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TOPIC: An oral education: Teach me tonight
Created by: chimera66
Original Starting post for this thread:
I am posting this in both the Men Talk and Women talk forums because I think I have a lot to learn from both on this subject. In a casual conversation with my wife about sex, she dropped the bombshell that "of course, ALL women love oral. Why do you think I liked playing with Bill?" Bill and Ann were a younger couple that we were exclusive with for 4-5 years. Lots of great fun. But first a little history.

I made clumsy attempts at eating out girl friends when I was a young man just out of school and later in the military, later still in college. I never much worked on technique and I never got much feedback that indicated that I was giving much satisfaction in the process. I knew that blow jobs got me excited like nothing else, but didn't think I could ignite the same passion in women with mouth and tongue. Of course this was before the

This kind of early indifference went into my marriage. H is a beautiful woman and I was anxious to please her, but oral didn't seem to be doing it. Before long, I stopped fooling myself and stuck to fucking -- becoming a more than adequate swordsman that seemed to serve me well. As one woman murmured, when back under me after a long absence "Hmmm.....same old master." Well that kinda feedback tends to keep you keepin on.

The swinger forums have convinced me that this old dog had better learn some new tricks. Boys and Girls, I have some questions: 1. Was wifey right? Do ALL (or the vast majority of) women love oral? 2. If anything got me to this point it was the lack of feedback from my partners. Never once while I was between her legs has a woman ever said "That's it....that's the spot....keep on doing that....YES!" Either they viewed me as hopelessly inept or were just not interested in that activity. I suspect the former. Which leads me to: 3. What is the best technique? Ladies -- what drives you up the wall? Gentlemen -- what techniques have you found that causes the driving? I am serious here. I would love to bring my lovely wife to climax using oral. How best to do this? In fact, as we age, our tongues may well be more reliable than our dicks on certain occasions. In fact there may be partners who use oral to the exclusion of other forms of sex play. Any thoughts here? 4. I see a lot of women shave, apparently to provide their partner with a better oral experience. Is this recommended? Any downside to it?

I apologize for the length of this entry, and I welcome all of your feedback. Thanks.

Chet

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It's the journey that leads to the destination.

Fort Worth TX
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Interested in these posts. I was taught how to perform oral by a lesbian several years ago. My last girlfriend had been a lesbian for most of her life. (that's another story) When I went down on her she told me I ate pussy like a girl, so I guess I learned. The real secret I learned is that you have commit yourself to spend as much time as it takes to get her to where she wants to be. If you just concentrate on getting her off, you probably frustrate her. For women it is the buildup in many cases, whereas for guys it is the actual getting off. If you are not willing to spend the time, I find many women would rather you never got started.

Lou

Las Vegas NV
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I have no problem letting someone know what feels good and what doesn't for me. I will tell them verbally to do more of this or apply less pressure there. I want to feel the most erotic pleasures and if I don't communicate what they are then my playmates can only assume what I like by my body movements. I like so many things that I'd miss out on so many of them if body movements were the only way I'm sending signals. I personally like to have two fingers inside me massaging my g-spot as my clit is licked and suck. I love for my partner to run their tongue back and forth from my clit to my ass. I love to have my body explored with hands and tongue. Turn me over again and again as you find them. Don't concentrate on any one spot cause my whole body is an erogenous zone. Just cum back to my clit here and there. RaveN ( :~

Fort Worth TX
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Jim - Let me amend my earlier entry; after seeing your wife's pic -- bring her along! After you provide a good demo on my wife, I will engage in some experiential learning with yours! I am sure she can advise me in small corrections here and there until I have refined the technique. If you are a consultant or some such, you might even be able to write this off as a business trip. I'll confirm the training and verify your expense sheet. Chet

Charlotte NC
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Chimera,

If you meant what I said about "work safe," I meant don't open it at the office if you care that someone else might see it.

Livejournal is one of the largest blog sites out there. I have a journal there myself and am not aware of virus threats. Usual disclaimer, though, "some sites contain viruses, legal babble, yadda yadda"

Mukilteo WA
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LOL chimera! Well, one of the few advantages of getting old is accumulated experience!

Jim

South Riding VA
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Jim; I sense the perspective of an old master at this; maybe I should ask you to ''c'mon down" and give me a demo. No charge, and the wife might even insist on paying you!!

Charlotte NC
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Callahan -- If I had known at 19 what you know now, I would look like Mahatma Ghandi -- assuming I would still be alive. Kilo -- thanks for the tip; are u inferring that the site may be a virus spreader? Bad analogy, TripleThreat -- The make of the car has nothing to do with it -- but there are right ways and wrong ways to drive them; hence Driver Education.

Charlotte NC
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Check out the treatise on this subject in the blog (warning, not totally work safe):

chowyunsmut dot livejournal dot com slash 188294 dot html

Best bit of work on giving head (both male and female) I ever read.

Mrs. Kilo loves getting head, but I do have a friend who, despite a sex drive that is in high gear, has never had anyone with the patience or skill to bring her off orally. This is her rant: "Why is it that men just don't understand that there is more to a woman than just her clit? Mind you, that is the magic button, but there are nerve endings down there in other places, too. A little build-up would be nice. Gentleness to begin with would be greatly appreciated. For goodness sake, is it so horrible to take a little time and use a little finesse?"

Mukilteo WA
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Naturally, as always, the words "all" or "none" do not apply. So no, ALL women do not enjoy oral. Clearly, though, a large majority do. Communication again is the key. Pay attention to body language, too. A lot of women prefer not to have to TELL a man what to do or not to do, but if you pay attention to their body movements and hand movements you can tell if you are really pleasing them or if they want you to speed up, slow down, be more forceful, be more gentle, etc.

For God's sake, don't do what you see in the porno movies! Most women don't want a guy flicking his tongue faster than the speed of light! And don't focus just on the clitoris. In fact, leave the clitoris alone at first, licking and kissing the whole area AROUND it, and gently up & down the lips. GRADUALLY work into stimulating the clitoris. A lot of women find the stimulation way too intense if you home right in on the clitoris from the start, but after they relax from your oral ministrations around it, you can then begin to lick the clitoris directly. Start by licking in a circular pattern around the edge of the clitoris. Don't just go at it like you're flipping a light switch!

Several women have told me that inserting a finger into the vagina and then rubbing the G spot GENTLY back & forth while licking the clitoral area gives them the best oral sex sensations. While the woman is on her back, insert your finger with your hand "palm up" and then press the tip of your finger UP toward her abdomen and then work it back & forth as if you are giving the "come here" motion to someone with your finger.

Most of all, PAY ATTENTION to her motions and sounds. Is she trying to increase the pressure by thrusting upward, or decrease it by pulling away? If she's really enjoying it, you should hear at least some "oooohs" or soft moans. If you aren't hearing anything, and she isn't thrusting forward into you, it may be that she is NOT enjoying it.

I don't think I'd stop and ASK a woman if she likes it or what she does like in the middle of a play session. But maybe after you've gotten well acquainted after a few times together she'd be comfortable enough to have a discussion of preferences when you're not in bed together. Just initiating a discussion as 2 couples having a conversation about what makes oral sex good might make everyone feel free to talk about it at a time when they don't feel like they'd be telling you how awful you are at it right when you're doing it.

And PAY ATTENTION!

Just my thoughts.

Jim

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: An oral education: Teach me tonight