Dear Abby letter September 3, 2009 asking why some men prefer older women: Swingers Discussion 139177

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TOPIC: Dear Abby letter September 3, 2009 asking why some men prefer older women

Created by: CTplaycouple Original Starting post for this thread:
"Dear Abby, I am a 59-year old woman who has been dating men in their 40s. At first, I refused because I thought they were too young for me and people might laugh. Since then, I have decided that as long as they know from the beginning that I'm not looking for a serious committed relationship, I'd be happy to go out. I have made some great friends and had some great times. Abby, why do you think younger men are attracted to older women? I'm not exceptionally pretty nor do I have a great body, but I am a caring, fun person who loves music and dancing. Do you think you could poll your readers and get some feedback from men who date older women as to why they do? -"Cougar" in New York. Dear "Cougar", Lord, I hate that word because it implies (to me) that the older woman is somehow predatory, and the men who find her attractive are helpless prey. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say it's because many older women are independent, self-confident, worldly and not looking for commitment. Those qualities can be very attractive if a man isn't looking for commitment either. Men, I'll be interested in your comments." So, men out there, let's hear from you why you are attacted to older women.

Created by: CTplaycouple
Original Starting post for this thread:

"Dear Abby,
        I am a 59-year old woman who has been dating men in their 40s.  At first, I refused because I thought they were too young for me and people might laugh.  Since then, I have decided that as long as they know from the beginning that I'm not looking for a serious committed relationship, I'd be happy to go out.  I have made some great friends and had some great times.
      Abby, why do you think younger men are attracted to older women?  I'm not exceptionally pretty nor do I have a great body, but I am a caring, fun person who loves music and dancing.  Do you think you could poll your readers and get some feedback from men who date older women as to why they do?
     -"Cougar" in New York.

  Dear "Cougar",
     Lord, I hate that word because it implies (to me) that the older woman is somehow predatory, and the men who find her attractive are helpless prey.
    If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say it's because many older women are independent, self-confident, worldly and not looking for commitment.  Those qualities can be very attractive if a man isn't looking for commitment either.
   Men, I'll be interested in your comments."

So, men out there, let's hear from you why you are attacted to older women.

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User Details are only visible to members.	Ben Franklin said that ? Remarkably sharp old guy huh.
Wichita Falls TX			Username hidden (235 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Benjamin Franklin answered this very question in 1745 with eight goodly reasons "... all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these: 1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable. 2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. 3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience. 4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. 5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. 6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. 7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. 8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!! Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend."
Ann Arbor MI			Username hidden (24 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	hmmm I'm going to be realistic and probably step on some toes but first let me say some men do really enjoy the company of older ladys and do prefer their company but some do because they are desperate some do because they have the odephus complesx, (did I spell that wrong) And some for financial reasons. enuff said
Wichita Falls TX			Username hidden (235 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Lost_j1 nailed it in my book: "women in their 30s and 40s are more comfortable with their bodies, lives and sex in general. We tend to know what we want and are past the whole giving a shit about being a good girl bullshit we were fed as children. We know what we like and aren't afraid to tell a man." Not to mention they know their way around the bedroom unlike most" twinkies ". Give me a wild woman or give me none!
Morganton NC			Username hidden (125 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have a (male) friend since 1976 who introduced me to swinging at that time; his preference is the really young girls, and I'm talking the barely legal variety, but he will go up into the early 20s now. My friend is now past 80, very hard of hearing and without the greatest memory in the world, and he still looks for the kids. I asked him one time, "What the thing with the 'twinkies' (my term for legal teens)? You can only screw for so long, and then you want to talk, and really, how much diversified talking can a 20-year old do? I mean, they only really have maybe 5-years or semi-adult life." His reply, "Well David (pause), they are so much fun to play with." My preference has always been the mature lady, because even in my best days, after so long in bed, I was too pooped to pop (again) and wanted to talk; and that was/is important to me. And I also believe some (NOT ALL) men may be intimidated by intelligent, successful and communicative women; me? I need/want that as much as the sex. Just my 2 pesos worth. Carpe Diem
Granada Hills CA			Username hidden (184 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	What I have found is that the same men that claim they prefer older women, tell younger women they prefer them. Basically a hard dick will say whatever to seek a warm wet place to plow. Sorry if that sounds crude but somebody has to tell the truth. Myself I want a warm wet place to plow, I do not care what age they are as long as they have brains, manners, self respect out of the bedroom. In the bedroom I want a wild woman. I find that in girls from 21 to as long as they are attractive and still breathing. We do find that couples in our own age group are easier to talk to, and my wife is a little more picky age wise than I am. But it is always funny at clubs that allow SMs how they move from one couple or female to another working their way around until one says yes. We find it humorous that sooner or later after they have hit on the young ones they make it around to us, and then throw out the line about older women. It is funny when my wife embarrasses them by telling them "What you think we are fucking blind and haven't been watching"!
Sanford NC			Username hidden (18796 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I believe some younger men prefer older women because they seek an advisor, a mentor, a wise counsel, not just a sex partner. What do people think about that?" LOL, when I was fucking the 23 year old I was definately not counseling or mentoring. I think that generally speaking. Generally mind you...because I know women who are 23 with great maturity and I know 45 year old children... but generally speaking (from what I have been told by men in their 20s...but then again, they may have been telling me whatever the fuck they thought I wanted to hear hahaha), women in their 30s and 40s are more comfortable with their bodies, lives and sex in general. We tend to know what we want and are past the whole giving a shit about being a good girl bullshit we were fed as children. We know what we like and aren't afraid to tell a man. Confidence is a man's strongest aphrodesiac.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I love a guy with gray chest hair Well here you go Jeepers, lol. ---------- Don't think for a second that I haven't enjoyed that pic, Mr. Treat!!! Sexy indeed. ;-)
Shippensburg PA			Username hidden (1794 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well when we win it will indeed be something to find out!
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I don't know what would get me into more trouble, all that money or those sexy eyes of yours.
Mercersburg PA			Username hidden (3451 post)

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TOPIC: Dear Abby letter September 3, 2009 asking why some men prefer older women

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