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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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What does M Jackson and J C Pennies have in common? They both have little boys panys half off.

Vicksburg MS
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A guy walks into an opticle store to get his eyes checked. As he is waiting he looks around the store. In the middle of the room is a glass case with one pair of ordinary looking glasses in them with a price tag of $ 28,000.36.

The man asked the clerk about the high price of the specs.

"Oh those are special glasses sir," the clerk says, " anyone you look at while wearing these glasses will apear naked to you."

Not believing this, the guy asks to try them on and when he does, everyone in the store is buck naked!

He immediately buys them, because in these jokes, everyone is rich!

He cant wait to get home and show his wife his new glasses.

He gets to his front door, Puts on the glasses and swings open the door to find his wife and his best friend naked on the couch.

He stares at them naked, He takes off the glasses and they are still naked, Puts the specs on and takes them off a few more times only to see them still naked.

Angrily, the throws the glasses to the floor and yells, " Jesus H. Swartz! I just bought these damn things 30 min. ago and they are already busted!

Plains PA
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Know the difference between a rooster and a nympho? Rooster says "cock a doodle doo" nympho says "any cock'll do"

Mcallen TX
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glad I read that before lunch. Helps me keep my svelte figure.

Danville VT
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lol reminds me of a birdie mail I got last year. Dude said something to the effect that when his granny took her teeth out it was really something special.

Mcallen TX
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I LOVE older women, but eeewwwww!

Boston MA
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A beautiful 50-something woman was living it up in a wild club, dancing and enjoying the night. She found herself drawn into a rather risqué dance with a gorgeous younger man, and when they were done the sexual tension was nearly palpable. Deciding that they needed to cool down, the pair went to the bar for a drink. One drink quickly turned into two, and then three, and then four. They were getting along fabulously, so the young man was no surprised when she asked him to go home with her and he quickly agreed. On the way to her home, she was all over him. Kissing up his neck, she whispered into his ear "Have you ever had a threesome with a mother and daughter before?" surprised, he quickly answered "No!" Sliding her hand teasingly up his thigh, she murmured against his lips "Would you like to?" His mind went wild! If the mom was this hot, the daughter must really be something. He couldn't wait to see her, and so he nodded his agreement. She smiled when they arrived, drawing him from the car and into her house. As she lead him up the stairs, she threw a wink over her shoulder and called "Mom, are you still awake? I brought you something. Your teeth are in the glass by the phone."

Winter Garden FL
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A young boy asks his Dad: Dad what is in between Moms legs?

Dad: Paradise son!

Boy: What is in between your legs Dad?

Dad: The key to paradise son.

Boy: Well you better change your key because the Postman has a duplicate key.

Houston TX
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What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

Yes I stole that!!

Houston TX
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A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,

"Not an excuse, write with your other hand."

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own