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THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES : Swingers Discussion 457961031
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsJokes and FunniesTHE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
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A Cajun walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar.He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then, the gator will close his mouth for one minute. Then, he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who 's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spokeup.......... "I'll try it if you promise not to hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"

Morgantown PA
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How blonde Is she? She was Soooooooo Blonde ... * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says, "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius." * She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * She sent a fax with a stamp on it. * Under "education" on her job application, she put, "Hooked On Phonics." * She tripped over a cordless phone. * She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." * She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." * She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. * She studied for a blood test. * She sold the car for gas money. * When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. * When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. * When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. * She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. * She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. * She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front." AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Gulf Breeze FL
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A very beautiful big breasted blonde goes into the casino with 50k and goes to the roulette table and told him she wanted to bet it all on one roll and only way she could do that is to be topless,,she felt lucky doing it topless. the manager said fine and she rolled and jumped up and down several times and screamed out "i won, i won" and grabbed the winnings and left,,,the manager asked the guy well what did she roll? he said hell i don't know....lol

Gulf Breeze FL
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SMART BLONDE JOKE A very beautiful blonde lives in New York and goes into a bank and tells the loan officer she wants to borrow 5K to go to Europe for two weeks. She tells the l.o. she has her car for collateral outside. He looks outside and sees a 250K Mercedes sitting out there. He said great and she signed the papers. Two weeks passes and she comes in to pay off the loan and he told her it would be 5K for the loan and $14.39 for the interest. And he said to her" Miss we checked your background and credit history while you were gone and you are a millionaire. Why would you borrow money from us to go on vacation.. She said.." where else can i park my mercedes in New York in a sercured parking lot for two weeks for $14.39....

Gulf Breeze FL
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This is a true story. A while back I had a watch with a pink band. I used to drive my car with my arm resting on the open window. I mentioned one day at work that the pink on the one side of the band was lighter than the other, probably due to the fact that I drove with my arm out side the car. A blonde co-worker asked me, "Why, did the color blow off?" It gave the rest of a good laugh for the day.

Medina OH
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What do you have when you hear VROOM SCREECH VROOM SCREECH VROOOOOM SCREEECH . . . . A Blond at a blinking red light

Manville NJ
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Subject: golf balls

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Morgantown PA
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An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde guy's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."

Indianapolis IN
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STAY A blonde pulled into a crowded parking lot . She walked to the curb backward, pointing her finger at her car and saying emphatically, Now you stay... Do you hear me?... Stay!.Stay!" The driver of a nearby car, noting that she was a blonde, gave her a strange look and said. "Why don't you just put it in park?"

Indianapolis IN
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7 degrees of Blonde:

FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said

"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife answered,

"I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant. "Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware"

SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

Brownwood TX
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TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES