I would say there were most likely signs of change in her demeanor and emotions towards him that were present ... although i feel when your the one in this situation emotions and other factors may blind a man or woman to these signs. Also, considering that those of us commenting on the situation are doing so from a 3rd party perspective have a clear and un-obscured view of things, its easier to dissect. It agree that it is doubtful that swinging was the reason this happened ... it is more likely than not that it made her more interested in leaving him sooner than she may have if they were not. Couples must be secure in their partners love and sexual happiness in order to enter this lifestyle under the right circumstances, and i believe that most couples are and have been aware of this when getting involved in it. The thing i think most couples overlook (out of ignorance or misunderstanding) is that it is a LOT of DAMN HARD WORK (of both partners) to MAINTAIN this security (onces its established does not mean it remains that way forever without maintenance) Either way .. just my two cents ... not particularly on this situation ... but more-so on the general topic

debrich, ouch! I don't think he deserved to receive that kind of treatment. I apologize flagflyer for that. Can it happen Tom? Yes. Does it happen often? No, I don't think so...but I have talked to one or two that lost their spouse/so to someone in the lifestyle. And I have talked to one good friend that had a wife come this close to leaving her husband for him, only he stopped it....she wanted to cuddle after sex, play only alone with him, started talking pet names like baby, sweetheart, etc. etc. and etc. All warning signs. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I can tell you that according to our 70% divorce rate swinging has little to do with it...its just the means by which she happened to meet this guy. She could very well have met him at her office, church (yes, this does happen), PTO, etc. So do NOT think that swinging is what caused her to stray, just the mode that she happened to use. Pick yourself up. Not all women are going to do this to you, so do not build walls around yourself to avoid being hurt again. Take care, and only the best of luck to you. Shelly

That was some funny shit. LOL

LMFAO...
I was all enjoying akron's post ..smiling ear to ear...then lurk you totally made me lmfao!!

kisses to you both
sas

I'm sorry Akron, I didn't mean to wheeze on your gig, but hey, that one was just like shooting fish in a barrel, you know?

I'll try to contain future outbursts, no matter how big and fat the duck is, just sitting there and waiting to be shot!

Akron, are you saying that you'd shoot your load all over Sassy and then lick her clean? Wow, you're far more open minded than I ever imagined!

i can do a shot...just takes me two tries :D

bad annie,

What tricks would you do for a couple shots of blue agabi?

som,

You say you're easy... but are you a cheap date?

We've been in and around the lifestyle for about 7, maybe 8 years now. In that time, we've encountered two basic categories of couples- one type that's very trusting, loving and secure in their relationship, who are trying to build and add on to what they already share between them and a second type, who's trying to fix something or make up for something that they don't already have. For this second type, and there's plenty of them out there, it's akin to taking a walk in a mine field. If you're looking to find something you don't have, when you do find it, it's not going to fix your problem, rather it's going to make it all the more obvious. Worse yet, you've now found what you didn't have and wanted to find- so, what incentive is there for staying in your current relationship, so lacking, and pursuing the thing you were searching for all along. For the record, these second types of couples are typically marked by constant bickering, jealousy and insecurity issues, such as the one couple we met where the husband accused the wife of enjoying herself too much! We've now learned to recognize these couples and avoid them, as well as the drama they bring to the table. If you know someone who has split up "as a result" of swinging, or if you feel this has happened to you, take an honest look at the situation and ask yourself if you were a stable, trusting and loving couple before and swinging changed that, or if swinging only magnified the flaws you already had in your relationship!