Question for the guys!: Swingers Discussion 77495

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TOPIC: Question for the guys!

Created by: cyounaked Original Starting post for this thread:
Sorry if I am intruding but need some input from you guys! Ok, so we play with a couple on a regular basis. He can be an excellent lay...and in fact I know this...but in a group type setting, he doesn't perform his best. He is totally turned on by all the foreplay and touching, grabbing, etc and when we're alone he's good, but in a setting where people are watching him, he just loses it! We've taken it behind closed doors before (separate rooms from our spouses) but I lose something when I can't see/hear what my husband is doing. I get off BIG TIME on watching him, hearing him, and even messing around with her (like a free-for-graball type thing) but he just cannot keep it up when we're all together. I am wondering if this is normal and maybe is there anything I can do as his partner at the time to help him get over the shyness? I need a confident man that can take control....

Created by: cyounaked
Original Starting post for this thread:

Sorry if I am intruding but need some input from you guys!  Ok, so we play with a couple on a regular basis.  He can be an excellent lay...and in fact I know this...but in a group type setting, he doesn't perform his best.  He is totally turned on by all the foreplay and touching, grabbing, etc and when we're alone he's good, but in a setting where people are watching him, he just loses it!  We've taken it behind closed doors before (separate rooms from our spouses) but I lose something when I can't see/hear what my husband is doing.  I get off BIG TIME on watching him, hearing him, and even messing around with her (like a free-for-graball type thing) but he just cannot keep it up when we're all together.  I am wondering if this is normal and maybe is there anything I can do as his partner at the time to help him get over the shyness?  I need a confident man that can take control....

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User Details are only visible to members.	wish jenna would say that to me. It wouldn't be a problem if she was going to help.
Lake Worth FL			Username hidden (7209 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I happens to me all the time. I love the flirting and foreplay and do great one-on-one but get me in a group room and down it goes. I don't understand this because after 12 years in the lifestyle I'm not shy, prudish or uncomfortable in a group setting. I just lose my erection every time. I've discussed this with other friends and found out its not that unusual. Let's face it, performance anxiety is the worst part of the lifestyle.
Grant AL			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	J&K, Isn't that awesome???? I mean, when Jay is really into her, I can actually get distracted LOL because its SO erotic! Its like interactive PORN! LOL Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23631 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Wyld, For us, a big part of the pleasure is seeing each other completely into the other person. If Kristin isn't completely into the other guy then I don't want us to take it to the next step. When she is really excited by the other guy, that makes the whole experience that much better for me. She tells me it is the same way for her. I think you both need to talk and understand what each other is really feeling when you meet other couples.
Mount Joy PA			Username hidden (15 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Mr. Wyld, My suggestion is this. Sit down with your wife, tell her what you are feeling and thinking. Yes, I agree....if I were to sense this I would sense that horrific D word, drama!! And prob would not play again. Now, on the same token: Jay and I gauge things as a couple. Like, we meet the couple, and if we are flirting, etc. Jay and I always come together, and he will say "what do ya think" and thats when we decide if play is a go or no go. If I trust her and like them I have no issues with him being completely into her. But again, we love separate room play. Not too many couples are into separate room play so we don't do it often, but we do like it. Sit with your wife, tell her what you are feeling....she will tell you if she is jealous or not. Best of luck to you, Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23631 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I sometimes have that problem in group settings, but i do like group sex. Answer is quite simple at least for me.... I take vitamin V pops that bad boy up like a good soldier. Dont always need it, usually just when i'm tired or have had a bad day. Keep a bottle of vit v nearby.
Lake Worth FL			Username hidden (7209 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks for everyones input. This couple are our best friends and we love playing with them because of our comfort level with them. We do things with them we probably wouldn't be doing with other couples we meet. And all of you make good points. I do absolutely LOVE watching my husband in action and I love the touching and feeling between all of us and when we're in separate rooms, it's impossible to do that; though I can hear. I try to guess what it is they are doing at that moment to be all hot like that. If we stay in same room I get jipped though because I spend half the time trying to keep the other guy hard. I guess I'll just weigh my options next time we're together. I REALLY do need to learn to be more vocal and if it doesn't work again this time, maybe this isn't what we should be doing together. The guy I'm with is a little different probably then most men in this LS. The most foreplay he'll do is oral (me on him-which is ok because I get ticked off when someone goes down on me and just doesn't do it for me) and there are certain parts of his body that normally would turn a guy on that if you go near, he is definitely down for the count for the rest of the night!
Ocala FL			Username hidden (77 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree with ss on this one. If you are like Jay and I, and are truly comfortable either way same or separate room, thats one thing...go with separate. However, she clearly states that she gets into seeing her hubby at play. For her to then choose separate room play means she is "taking one for the team" so to speak...and this is not okay. If the guy blows your world....if he screws you and you see moons and stars, consider it. But if he is alright, AND you are sacrificing seeing your hubby, you may want to consider moving on. Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23631 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	cyounaked said that she loses something when she can't see her husband, so I question all the posters telling her to keep it separate rooms with this couple. As far as I am concerned, no relationship with another couple is worth my relationship with my spouse. If I am losing something because I want to be able see my wife, but the other woman can't perform when my wife is around, it is so long other woman, not so long wife.
Washington PA			Username hidden (27 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	No heavy drinking and swinging, definitely don't go together. For the cyounaked couple: valovers said it best. With the couple you are referring to, keep it separate rooms and enjoy it that way. Enjoy same room with all your other friends.
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

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TOPIC: Question for the guys!

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