One 'rule' we decided to have when we got into the lifestyle is that both of us have the right to say no to play for whatever reason with no questions asked. Sometime you can just get a vibe from someone that makes you feel uncomfortable even if it's something you can't put into words. One of us saying no has only happened once (sort of). I told her no once. We were at the bar of a meet a greet when I got her attention and shook my head no. She separated from him, gave a quick kiss on the cheek and we walked away. She never asked me why because a explanation is not necessary. I told her why anyway. It wasn't what she was doing or who she was doing it with. We were at a off premise club and I thought him going down on her at the bar might have been frowned upon. I never meant for us to walk away from them but all she knew at the time is that I said no and she respected my wishes. Anyway, my point is if someone rubs you the wrong way for whatever reason you should be able to tell your SO that your not interested in playing with that couple or person. If there is someone for whatever reason I feel I wouldn't be comfortable being friends with I sure as hell don't want to play with them.

sorry about the double post...damn computer! haha.

I think it really depends on what about his personality you don't like. Is he cocky, pushy, arrogant, competitive, a know-it-all? If you're all 4 in the same room, would you feel intimidated, repulsed? To give good advice, I would like to know more about the feelings you're having about his personality. It may just be a case of first-meeting nerves on the guy's part, a bit too loud, laughing too much, BUT if there's a real case where the guy is overbearing towards his wife, or seems to be the one into it and "forcing" his wife along, then that's to be avoided. Not enough info here to give you a good opinion on how we've handled similar situations or what our advice is to you. Gina

I think it really depends on what about his personality you don't like. Is he cocky, pushy, arrogant, competitive, a know-it-all? If you're all 4 in the same room, would you feel intimidated, repulsed? To give good advice, I would like to know more about the feelings you're having about his personality. It may just be a case of first-meeting nerves on the guy's part, a bit too loud, laughing too much, BUT if there's a real case where the guy is overbearing towards his wife, or seems to be the one into it and "forcing" his wife along, then that's to be avoided. Not enough info here to give you a good opinion on how we've handled similar situations or what our advice is to you. Gina

Be more specific, please. What is it about his personality that bothers you?

I don't think that you should choose who she is sexually attracted to either. Where is the level playing field in that?

you said he is not the guy you would choose for her.

sounds like a twinge of jealousy that she is attracted to a guy that dont look much like you ? and you did say he is a nice guy.

key thing here is to communicate with your wife and get to know them better. you may find you do like him after all.

be honest with yourself. is it because he dont look like the guy you think she would be attracted to ?

not saying go ahead and do it but think about how you would feel if the tables were turned.

In my honest opinion......if ya'll all ain't comfortable then it won't be anything but trouble.......