Help
FORUMS › General Discussions › Jokes and Funnies › Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
TOPIC: Jokes_and_Funnies_feel_free_to_add_your_own
« Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  ... 69  Next »
31 to 40 of 686
User Details are only visible to members.
Do yo know why I love having sex with 23 yr olds?

Because ....there is twenty of them.

Hmm

Louisville KY
Username hidden
(1 post)
User Details are only visible to members.
What does a 9volt battery and a asshole have in common?...............you know its wrong but you still want to put your tongue on it anyways...

Calhoun GA
Username hidden
(91 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

LITTLE KEVIN SAYS: "I WANNA START OUT AS A MARINE PILOT, THEN BE A BILLIONAIRE, GO TO THE MOST EXPENSIVE CLUBS, FIND ME THE FINEST WHORE, GIVE HER A FERRARI WORTH OVER A MILLION BUCKS, AN APARTMENT IN COPACABANA, A MANSION IN PARIS, A JET TO TRAVEL THROUGHOUT EUROPE, AN INFINITE VISA CARD, AND ALL THE WHILE BANGING HER LIKE A LOOSE SCREEN DOOR IN A HURRICANE."

THE TEACHER, SHOCKED, AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH THIS HORRIBLE RESPONSE FROM LITTLE KEVIN, DECIDES NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HE SAID AND SIMPLY TRIES TO CONTINUE WITH THE LESSON . . . .

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Kevin's whore."

Anniston AL
Username hidden
(5501 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
kibblesnbits..stole yours. Thx.

Acworth GA
Username hidden
(7 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A book fell on Sean Connery's head. When asked for comment, he said:

"I can only blame my shelf...."

Windermere FL
Username hidden
(25107 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I was reading a story in the newspaper that said that 3,782,127 people got married last year and my first thought was "schould thatnot to have been an even number

Socorro TX
Username hidden
(32 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I was at an Irish wedding on Sat. during the reception the DJ asked all the men in the room to stand and go be with the one person in the room that made their life worth living.

This Thursday I am going to be attending the bar tenders funeral.

Mohnton PA
Username hidden
(94 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
While at an Italian restaurant, the waitress asked if I wanted "extra virgin olive oil" with... whatever I was having.

I replied "No thanks. I'd rather have olive oil that knows what it's doing."

My mother in law laughed hysterically, but the waitress didn't seem to think it was funny at all.

Windermere FL
Username hidden
(25107 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Here's one my elderly aunt shared with me:

During a long day of looking around Cabela’s, a couple of my friends and I stopped in at ‘Hooter's for some Hot Wings and drinks. After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with. I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators." I'm old, tired, and have to pee a lot.

Sheboygan Falls WI
Username hidden
(11445 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Easternpacouple : I love that. Awesome. I put an abbreviated and somewhat more g-rated version on facebook today and everyone loves it. Here it is in case anyone wants to be lazy and copy/paste.

An Irish woman at the doctor complains about her husband's ailing libido. He suggests Viagra, but she says "No... he'll never take that".

"Why don't you try Irish Viagra?" he says "You drop it in his coffee. He'll never know."

So the next time she goes to her doctor, she tells him what happened.

"Oh no, it was terrible. It worked almost immediately. He stood up, ripped my clothes off, and made love to me right there on the table."

"I don't understand...." the doctor asked her "didn't you enjoy it?"

"Oh hell yes." she replied "But I'll never be able to show my face at Starbucks again."

Windermere FL
Username hidden
(25107 posts)
« Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  ... 69  Next »
31 to 40 of 686
TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
This site does not contain sexually explicit images as defined in 18 U.S.C. 2256.
Accordingly, neither this site nor the contents contained herein are covered by the record-keeping provisions of 18 USC 2257(a)-(c).
Disclaimer: This website contains adult material. You must be over 18 to enter or 21 where applicable by law.
All Members are over 18 years of age.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy
 
Copyright © 1998-2016 DashBoardHosting, LLC. All Rights Reserved.