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Female Menopause : Swingers Discussion 20924610101
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TOPIC: Female Menopause
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" i am a man that does everything around the home. My office was and is in my home. My present sister in law calls me, "Belvie", for Mr Belvidere in the TV show in the 60's. Thirty years ago, September four children start school. September one week in Hedonism, October one week in Club Orient and November one week in Club Med. That is after thirty nites in our camper in past spring and summer. We spent EVERY Easter week, ten days, of the 1980's at Disney World. All along building a hugh investment business."

I'm sorry I must be hormonal but I don't "get" how the above statement has any relevance to the topic at hand. Do you somehow feel those actions made you a good person? A good husband? Made your marriage "good" . You're talking about "stuff" I on the other hand am talking about emotions. I won't be a sexist and mention most men (personally know that isn't true) have no idea about emotions, nurturing etc but I can honestly say YOU as a man are completely clueless to what makes a man happy. People give and receive "love" differently. Some people feel loved by service ( cutting the grass, helping with laundry) others by the words of affirmation, some by gifts (vacations and jewelery) and many others by touch (hugs and kisses). Many people make the mistake of trying to show love by the ways they feel "loved" instead of determining what another person needs to "feel" loved. Me I'm a touch and words person, hold me and say you love me, Mr Sav is a service person, he feels loved when I "help" him do something. The secret to a successful relationship is knowing what you need to "feel" loved and being aware of what another person needs to feel loved.....chances are a couple each needs different things, so expressing your love in ways that make YOU feel loved isn't a guarantee the other person will "feel" loved. You can raise a child for instance with all the worlds things you can buy but they still might not "feel" loved because what they needed was more hugs. Others you love them to dead with hugs and kisses and what they really needed to "feel" loved was a clean house and good dinner. If that's too complex for you to understand, I apologize and you can go through your life with your narrow minded thought that YOU were a perfect husband and menopause is simply the devil out to rob the world of men of their relationships. As I tried to say before 2 wonderful people who just don't mesh. I hope your next relationship has found a way for you both to "feel" loved in a way that satisfies you both.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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I can't imagine any woman being able to live with HFT. Just read his posts. I would kill myself if I had him as a life partner.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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this thread is about female menopause, not the other kind.

Flat Rock NC
 
 
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oh and one last note 45 is a magic number...not every woman goes through menopause at 45 it can start as young as late 30's with peri-menopause or never kick in until 50+

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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you need to get over it and stop assuming every woman when they turn 45 is going to go crazy. After Menopause was over did she come back to you and apologize for the way she acted? Blame it on the hormones? Beg you to take her back? As Mrs Sav said that age frame for a lot of women comes with big changes all over in the family dynamic and some women just want out. And on that note....I'm out.

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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"...like my friends daughter in NJ making $200,000 and having everything. What is about 45 year old women that they go, CRAZY? "

Maybe a share of $200k (in NJ) is not, EVERYTHING?

Flat Rock NC
 
 
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Sometimes 2 perfectly wonderful people make one horrible relationship. That doesn't make either of you "bad" it simply means you were "bad" for each other. ------------------------------ Mrs Sav - well said and you could replace the She/Her with He/Him and you've got my former situation. I don't think I suffered from Womenopause (or mid-life crisis), I just woke up after 20 years of doing "what I was supposed to" and realized it wasn't a "bad" marriage, it just wasn't a "good" marriage.

I was once told not to speak ill of the SO/EX because it shows YOUR poor taste in women. LOL I'm guilty of it from time to time.

Jacksonville FL
 
 
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I agree with the divorce lawyer. You do get under ones skin. Not a good trait to have and no wonder she went crazy on you.

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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About the age menopause hits life changes in so many ways including kids leaving the nest,going off to college , being less dependent, she has more personal time without children . what happens during that time is women take a look at the last 18 years of rearing children, being wife and mom and always putting others needs before her own. Many women "wake up" one day and have no clue who "they" are anymore never mind who their husband is . They realize they suddenly have nothing in common with their spouse outside of the children, they suddenly have time to "focus" on their own happiness and take a long hard look at their "husbands", their relationships etc . Many times they don't like what they see. Is it their fault? Or does the husband take her for granted? Does he come home from work whining how "tired" he is, how "stressed" his day was, plop his ass on the couch with a beer and ask what's for dinner? I don't think it has a whole lot to due with menopause I think it has more to do with the time in her life, where she has been, where she is now and what she wants for her future and frankly buddy you weren't it. I'm not blaming YOU nor her but I also am not going to blame menopause. Life changes, a loving couple adapt together and couple who was already struggling is I for a rude awaking. You might have been happy, content and thought things were fine in your marriage and maybe for YOU things were but trust that doesn't mean she wasn't unhappy for years. Sometimes 2 perfectly wonderful people make one horrible relationship. That doesn't make either of you "bad" it simply means you were "bad" for each other. I find it extremely sad you seem so bitter and angry after all these years, I find it even sadder that you can't admit your relationship had far bigger problems than a few hormones at menopause. One would think as years past you could be more objective and analytical and bare some of the responsibility for a relationship that didn't work out .....especially if you found happiness with another. Nothing is more of a turn off than a man who is constantly bad mouthing his ex wife, ex girl friend , ex lover, never mind being such a sexist to think for one minute that menopause stole your wife and your happy relationship. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Hell i will admit, sometimes i can be a real dick, and my wife, well she can be a cranky nut case.but you know what after 32yrs you learn to adjust. also we do't hold back when we have a complaint.


 
 
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TOPIC: Female Menopause