About men refraining from having orgasm during sex: Swingers Discussion 66997

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TOPIC: About men refraining from having orgasm during sex

Created by: content Original Starting post for this thread:
I couldn't see this topic discussed here in the Men Forum, so let me ask: have any of you guys ever practiced having sex (that is, with another person--masturbation doesn't count) but without reaching orgasm? I'm interested in hearing experiences of guys who have done this for more than for just one or two sex sessions. Like, during a period of your life, such as a few months at least. Or, maybe you are currently following this practice. I'm not really intested in the reasons why you do it, or did it (whether you practice Tantra or something else, or of your own initiative), but just in how it affects you and your feeling toward your woman (or women) over a period of time. I am more specifically interested in experiences of this behavior with the same woman. Could be your wife, or a girlfriend, or perhaps even a lady friend you've met through swinging. Or maybe you are a single guy with a few regular girlfriends, and you like to practice such a thing with one of them but not with all. I realize this is a little weird, and don't expect too many guys to know about this, but would love to hear the experience of those who have actually practiced this (I think some names for this include 'Coitus reservatus' and 'karezza'). Thanks, Mr. Content

Created by: content
Original Starting post for this thread:

I couldn't see this topic discussed here in the Men Forum, so let me ask: have any of you guys ever practiced having sex (that is, with another person--masturbation doesn't count) but without reaching orgasm? 

I'm interested in hearing experiences of guys who have done this for more than for just one or two sex sessions. Like, during a period of your life, such as a few months at least. Or, maybe you are currently following this practice.

I'm not really intested in the reasons why you do it, or did it (whether you practice Tantra or something else, or of your own initiative), but just in how it affects you and your feeling toward your woman (or women) over a period of time. I am more specifically interested in experiences of this behavior with the same woman. Could be your wife, or a girlfriend, or perhaps even a lady friend you've met through swinging. Or maybe you are a single guy with a few regular girlfriends, and you like to practice such a thing with one of them but not with all. 

I realize this is a little weird, and don't expect too many guys to know about this, but would love to hear the experience of those who have actually practiced this (I think some names for this include 'Coitus reservatus' and 'karezza').

Thanks,

Mr. Content

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User Details are only visible to members.	"not practiced. it's called teasing. I know it well...love to be teased but I hate to watch it happen infront of me. Makes me frustrated" What makes you frustrated? I haven't a clue as to what you are talking about in this respect.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome virgin poster Like2 to the forums.....bet you didn't know you could be a virgin at 60!! The first few times Mr. Sim did this technique I thought something was wrong. Eventually he explained it to me and I asked around and found out other husbands in his age bracket were doing the same thing. Women should be aware of this (especially the younger) when swinging. There have been a few youngins unaware of "olders" techniques and I'm listening in the room to this young lady being "serviced" by my husband and yelling "I want you to cum... you must cum for me.." over and over not knowing it wasn't going to happen because he wanted to keep playing in the evening with others. So women should never take it to heart if the man doesn't cum....it usually has nothing to do with them (the ladies).
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Wait until you get older..." As an "older" I can testify to the truth of Simbaxxx's comment. In my 60's it usually takes 2-3 days after an orgasm before sexual desire returns (but I do remember being a 15-minute man when I was 19 ;-). I fully enjoy sex without an orgasm and it leaves me ready and eager for more and, strangely, doesn't leave me frustrated which definitely would not have been true when I was younger (I remember "blue balls", too). I don't try to withhold my orgasm but sometimes it just isn't there particularly if I've had sex recently.
Grantham NH			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Such a heightened state of sexual arousal might be more fun for him..." Absolutely. Wait until you get older. Several of my girlfriends older husbands do exactly what you are talking about. They have sex a few times a week but hold back on having an orgasm because it keeps them in a continued heighten state of arousal. It seems with many older men, once they orgasm they aren't interested in sex for several days so they llike this continued arousal state. I've only noticed this being utilized by men in their 50's and older.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	...I thought I would address here the motivation for my question. Triple is basically saying that my question to the ladies is irrelevant (I asked them whether they would accept a long term sexual relationship with a man who refuses to orgasm) because no man in his right mind would actually refrain from coming. Briefly, a man could decide to use this strategy if it helps him maintain a very heightened state of sexual arousal and attraction toward the woman he has a relationship with. Such a heightened state of sexual arousal might be more fun for him, and it could also contribute to improve the quality of the relationship with his female lover. Basically he would be constantly adoring his woman. From his end, this would only be practical if he doesn't become frustrated by repeated sessions of sex without orgasm (that is, he finds those sessions satisfying despite the absence of orgasm). The scheme would also require the lady's acceptance, and from the responses in the Women Forum that doesn't seem to be realistic, at least for most women. Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	TripleTreat wrote in the "sister" thread on this subject in the Women Forum: --------------------------------------- Its funny...this question is just as "WTF" here, at it was in the male's section. I mean, come on. What male would refuse to cum for a woman (i.e...says that he always has sex that way?)...NO male always has sex that way...unless there is something very, very wrong with him, either mentally or physically. So the question is moot unless it tells us something about his state of mind or pending medical problems. To claim that this male "always has sex that way" makes the question irrelevant...because NO male has sex that way...that is "well". What female would put up with a male that refuses to cum? Again, the question is moot because I seriously doubt that any female would stay with a guy for long that does this (assuming there is nothing wrong with him, and that she is not already his spouse). Ask the question 100 more times...the answers will be the same. TT --------------------------------------- Continued in the next post...
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ms. Somlikithot, Your opinion here is very much welcome. You may also want to check out the question I posed in the women forum. The statement of the question there is slightly different. Feel free to add your perspective there too! Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Content- 1. The longest period that I have held off has been about a week. 2. During the period that I was refraining, my sex involved group sessions in which the men outnumbered the women (i.e., no 1-on-1s). 3. We did discuss the fact that I did not intend to cum, and explained that forebearance merely increases the intensity of my orgasm when I do cum. In summary, I would not deliberately refrain from cumming in a 1-on-1 unless my partner was OK with it. Many women take great satisfaction watching and feeling a man's ejaculation; others could care less. If I deliberately refrained from cumming with a woman who enjoys a man's ejaculation, she would have every right to be upset and not play with me again. It might be interesting the research the Ying and Yang history to learn of the attitude of women toward it. I suspect that it was prevalent in a society which considered women 2nd class citizens, so that their feelings were just disregarded. Do any erotica historians know?
Memphis TN			Username hidden (856 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Uriah, when you have gone long periods of time without cumming, did you have sex during those periods? If so, were the ladies supportive of your decision not to cum, or did this create tension? If not supportive, were they at least willing to accept it (meaning that they agreed to see you again, for example). What has been your experience (if any) when it comes to communicating this to women? I posted this question in the ladies forum and, predictably, the reaction so far has been uniformly against it. But one thing is to ask (and answer) a question in the abstract, and another one is to have a dialogue with a woman who is right there with you. I wonder if the women you've met were any more accepting of your decision, or were they just as likely to flat out reject it as are the women here in SLS who have replied so far?
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Some scholars of eastern thought follow the "Ying and Yang" principle of Confuscious. This is a belief that a man's forebearance from orgasm builds his inner strength, and that a man loses power when he ejaculates. So, many men go for long periods of time without cumming. I myself have experimented with this over the years, and can attest that there is a certain personal satisfaction from not cumming for a long period of time. It does build an incredible control over the timing of your orgasm. However, since most of my partners like to see and feel me cum, I don't practice it that much.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (856 post)

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