Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions Jokes and Funnies Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
GoTo Page: Less ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ... More 
Start   22 to 31 of 659   End
User Details are only visible to members.
A guy walks into an opticle store to get his eyes checked. As he is waiting he looks around the store. In the middle of the room is a glass case with one pair of ordinary looking glasses in them with a price tag of $ 28,000.36.

The man asked the clerk about the high price of the specs.

"Oh those are special glasses sir," the clerk says, " anyone you look at while wearing these glasses will apear naked to you."

Not believing this, the guy asks to try them on and when he does, everyone in the store is buck naked!

He immediately buys them, because in these jokes, everyone is rich!

He cant wait to get home and show his wife his new glasses.

He gets to his front door, Puts on the glasses and swings open the door to find his wife and his best friend naked on the couch.

He stares at them naked, He takes off the glasses and they are still naked, Puts the specs on and takes them off a few more times only to see them still naked.

Angrily, the throws the glasses to the floor and yells, " Jesus H. Swartz! I just bought these damn things 30 min. ago and they are already busted!

Plains PA
Username hidden
(127 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Know the difference between a rooster and a nympho? Rooster says "cock a doodle doo" nympho says "any cock'll do"

Mcallen TX
Username hidden
(10732 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
glad I read that before lunch. Helps me keep my svelte figure.

Danville VT
Username hidden
(7484 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
lol reminds me of a birdie mail I got last year. Dude said something to the effect that when his granny took her teeth out it was really something special.

Mcallen TX
Username hidden
(10732 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I LOVE older women, but eeewwwww!

Boston MA
Username hidden
(8979 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A beautiful 50-something woman was living it up in a wild club, dancing and enjoying the night. She found herself drawn into a rather risqué dance with a gorgeous younger man, and when they were done the sexual tension was nearly palpable. Deciding that they needed to cool down, the pair went to the bar for a drink. One drink quickly turned into two, and then three, and then four. They were getting along fabulously, so the young man was no surprised when she asked him to go home with her and he quickly agreed. On the way to her home, she was all over him. Kissing up his neck, she whispered into his ear "Have you ever had a threesome with a mother and daughter before?" surprised, he quickly answered "No!" Sliding her hand teasingly up his thigh, she murmured against his lips "Would you like to?" His mind went wild! If the mom was this hot, the daughter must really be something. He couldn't wait to see her, and so he nodded his agreement. She smiled when they arrived, drawing him from the car and into her house. As she lead him up the stairs, she threw a wink over her shoulder and called "Mom, are you still awake? I brought you something. Your teeth are in the glass by the phone."

Winter Garden FL
Username hidden
(20528 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A young boy asks his Dad: Dad what is in between Moms legs?

Dad: Paradise son!

Boy: What is in between your legs Dad?

Dad: The key to paradise son.

Boy: Well you better change your key because the Postman has a duplicate key.

Houston TX
Username hidden
(86 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

Yes I stole that!!

Houston TX
Username hidden
(86 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,

"Not an excuse, write with your other hand."

San Antonio TX
Username hidden
(7570 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A Republican man in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. He looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Budweiser?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there? The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give him a cold beer. "On my tab," he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt strength come back into his legs, got up, and walked out the door, thankful to Jesus.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening, and grateful to the Lord, he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and walked out the door.

Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling. (I don't care what party you like, this one's funny!) The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me...I'm collecting disability."

Shamokin PA
Username hidden
(1123 posts)
GoTo Page: Less ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ... More 
Start   22 to 31 of 659   End
TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own