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Double Standard on the Ask Before Touching Rule : Swingers Discussion 207798
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TOPIC: Double Standard on the Ask Before Touching Rule
Created by: livewiresimone The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I personally love sexually aggressive women. I don't care if we've never even met before... if you want to touch my junk, bring it on. :)

Modesto CA
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livewire in the case as you described in your original post I wouldn't have touched the guy unless it was my spouse.

In lifestyle situations I do tend to make the first move if I see someone I'm interested in. SM's that attend our clubs are not allowed to approach first. So if I'm interested and I see any spark of interest in him I will move first....usually not by pulling down his swim trucks though lol that just sort of happened.

Louisville KY
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Scandal, I wasn't trying to insinuate it being a complete rule, it's why I put it in quotations. I'm not vilifying porn or the adult industry I was just throwing out what seems to be a logical explanation for why the behavior isn't frowned upon for woman like it is for men. More to the point of how people interpret what they see as reality vs. what reality is actually like.

We live in a world full of reality TV shows that a large majority of people see as "real life". If you take that mentality and apply it to anything "adult" related, you're going to be a grabby a-hole at a club that butts in when you're not invited on the off chance you are going to score.

I hope that makes better sense.

Long Beach CA
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Bayou, while I've seen that type of behavior at strip clubs and on porn, I completely disagree with your statement that the "rule" stems from the adult entertainment industry.

There are likely several reasons why women generally don't welcome the touch of uninvited males, even in lifestyle situations, and they have nothing at all to do with the adult entertainment industry. - Broadly speaking, women are less likely to be able to fend off attacks than their male counterparts, and it makes us feel guarded and defensive around strangers who would force themselves on us uninvited. There are exceptions to this as more and more women are trained in self defense, but sexual violations do still occur much too frequently. - Speaking for myself, when I choose the extra person(s) I want to play with, it is at the end of a process that has eliminated all others, at least for that time. Having anyone butt in, whether male or female, is an intrusion on a private party.

Granted, the things that I find pertinent to the question won't resonate with other people, but it's how I see it.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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I think the "rule" stems from the adult entertainment industry.

Go to a mens strip club, and you'll find horny guys watching women get naked on stage and for $20+ you can have that same woman dance for you on your lap completely naked. At no time is touching allowed unless its approved by the girl dancing. The woman in the situation is in complete control of what's happening. If she becomes uncomfortable, the guy is asked to leave.

Go to a womens strip club and you'll find horny women watching guys get nearly naked, and for $1 you can have that same guy wiggle his wang in your face intermittently for a few moments. At all times, it's perfectly acceptable to grab, grope, yell whatever word you've come to love for penis, jump up and down, and generally do whatever the fuck you want. There is no real control applied and the men just have to accept that this is the way it works. I've seen this first hand and the lovely (and she is lovely) misses has seen it enough to know she never wants to go to a male review again.

Watch straight porn (especially group sex stuff) and it's almost always the woman who initiates first sexual contact. It's almost ingrained into your mind. A new couple gets into the lifestyle to add some "spice" to their lives assumes what they see is the normal operating conditions.

Maybe that thought process is a small part of why it's OK for a woman to touch a guy (and for me, it's not such a big deal, as I'm a total attention whore anyway...so by all means, touch away ladies!) and not for guys.

Long Beach CA
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So when a guys does it, it's called assault. When a female does it, it's called foreplay.

;^D

Poland OH
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livewire, he had just walked from the nude beach to the prude bar and had a drink in each hand when he walked by me at the volley ball net his hands were full of drinks. I couldn't resist pulling his swimming trunks to his ankles. Then hanging them on the rather impressive erection that created ;) that was my "ice breaker" with him so to speak, as I got to test drive that rather impressive erection a few days later lol

Louisville KY
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Simone, Yeah, sorry. I just assumed it was the male half of your posse who created the post.

See, more assumptions, based on cultural norms and acceptability. :-/

SLO

San Luis Obispo CA
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I'm guilty of that. Like at hedo a guy went to go by me while I was sort of blocking the way by the volleyball net he had walked down the beach to get drinks while we were doing pics on top of the lion. He said do I need a password? I reached over pulled his bathing suit down to his ankles and said "that is the password" oooooopppps.

Louisville KY
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"Yourluvrman - But did you enjoy it??? Hmmmm????"

Absolutely. 100% LOL

Keep up the good work!

Emeryville CA
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TOPIC: Double Standard on the Ask Before Touching Rule