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TOPIC: Jokes_and_Funnies_feel_free_to_add_your_own
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Little boy has diarrhea and tells his mom he needs viagra

Mom replies " What the hell for?"

Boy replies "Isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"

Lewisville NC
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I first heard that when Meg Ryan told it to Dennis Quaid in "D.O.A.".

Windermere FL
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What do the female reindeer do on Christmas Eve while the males are pulling Santa's sleigh??

They go into town and blow a few bucks!!

Lewisville NC
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Open wide for chunky!

Hanford CA
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I think my neighbors were eating candy bars last night. All night I could hear her saying, "Oh Henry!, Oh Henry!"

Hanford CA
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Now that is funny.

North Port FL
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I like that one VA

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.” -

Lewisville NC
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I saw this woman wearing a shirt that said "Guess"

I said "Implants?"

Bitch hit me!

Windermere FL
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Fidel Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed.

America: Donald Trump is our new president.

Fidel Castro: Well then.....

San Diego CA
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@Kelly good one!

How do you get pie out of the carpet? Have her shave the carpet.

Rialto CA
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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