleyville TX
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I am willing to take the oral exam, but don't care to be analyzed.

Belle Chasse LA
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TOPIC: SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY