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Thoughts : Swingers Discussion 33496
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TOPIC: Thoughts
Created by: tbop007
Original Starting post for this thread:
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.

10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

13. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

14. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

17. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!

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LOL....I love #10

JoAnn

Tucson AZ
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(7691 posts)
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amen to everything brother

Dayton OH
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actually tbop it is: A friend will come bail you out of jail. A good friend will say "Damn that was fun" Your best friend will say "So what are we going to do next weekend?" :) Zo.

Fort Worth TX
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(1223 posts)
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1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.

10. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

13. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

14. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

17. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!

Olathe KS
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(14 posts)
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TOPIC: Thoughts