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FORUMS General Discussions Jokes and Funnies THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
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Told my blonde wife joke about alligator and man taking it into the bar. She did not get it. Had to explain it to her.

Springfield MO
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A blonde skeleton in the closet = last years hide and seek champion.

When my blonde stepson was about 10 years old I told him that I would be cutting the lawn later in the day. I said it would be greatly appreciated if he would pick up any sticks/branches or toys in the yard before I started cutting. Thirty minutes later I'm next door talking with my Dad and we start laughing at what we see. The little fella is picking up everything he comes upon, and then tosses it right over his shoulder, back unto the lawn.

This is the same kid that will stop, look both ways twice and carefully cross the road, when he is walking. Put him on a bicycle and he wont look once.

Brunswick GA
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What do you call it when a blonde, a bruntte and a redhead rae together?

Every man's dream.

Lake Wylie SC
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A Cajun walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar.He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then, the gator will close his mouth for one minute. Then, he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who 's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spokeup.......... "I'll try it if you promise not to hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"

Morgantown PA
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How blonde Is she? She was Soooooooo Blonde ... * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says, "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius." * She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * She sent a fax with a stamp on it. * Under "education" on her job application, she put, "Hooked On Phonics." * She tripped over a cordless phone. * She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." * She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." * She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. * She studied for a blood test. * She sold the car for gas money. * When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. * When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. * When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. * She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. * She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. * She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front." AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Gulf Breeze FL
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A very beautiful big breasted blonde goes into the casino with 50k and goes to the roulette table and told him she wanted to bet it all on one roll and only way she could do that is to be topless,,she felt lucky doing it topless. the manager said fine and she rolled and jumped up and down several times and screamed out "i won, i won" and grabbed the winnings and left,,,the manager asked the guy well what did she roll? he said hell i don't know....lol

Gulf Breeze FL
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SMART BLONDE JOKE A very beautiful blonde lives in New York and goes into a bank and tells the loan officer she wants to borrow 5K to go to Europe for two weeks. She tells the l.o. she has her car for collateral outside. He looks outside and sees a 250K Mercedes sitting out there. He said great and she signed the papers. Two weeks passes and she comes in to pay off the loan and he told her it would be 5K for the loan and $14.39 for the interest. And he said to her" Miss we checked your background and credit history while you were gone and you are a millionaire. Why would you borrow money from us to go on vacation.. She said.." where else can i park my mercedes in New York in a sercured parking lot for two weeks for $14.39....

Gulf Breeze FL
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This is a true story. A while back I had a watch with a pink band. I used to drive my car with my arm resting on the open window. I mentioned one day at work that the pink on the one side of the band was lighter than the other, probably due to the fact that I drove with my arm out side the car. A blonde co-worker asked me, "Why, did the color blow off?" It gave the rest of a good laugh for the day.

Medina OH
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What do you have when you hear VROOM SCREECH VROOM SCREECH VROOOOOM SCREEECH . . . . A Blond at a blinking red light

Manville NJ
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Subject: golf balls

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Morgantown PA
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(1437 posts)
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TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES