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TOPIC: THE_BLONDE_JOKE_TO_END_ALL_BLONDE_JOKES_
Created by: Easternpacouple
Original Starting post for this thread:
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES.. A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, " ...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box".

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*"THE BLONDE AND THE COW"*

*A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.* *Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"........*** *The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man Arrives and knocks on the front door.*** *Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."*** *The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks,*** *"Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"* *"That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.*** *Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"*** *The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,*** *"I guess it's To hang your pants on."***

It's nice to see a blonde winning once in awhile

Thornton CO
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The blonde got fired from the M&M factory. For throwing away the Ws

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What does a blonde say after sex? You guys all on the same team.

Seffner FL
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How does a blond put the lights on after sex? She opens the car door OK STOP PICKING ON BLONDS

Ronkonkoma NY
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What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath.

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4 blondes riding in a pick up truck

2 in the cab, 2 in the truck bed.

The driver looses control and drives off the road and into the ocean.

only 2 survive Which 2?

The 2 in the cab... The 2 in the back couldnt get the tailgate down

A blonde woman is walking along a river bank and wants to cross to the other side.

Suddenly she sees another blonde girl walking toward her on the opposite river bank and yells "Hey, how can I get to the other side?"

The blonde girl yells back "Stupid Blonde, you ARE on the other side"

White Haven PA
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A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black s uit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

Anniston AL
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While vacationing in Sunny SC couple years back, I went to the scooter rental place. The guy was on the phone talking to some people, obviously renters of a vacation unit.

He hung up the phone and said to me, "Dang renters, locked themselves into the condo, I have go fix the door knob."

I said, "what were they blondes?"

He said, "No, they're from Ohio!"

Then he looked down at the Drivers' License and said, "Oh, sorry!"

Priceless! - Kind of a Blonde joke?

Jacksonville FL
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On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Pictou were Listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of Snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the Street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer Said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer Says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was Very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know What to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs Can get through?" Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are Married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just Leave the fucking car in the garage this time."

Tulare CA
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On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Pictou were Listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of Snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the Street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer Said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer Says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was Very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know What to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs Can get through?" Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are Married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just Leave the fucking car in the garage this time."

Tulare CA
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TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
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