New Oaths of Enlistment For All Branches: Swingers Discussion 122025

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TOPIC: New Oaths of Enlistment For All Branches

Created by: sweetbutt77 Original Starting post for this thread:
U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that atleast twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts during the worst of natures storms, and recieve no thanks or notice form the public. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.! I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as "salty" because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD. ____________________ Signature ____________________ Date US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!" ____________________ Signature ____________________ Date

Created by: sweetbutt77
Original Starting post for this thread:

U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that atleast twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts during the worst of natures storms, and recieve no thanks or notice form the public. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.! I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as "salty" because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD. 

____________________
Signature
____________________
Date 

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!" 

____________________
Signature
____________________
Date

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User Details are only visible to members.	My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
Spencer TN			Username hidden (6438 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	First off I want to say that I myself, my brother-in-law and grandfather all served in the Army. Next my uncle served in the Navy and my sister is currently serving in the Air Force and just got home last month from a God forsaken place called Qater. So I come from a long line and well served military family. IMHO I thought the original post was funny. But I do understand there are some so called "Red-Blooded Americans" that hasn't been in our "Boots" would find it offensive. I do appologise for your loss but please lighten as we who has been there do. Yes we do joke around with each other between the branches but we all know at the end of the day we are all fighting on the same side. Now Redhead that post was funny. Now hears another rib on the squids. Yes my uncle (may God rest his soul) was my favorite target for ribbing. Here goes the joke. You know for every 100 men that goes down in a sub 50 couples come up. Now that's funny there and those who doesn't like it you can kiss my ass.
Lake City FL			Username hidden (38 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ex-Air Force here. I thought they were pretty funny and it's too bad some may be offended by them but that's their right.
Nashua NH			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Seeing as I NEVER implied that I was, your need to point that out was? Oh right, a chance to be hurtful, just as in other posts, choosing to be insulting by calling me names.
Niagara Falls NY			Username hidden (1262 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Loved them, kind of reminds me of the one about the different services saying this is the shit. If I can find it, I'll post it. Former Air Force from an Army family with way too many current and former Navy brother in laws :)
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You think you are the only one who lost family or friends in the service?
Spencer TN			Username hidden (6438 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I guess when you have had a dear family member die while serving their country, It loses some of it's humor.
Niagara Falls NY			Username hidden (1262 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well I did serve. Ex Navy here, and I thought that was funny as shit. Also an acurate representation as to how the different services view one another. Thank You for the laugh. I bet I will not be the only ex service member to find it funny. By the way do you know why the Navy carries Marines on all vessels? Because the sheep was way to obvious.
Tallahassee FL			Username hidden (302 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Reduced to name-calling, how mature.
Niagara Falls NY			Username hidden (1262 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Whatever, troll
Spencer TN			Username hidden (6438 post)

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TOPIC: New Oaths of Enlistment For All Branches

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