Puns: Swingers Discussion 160134

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TOPIC: Puns

Created by: fundamentallaw Original Starting post for this thread:
These were sent to us today. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Those who jump from a bridge in Paris are in Seine. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under. Every calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done. Feel free to add....!

Created by: fundamentallaw
Original Starting post for this thread:

These were sent to us today. 

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
 
Those who jump from a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
 
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
 
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
 
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
 
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
 
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
 
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
 
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
 
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
 
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
 
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
 
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
 
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
 
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
 
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
 
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
 
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
 
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
 
Every calendar's days are numbered.
 
A lot of money is tainted -  taint yours and taint mine.
 
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
 
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
 
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
 
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
 
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
 
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
 
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 Feel free to add....!

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User Details are only visible to members.	In high school, my sister was a really goody-two-shoes type, which is why I was so surprised to see her smoking pot behind the barn one day. I walked up and grabbed it out of her mouth and said, "What's a joint like this doing in a nice girl like you? Same sister, on her 16th birthday, got a check for $50 from our grandmother. She asked me if she should put it in the bank or buy a new outfit. I told her to put it wherever it will draw the most interest. My wife and I were watching TV one evening, and we saw Alex Trebeck in a commercial for insurance. My wife wondered why he was moonlighting doing commercials, and I said maybe it's because his other job is in jeopardy.
Fresno CA			Username hidden (7 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	These were sent to us today. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Those who jump from a bridge in Paris are in Seine. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under. Every calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done. Feel free to add....!
Atlanta GA			Username hidden (386 post)

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TOPIC: Puns