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THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES : Swingers Discussion 45796
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsJokes and FunniesTHE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
Created by: Easternpacouple
Original Starting post for this thread:
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES.. A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, " ...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box".

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4 blondes riding in a pick up truck

2 in the cab, 2 in the truck bed.

The driver looses control and drives off the road and into the ocean.

only 2 survive Which 2?

The 2 in the cab... The 2 in the back couldnt get the tailgate down

A blonde woman is walking along a river bank and wants to cross to the other side.

Suddenly she sees another blonde girl walking toward her on the opposite river bank and yells "Hey, how can I get to the other side?"

The blonde girl yells back "Stupid Blonde, you ARE on the other side"

Plains PA
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A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black s uit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

Anniston AL
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While vacationing in Sunny SC couple years back, I went to the scooter rental place. The guy was on the phone talking to some people, obviously renters of a vacation unit.

He hung up the phone and said to me, "Dang renters, locked themselves into the condo, I have go fix the door knob."

I said, "what were they blondes?"

He said, "No, they're from Ohio!"

Then he looked down at the Drivers' License and said, "Oh, sorry!"

Priceless! - Kind of a Blonde joke?

Jacksonville FL
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On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Pictou were Listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of Snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the Street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer Said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer Says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was Very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know What to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs Can get through?" Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are Married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just Leave the fucking car in the garage this time."

Tulare CA
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On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Pictou were Listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of Snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the Street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer Said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through. "The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer Says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was Very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know What to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs Can get through?" Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are Married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just Leave the fucking car in the garage this time."

Tulare CA
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2 blondes sitting on a park bench, when one asks "What do you think is further, the moon or Florida". The other blonde responds, "Hellooo, you can see the moon"

Livingston NJ
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A beautiful blond is sitting at a bus stop listening to her ipod. A man comes up and sees her enjoying herself and ask if he can listen too. She says "no". "Why not?" he says she replies "If I take the headphones I'll die He thinks about it for a minute then grabs her headphones. She starts gagging and keels over dead. Shocked he calls the police and explains what happened. The cop ask "What was she listening to? "I don't know, when she died I didn't think to listen" handing the cop the headset. "Here, you listen" The cop does then arrests the man for murder. At his trial the cop explains what happened. The mans lawyer says "You never let him listen to the tape?" "No, but it proved he is guilty of killing her" The cop says "You're honor" the lawyer says "We would like to hear this evidence" "Very well" says the judge and they play the tape and as soon as he hears it the man changes his pled to guilty.

On the tape was....

"Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out...."

Davenport FL
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The blond and her husband go to bed one night and can not go to sleep because the dogs next door keep barking. Finally, at 3AM the blonde gets up and says"I am going to fix this" The husband is worried and she will not tell him her plan. A few minutes later the dogs are barking louder than ever. When she returns to the bedroom he asked her," what did she do"? Her reply." I put them in our backyard lets see how they like it"!

Bethel OH
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What do you call a blond with a IQ of 140? A golden retriever.

Tulare CA
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Just in time for College Footballs Season........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept s creaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like... Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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TOPIC: THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES