Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own: Swingers Discussion 8761810191

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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own

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User Details are only visible to members.	This guy was sitting at home alone when he heard a knock on the front door. There were two sheriffs deputies there. He asked them if there was a problem. One of the deputies asked if he was married and if he could see a picture of his wife. The guy says "sure " and shows him a picture of his wife. The sheriff says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck." The guy says, " I know, but she has a great personality, and is a good cook too."
Emeryville CA			Username hidden (12140 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	How do you get 99 old ladies to say "fuck" at the same time? Yell "Bingo!"
New Kensington PA			Username hidden (2138 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Two guys are watching a game, drinking beer and start talking about sex. The topic turns to the correct name of the area in the crotch between a mans dick and his asshole. One guy is arguing it is called the runway. The other guys is saying it is called the taint. The one guys wife walks in and asks them if they need any beer. Honey the husband asks: What is the area between a dick and an asshole called? The wife glances back and forth then says: It's called a coffee table.
Tulare CA			Username hidden (1881 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	What NOT To Wear As You Get Older; 1. A nose ring and bifocals. 2. Spiked hair and bald spots. 3. A pierced tongue and dentures. 4. Miniskirts and support hose. 5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads. 6. Speedo's and cellulite. 7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar. 8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor. 9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge. 10. Bikinis and liver spots, 11. Short shorts and varicose veins. 12. Inline skates and a walker. 13. Thongs and Depends. And the ultimate "Bad Taste" in fashion for the "Older Folks" -- 14. Pierced Nipples that hang below the waist.
Farmington MN			Username hidden (44 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny. said to his wife"perhaps we should start washing your clothes in slim fast, maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt." his wife was not amused and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning that husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer." What the heck is this?" He said to himself as a little dust cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April" he hollered into the bathroom " why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She replied with a snicker "It's not talcum powder it's miracle grow"
Farmington MN			Username hidden (44 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	What has four legs and one arm? A pit bull at recess.
New Kensington PA			Username hidden (2138 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver? Because she was a woman.
New Kensington PA			Username hidden (2138 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	the guy told me that women was a whore, I said why is that, he said,she haves f##k every body in town.I said that a lie, she hasn't f##k me yet...dud..bububye
Kingston TN			Username hidden (1928 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The Haircut One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I Cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The Florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, The barber again replied,' I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing Community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a thank You card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his Bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing Community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the Shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the Citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
Emeryville CA			Username hidden (12140 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. It is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven, and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression. Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you was a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared!
Emeryville CA			Username hidden (12140 post)

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