I have no idea, but I do appreciate the whole no lockjaw part!!

I think if it helps you and your doctor says that it is safe for you healthwise (be very careful from buying medications online or from other countries, especially Mexican pharmacies) go for it!! I have been told that they start out with these meds but end up usually not needing them because they take the mind factor out of it and he relaxes himself.

So go for it!

I too have had this problem....not so much when we started but weirdly only the past couple times we've played....I know it's all in my head...since once everyone else has had their fun...I bang the hell out of the wife...I even used Levitra and Cialis with no effect that night....worked like hell the rest of the weekend though...we usually have a few drinks before play starts...which does relax me...I do tell the lady I am with it's just not working....I don't want her getting lockjaw for no reason....and do VERY much appreciate her efforts...the only thing that has worked on me for sure in the past was a product out of Canada that a friend let me try once...."soft tab viagra" is what he called it....can use it after consuming alcohol....and works within 15 minutes of taking it...I loved it....the wife did not...lol...I was rock hard the entire weekend...if she even glanced my way...I got a erection...lol...took me two days to finally cum....I am ordering more of that today....since it seems to be the only thing that will allow me to relax and enjoy play....I honestly don't care if I finish...as long as the lady I am with gets what she wants....my wife says some ladies might be upset if I don't finish....I say...as long as I can perform...me finishing is not a issue for me....ladies your thoughts on this?

The preceding post is from a wise lady, indeed!

Jim

This is interesting because Jay and I also prefer separate room play. I do not think I have ever seen so many in one area who say they enjoy separate room play, most people (especially in this area) are shocked beyond belief at it. To me in truth, honesty is KEY. It is everything. For instance. I was with a hubby and he was having this issue. So I was working my ass off trying everything I could think to try to help him out. It seems though, the more you try the more he gets stressed out and then forget it, its just not going to happen. I would have appreciated him saying something after about 15 minutes vs. letting me suck my frickin jaws out of socket. But he was enjoying it I suppose. In truth it pissed me off. Not his erectile issues mind you, the fact that according to men I have consulted on the issue, most men know when its just not happening. I would suggest if you have this issue not letting her get stressed out in doing like I did but suggest changing the scenario. Go have a drink or take a shower together if possible, change the atmosphere.

Still of the Night is right on -- get to know the other cpl very well (3-4 mtngs first) before play -- initiate it slowly with necking, dancing, etc. Relax is good advice, but sometimes hard to do. If it is a couple you really like (and why would you want to fuck any others???) it will happen in its own good time. We like same room to kick start things with petting, etc., but like separate for the coup de grace. It is just hard for me to concentrate on my partner for the evening if Mrs. Chim is alongside. Usually as part of the afterglow we reconvene to the living room and rehash life over a glass of wine while snuggling. Sometimes ....if it is a really long evening....things work again...but at our maturity level we are very happy with one good long romp. Listen to the advice on this forum...different things work differently for different folks. This is just our modus. Good luck to you.

Let me also add to that LOTS of kissing and foreplay! And if things get silly, laugh! It doesnt have to be so serious all the time! If you STILL cant get things to go the way you want, make sure she has fun anyway and that lets you off the hook!

I agree, relaxation is key! I had these issues early on but probably not to the degree you have. I havent read your profile but I am guessing that you have been married a LONG time and are still fairly new to swinging and you are subconciously concerned that you may offend your wife. Not sure if total trust in this area is there yet? Thinking you were raised (as I) with the deap seated notion that you ONLY have sex with your spouse and anything else is cheating! What I found helpfull was to get to REALLY know a couple before we played. Visit with them 4-5 times...... play pool, cards, Dominoes, go fishing and have dinner. Seperate rooms help to focus on the other instead of worrying about your spouse. I dont know if ANY of this helps but GOOD LUCK!

Number one, this is common. You are not alone and you have done nothing wrong. Unfortunately however, the more you worry and think about it the worse it tends to get. It is called performance anxiety and lots of men suffer it from time to time. Jay rarely has it but when we are in groups (neither of us prefer group play) he has on occasion had issues. I would tell you to stop thinking about it and relax...but the more you TRY and relax the less you relax. And you may be a guy who just can't meet and fuck, you require an attraction or spending a little time with her to relax. The key is relaxing. There are ED drugs but like you said, I would try relaxing. For some people separate play is what they like but thats a personal decision. Good luck!

When ever I am with another woman, I can't do it. When I am with my wife I have no problems. I can keep on going, going and going; but when we play, I can't get the ride to work. She thinks it is funny , I don't. Help, I need advice.