Hi, I just don't get the guy not wanting a mfm if he's had a fmf. I enjoy it when my wife enjoys having fun with me an another guy. True, it can get a little boring when it's just him and her but like I said "I like it when she is enjoying herself". Maybe alot of the problem is thinking he will give her more pleasure or be bigger but I always figured I might learn a new thing or two she likes, which I have. She has been with one man bigger than I am and I can understand how it might be intimidating. We haven't had a fmf so I can't speak to that side of the coin or her thoughts on it. I just figure fair is fair so everyone should have a chance to try out their fantasies.

sweetjzabelle, what exactly are the issues you are talking about? you dont mean couples who only seek a FMF as an issue, do you?
..i'm just getting a little confused here.

Sweet Jez- We don't consider it having issues. we completely trust each other. I just don't really have a desire to "be with" other men. I do however choose to be with other women. My hubby started out simply allowing me to be with other women without him. I wanted him to join in. It just made it soooo much sexier to me. We would prefer to have a couple regular women that we get together with as opposed to the hit or miss thing with several random women. I am absolutely great if I never have sex with another man. Hell I get off hardest by either: being w my hubby, being w a woman, being w my hubby and another woman, or watching him w another woman lmao!!!!

Jealousy, insecurity, wanting thier desires and not being able to grant thier partners desires. All reasons I would think twice about joining a cpl that had these issues.

I continue to be amazed at the number of guys, like myself, who really get off seeing their woman being pleasured by another man. I love it, and it makes me even hotter for my wife. (Gets me going for HIS, too...lol)

There are a few guys who are a little afraid of joining in, for fear of MM "incidental contact", but if you don't have a big deal with that, it can be awesome for all three. And if his partner joins in too, it's incredible!

@Whale- I really only entertained the idea of ever participating in a MFM was the having to take one for the team. I appreciate the fact that my hubby cannot fathom the idea of me with another man. I understand that it would be such a crushing blow to his psyche, heart, mind, and very soul to have another man: please me, make me possibly make noises that I've never made for him, be so large that "it" isn't the same for days, that I may even have a true desire in my heart(loins) for sex with that other man on a regular basis. My husband is truly the beat of my heart. The moment I found out that it would bother him, MFM was no longer an option on the table. I'm glad he buys into the notion of me being with other women with or without him. It is about me being the center of attention for him. It is wonderful to be in this lifestyle understanding that there is not just ONE WAY TO SWING. I appreciate the similarities and differences of ALL people. I wish everyone luck in finding that "extra" that we all want to increase the happiness that we already have.

"Keep working on him and explain your feelings to him while you are sucking his cock."

Ahh! The epitome of multi-tasking. LOL!

Personally, I think your husband has got the "normal issues" that non-swingers (a.k.a. "vanilla") couples have. However, he has accommodated your desire to be with another woman and is reaping the trickle-down benefits ;-) of that situation. Keep working on him and explain your feelings to him while you are sucking his cock. Make your suggestive, erotic conversation last a long time as his frustration builds and just keep telling him, "Wouldn't you like to see......slicing in and out......while....etc." and then finish him off while he's holding that thought. :-) Probably shouldn't take more than three or four of those before he thinks the whole thing was his idea to start with! :-) Seriously, I suggest you simply tell your husband that you are going to scout the site for a suitable single male and that the two of you will interview (together) the short list of guys, by meeting with them (individually, of course) in a public place for a drink. Also, I believe that the ladies are the center ("queens," if you will) of this "Lifestyle" (you are to me, anyway) and we guys are the drones. You need to get what you want as you grow within the Lifestyle and a guy that dictates everything that happens simply will not have a happy girl on his hands. When the ladies are not happy, nobody is happy. If you actually HAVE found a lady to join you for a FMF (or FFM as some might say, with your being Bi), you are fortunate, since it is difficult to find a single lady. And, if you find the right single guy, your husband will be very comfortable with him. I think it important that you clearly communicate some ground rules between you and your husband and another set between the two of you and your single male playmate.

My hubby and communicate well, he just can not wrap his mind around me receiving another cock. I do not hold it against him. Tit for tat does not apply in this delicate situation.

I enjoy exploring other women. Admittedly I enjoy cock more, another women just adds another dimension.

@Karamel.... Why do you want two?
Me? When I suck cock I use my lips, my tongue and my my mind. When my face gets fucked I imagine my mouth is my pussy with eyes. I do not want to be 'gang' fucked but i want a 'nice', sensual experience. Speak freely... we all friends here. L

Wife here: I totally agree with most of what has been said. My husband completely admits for him it is partially insecurity. But the other part is he considers me his prize possession. We got into the lifestyle because I wanted to have 3somes with us and another women. He actually had no problem when I wanted to have a gf for myself and I realized I would rather have the opportunity to have him participate. Maybe y hubby is "weird". He enjoys us having 3somes, but its more about watching me with another woman. For me, I LOVE women, but watching him with another woman too just doubles my pleasure. Now, I admit there are tons of attractive men out there. I am on the search for a woman as our "ongoing" third. Currently my problem is that I find that most women interested also have a man. I don't wanna ask a woman to "cheat" to be with us. I swear I'm in the wrong city...HELP!!! lol