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TOPIC: Jokes_and_Funnies_feel_free_to_add_your_own
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Two Jewish men go to Mexico for a vacation and walk into a restaurant to get something to eat. As they sit down the one man asked the other if he thought with so many Jewish people in the world wouldn’t you think there would be Mexican Jews.

The other man looks at him and says, yes I would think there should be lots of Mexican Jews in Mexico. Let’s ask the waiter replied the man. Oh waiter, we have a question to ask you. Do you have any Mexican Jews here?

The waiter replies, please wait and I’ll ask the cook. Minutes pass and the waiter comes back and tells them no we don’t.

That’s hard to believe says the one man to the other. You must be mistaken. The waiter says that he will ask again.

The one man looks at the other and says with so many Jews In the world he has to be wrong. The other man agreed.

The waiter comes back and tells them that the cook said, We have Orange Juice, Grape Juice, Tomato Juice but, No Mexican Juice..

Somerset PA
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Awful, but I laughed.

One man talking to his friend:

You know, I think my wife might be dead.

DEAD?

Yeah. The sex is the same but the dishes are piling up.

Windermere FL
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Lol

Windermere FL
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Late Night Vet Call... Her dog was in heat, but she agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog, while the neighbor was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although, it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked for me," he replied.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backward?

A receding hare line.

Oak Ridge NC
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What is the difference between a 1st class stamp vs. A prostitute stamp????????

A regular stamp costs 0.49 cents, while a prostitute stamp costs 1.00 when licked.

Yeah yeah corny but I just heard this outside a 7-11 when I walked by a bunch of young kids eating and drinking out front.

Nokomis FL
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@Sorillo, just for you handsome:

What do you call an endowed puppet?

Well strung

Oak Ridge NC
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funny, KJ

. . . when it's soft you can't beat it and when it's hard you get fucked.

Danville VT
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@Cumm loved it

@Inlove....tsk tsk tsk bahahahaha

Life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely . . .then a woman makes it hard. ba-dum-bum-CHING

Oak Ridge NC
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A blonde and a brunette share office space. One Friday the brunette is delivered a mind boggling arrangement of beautiful flowers, obviously having cost hundreds of dollars along with a note which read "to the sexiest woman I know".

"OMG", gushed the blonde, "you must be sooo pleased!"

"Yes," replied the brunette, "they are very nice."

"Very nice?" said the blonde. "You certainly don't sound all that impressed."

"Well, they really are nice, but I know what they mean. Looks like I will be spending another weekend with my ankles behind my neck."

"Damn, girl", exclaimed the blonde. "You need to get yourself a vase!"

Danville VT
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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