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TOPIC: Old_Hawaiian_family_values
Created by: hapci534
Original Starting post for this thread:
In ancient Hawaii if a man and a woman had a roll in the hay, that was fine. It was only considered sinful for a man and a woman to eat together. (What would *you* rather pick?) Did you ever wonder how would our world look like had these family values prevailed?

Barney Frank would be caught running a restaurant in DC, for one. Shops selling porn videos of the Cooking Channel would multiply. The main drags of state capitals would be full of fast food wagons after 10pm. Girls would pretend they never ate and boys would pretend they aren't hungry like a wolf. You'd be expected to be monovorous, to eat the same one entry for life. You could announce your plate choice in a big cathedral (you want friars with that?) during a very moving celebration... after uttering the  "I do"... a grand wedding party would follow where the whole public would make love. Swinger joints would open on every corner. The biggest fast fling chain would be McDonalds, offering the McLibido for 66 cents including shower ("I'm loving it") and KFC with their "Lovin' made just the way you like". Drug usage would hit the rock bottom as it would be cheaper to spend 66 cents at McDonalds to get light-headed. The US population would be hit with an epidemic of fitness.

The typical date would consist of sex, after which you *might* get some food. Single guys would pin to their walls pictures of chick breasts of the poultry variety. The clergy would quietly sign up to Weight Watchers. Mail carriers would collect sex for the needy in a National Sex Drive. California would overturn the federal double sausage sandwich ban. People headed for work in the morning would stop at Starbucks for a cup of squeezed lime juice to wipe their wide lingering grins off.

Bill Clinton would face questioning for not sleeping with enough women. Also for eating various foods, to which he would answer that he only chewed but didn't swallow. 12,000 new laws would be enacted to curtail free eating. The internet would be 80% food pictures, mostly drooled over by lawmakers. And the few and the brave who just giggle on silly taboos would organize potlucks through a web site called CookLifeStyle ("Start your balanced diet").

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In ancient Hawaii if a man and a woman had a roll in the hay, that was fine. It was only considered sinful for a man and a woman to eat together. (What would *you* rather pick?) Did you ever wonder how would our world look like had these family values prevailed?

Barney Frank would be caught running a restaurant in DC, for one. Shops selling porn videos of the Cooking Channel would multiply. The main drags of state capitals would be full of fast food wagons after 10pm. Girls would pretend they never ate and boys would pretend they aren't hungry like a wolf. You'd be expected to be monovorous, to eat the same one entry for life. You could announce your plate choice in a big cathedral (you want friars with that?) during a very moving celebration... after uttering the  "I do"... a grand wedding party would follow where the whole public would make love. Swinger joints would open on every corner. The biggest fast fling chain would be McDonalds, offering the McLibido for 66 cents including shower ("I'm loving it") and KFC with their "Lovin' made just the way you like". Drug usage would hit the rock bottom as it would be cheaper to spend 66 cents at McDonalds to get light-headed. The US population would be hit with an epidemic of fitness.

The typical date would consist of sex, after which you *might* get some food. Single guys would pin to their walls pictures of chick breasts of the poultry variety. The clergy would quietly sign up to Weight Watchers. Mail carriers would collect sex for the needy in a National Sex Drive. California would overturn the federal double sausage sandwich ban. People headed for work in the morning would stop at Starbucks for a cup of squeezed lime juice to wipe their wide lingering grins off.

Bill Clinton would face questioning for not sleeping with enough women. Also for eating various foods, to which he would answer that he only chewed but didn't swallow. 12,000 new laws would be enacted to curtail free eating. The internet would be 80% food pictures, mostly drooled over by lawmakers. And the few and the brave who just giggle on silly taboos would organize potlucks through a web site called CookLifeStyle ("Start your balanced diet").

Honolulu HI
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TOPIC: Old Hawaiian family values

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