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Guys, what is the deal : Swingers Discussion 62149
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TOPIC: Guys, what is the deal
Created by: coupleforfun69
Original Starting post for this thread:
I have a question for all the men on this site. We had been talking to a couple of guys trying to set up meetings. Talked to both guys for a while, traded pics and set up to meet. The first guy (oralguy25ny) never showed, never called or e-mail. Then we set up to meet with the second guy (hornyseldenboy), talked to him on a Tuesday, were to meet Friday, he too never showed. Called his cell, no answer. I sent him an e-mail, very nice just concerned something happened. Instead of writing back, he blocks us.

Can someone please fill me in to what the hell that is???

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Wow, a lot of that was actually helpful! Thank you! I'm looking forward to our next party. Nbmg

Atlantic Bch SC
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MrsPandMe hit anothr nail on the head, and as usual, I like everything shesmooth has to say.

Hilliard OH
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nbmg,

"Not sure we understand how the lifestyle works yet. But, our positive experiences keep us coming back!"

The lifestyle is high school all over again. This time you have an advantage. The first time you went through high school you were clueless and just trying to survive. This time you know the game. Play to win!

Hilliard OH
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for the OP, agree with Jez.

nbmg, it's good that you temper your comments with an understanding and acceptance of your limited experience. that sounds to me like a couple who understands they still have much to learn about the lifestyle and are open to learning. that puts you much further ahead in this game than some who have been in it 10 times longer than you.

next, we love swingers such as yourselves who go to parties because they are looking to meet and fuck another couple or three. however, I can also tell you that our modus operandi for parties and clubs is as follows: identify a couple we are attracted to. take some time to talk with them to determine interest and compatibility. and finally, invite them to play or move on in our search. that makes us one of those "poof" couples, but if we're not interested, we're not going to keep hanging around and chatting you up.

and the lady who wanted to sit and yak all night. nutbag. welcome to the LS.

Orlando FL
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Westernpa hits it on the head. I was once one of those single guys who looked to play with couples, but preferred a long term friendship/playtime to a quick roll in the hay. I'm not discounting the fun of a sexy onetime pickup, but in the long run, it was more fun with a couple I'd become actual friends with. And let's face it; different people handle the lifestyle differently and at different paces. I'm more the "slow and steady" type, preferring to relax and get to know my partner's hot spots, kinks, etc., rather than trying to be the World's Greatest Lover over one evening. As time went on, we all got more comfortable with each other, and the sex became wilder and more experimental as the trust factor set in.

In any case, that was what worked for me and the couples I played with. Now, as a married couple, we tend to be on the same page, though Mrs. T is more outgoing than I am and can get the ball rolling at a party a lot more quickly than I. Of course, this means that odds are that she'll have had a couple of encounters while I'm still shooting the shit with a lady or couple, but that's my pace.

I don't jump on the "hate single guys" bandwagon here because I've been in that position. True, most of these guys have earned the bad rap, but there are more than a few who are genuinely good dudes who just want to have fun with a couple and are willing to put in the work involved to get to know them. We're still looking for such a man or two, but you never know!

Tempe AZ
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From the people we've talked to that deal with single males, it's about a 10 to 1 miss/hit ratio. A vast majority of guys on here have no real intention of "pulling the trigger", and honestly you should be thankful for that, as they aren't the kind of guys you want within a kilometer of your pussy.

As to the club scene, this is entirely normal. Almost without fail, we've found that EASILY half the couples at a club type event are not swingers, they're just curious about swingers. Of the half that is left, half are so nervous they either become completely recluse and won't even make eye contact with anyone that expresses interest, or they try to overcome the nerves by drinking, which makes them, well, drunk and wholly unattractive to couples that know better then to bed someone who's been drinking. After the couples that have predetermined who they are going to fuck (the cliques) that leaves maybe an eighth of the couples at the party that actually are there to play. If you're not aggressive and quick, those few will rapidly pair off and go do their thing. We, in an attempt to not be overbearing and coming across as pushy assholes have missed out on a lot of action at parties...

Someone mentioned the parade of people walking in, looking at the two (three, four) of you going at it and leaving. We've run into this a TON. What's happening is people see you are screwing another couple and assume that it's not a dance they can cut in on, so they just leave. God knows there are a lot of times where we've been at it and would LOVE for another couple to join us, but it's hard to convey that to someone, and they might consider it rude to ask to join.

Dallas TX
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Men who are full of shit and married with a wife that doesn't know would be my first guess ..........

Spring TX
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I don't understand the old stand around and drink/talk all night either. I go to a swinger thing I want to fuck simple as that. I don't want to regale ladies with my brilliant intellect (pretty sure that is a lost cause anyway) or fart around half the night. I am one of those pushy people though I do ask if it is okay before my hands go too far. She seems uninterested I just move on.

As for no shows. Expect it. Also expect people not matching pics or weight. If the pics don't match we bail, life is too short to mess with crap like that.

Lexington KY
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In our (admittedly limited) experience. It's not just the guys. We have been to meet and greets and hotel takeovers where we talk to a couple and things seem to be progressing and then "poof" they disappear.

Now, we are pretty quick, if we like you, let's go up to the room and get started, but seriously, if you aren't interested in getting with another couple, then say so upfront (or perhaps, don't go to lifestyle events?).

For a lot of people, lifestyle parties, meet and greets, etc. seem to be foreplay for them to play alone. Nothing wrong with that, just frustrating for people looking for partners if that is not said up-front.

One woman, flirted and talked with my wife and I throughout the ballroom part of a hotel takeover. She talked at length about how long she had been in the lifestyle (20 years). Then we went upstairs and she seemed intent on talking for the entire rest of the evening, avoiding all physical advances while continuing to flirt and appear interested. After a good hour of this we bailed.

Not sure we understand how the lifestyle works yet. But, our positive experiences keep us coming back!

Atlantic Bch SC
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Let me add to this thread by relating what occurred at last Saturday's house party (a bithday party).

The party was hosted by friends of mine with a nice pool and great personalities. 10-12 SLS "swinger" couples were in attendance together with a few single ladies and single men. My good friend D and I decided to get things rolling by stripping and jumping in the pool. She explained to me then that, aftercutting the cake and singing Happy Birthday, that she would like to fuck 4-5 men upstairs. While everyone else was singing Happy Birthday, I was canvassing the single and coupled men to request that they join us upstairs.

What happened? One (1) other man and I went upstairs to play with D. We engaged in about an hour and a half of hot, loud, sweaty sex with a very sexy lady who very easily could have handled 5 or more men. A stream of clothed singles and couples dropped by to watch, comment, say things like "Oh, my", then go back downstairs to drink.

MORAL?: Some of us (couples and singles) are more sexual than others. That is the significance of the "Wild", "Moderate", and "Tame" designations on profiles. If you want swing friends to have sex with, as contrasted with merely talking about it, make sure that they walk the walk, and don't just talk the talk.

Memphis TN
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TOPIC: Guys, what is the deal