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Hubby okay w- FMF but not MFM : Swingers Discussion 195064
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TOPIC: Hubby okay w- FMF but not MFM
Created by: whalerockers The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Sweet Jez- We don't consider it having issues. we completely trust each other. I just don't really have a desire to "be with" other men. I do however choose to be with other women. My hubby started out simply allowing me to be with other women without him. I wanted him to join in. It just made it soooo much sexier to me. We would prefer to have a couple regular women that we get together with as opposed to the hit or miss thing with several random women. I am absolutely great if I never have sex with another man. Hell I get off hardest by either: being w my hubby, being w a woman, being w my hubby and another woman, or watching him w another woman lmao!!!!

Cordova TN
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Jealousy, insecurity, wanting thier desires and not being able to grant thier partners desires. All reasons I would think twice about joining a cpl that had these issues.

Spring TX
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I continue to be amazed at the number of guys, like myself, who really get off seeing their woman being pleasured by another man. I love it, and it makes me even hotter for my wife. (Gets me going for HIS, too...lol)

There are a few guys who are a little afraid of joining in, for fear of MM "incidental contact", but if you don't have a big deal with that, it can be awesome for all three. And if his partner joins in too, it's incredible!

Tempe AZ
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@Whale- I really only entertained the idea of ever participating in a MFM was the having to take one for the team. I appreciate the fact that my hubby cannot fathom the idea of me with another man. I understand that it would be such a crushing blow to his psyche, heart, mind, and very soul to have another man: please me, make me possibly make noises that I've never made for him, be so large that "it" isn't the same for days, that I may even have a true desire in my heart(loins) for sex with that other man on a regular basis. My husband is truly the beat of my heart. The moment I found out that it would bother him, MFM was no longer an option on the table.

I'm glad he buys into the notion of me being with other women with or without him. It is about me being the center of attention for him. It is wonderful to be in this lifestyle understanding that there is not just ONE WAY TO SWING. I appreciate the similarities and differences of ALL people. I wish everyone luck in finding that "extra" that we all want to increase the happiness that we already have.

Cordova TN
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"Keep working on him and explain your feelings to him while you are sucking his cock."

Ahh! The epitome of multi-tasking. LOL!

Freeland MI
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Personally, I think your husband has got the "normal issues" that non-swingers (a.k.a. "vanilla") couples have. However, he has accommodated your desire to be with another woman and is reaping the trickle-down benefits ;-) of that situation.

Keep working on him and explain your feelings to him while you are sucking his cock. Make your suggestive, erotic conversation last a long time as his frustration builds and just keep telling him, "Wouldn't you like to see......slicing in and out......while....etc." and then finish him off while he's holding that thought. :-) Probably shouldn't take more than three or four of those before he thinks the whole thing was his idea to start with! :-)

Seriously, I suggest you simply tell your husband that you are going to scout the site for a suitable single male and that the two of you will interview (together) the short list of guys, by meeting with them (individually, of course) in a public place for a drink.

Also, I believe that the ladies are the center ("queens," if you will) of this "Lifestyle" (you are to me, anyway) and we guys are the drones. You need to get what you want as you grow within the Lifestyle and a guy that dictates everything that happens simply will not have a happy girl on his hands. When the ladies are not happy, nobody is happy.

If you actually HAVE found a lady to join you for a FMF (or FFM as some might say, with your being Bi), you are fortunate, since it is difficult to find a single lady. And, if you find the right single guy, your husband will be very comfortable with him. I think it important that you clearly communicate some ground rules between you and your husband and another set between the two of you and your single male playmate.

San Luis Obispo CA
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Wife here: I totally agree with most of what has been said. My husband completely admits for him it is partially insecurity. But the other part is he considers me his prize possession. We got into the lifestyle because I wanted to have 3somes with us and another women. He actually had no problem when I wanted to have a gf for myself and I realized I would rather have the opportunity to have him participate. Maybe y hubby is "weird". He enjoys us having 3somes, but its more about watching me with another woman. For me, I LOVE women, but watching him with another woman too just doubles my pleasure. Now, I admit there are tons of attractive men out there. I am on the search for a woman as our "ongoing" third.

Currently my problem is that I find that most women interested also have a man. I don't wanna ask a woman to "cheat" to be with us. I swear I'm in the wrong city...HELP!!! lol

Cordova TN
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"having their cake and eating it too" I totally agree with this. I've chatted privately with many wives here and on another site over the years. I've found that there are a lot of couples who claim to be only interested in MFF, but they aren't on the same page. Many of the wives have a real interest in MFMs, but their husbands won't have it. Only one actually told me she chatted and met in public with another guy, but most kept their desires hidden. When I was married, I was up front with my husband and told him if he wanted to have threesomes with women it was only fair that we also find guys for me. He was a little hesitant at first, but we both ended up loving the experience. I have a real hangup with the double standard of guys "having their cake and eating it too" that seems to go on within many couples. Ladies! Be up front with your man. The lifestyle is all about communication. If there's something you want, talk about it. If he's absolutely opposed to it, then you need to evaluate whether or not the lifestyle is for you. If MFFs are all you are interested in, great! If not, you need to have a talk.

Washington DC
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I suppose I am like most guys in that I prefer one on one M/F. But being a single male who prefers to play with a woman who is married, I can’t ask a married woman to exclude her husband. So by default, it usually proceeds to MFM. MFM is okay provided all of the attention is being paid to her. A happy (and satisfied) woman makes for a happy and satisfied man (but it should be later for the man).

Chester NJ
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Definitely insecurity on the guys part in most cases. MFM would normally be my preference, but it depends on the consideration/thoughtfulness of the other guy. So many men are into taking care of themselves we've been reluctant to actively pursue MFM. Seems to me the two guys need to chat beforehand and have a plan. One guy selfishly rocking the bed can ruin the experience for one or both of his partners. I'd be interested to know how other guys approach a MFM encounter?

Allentown PA
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TOPIC: Hubby okay w- FMF but not MFM