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The Irish Funeral: A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My wife's." 'What happened to her?" "She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied, "Get in line."

Emeryville CA
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I 'am very bad when it comes to relationship it seems women alway want to argue.to wit,I walk in to a bar and this woman kept looking at me,I thought I would be stright up and ask her what she wanted,so I said "due want to fuck" and she said " your place or mine", see I didn't know her for ten seconds and she wants to argue......don't keep you head under the sheets when the gas is being pasted out.......BS

Kingston TN
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weekend was boring

ass is not

Danville VT
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RDY, I have to protest. It's just plain not fair when a gorgeous, sexy woman with breasts like yours, wearing a shirt down off her shoulder like your picture says "Tee Hee". It embarrasses guys like me at work.

Danville VT
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HOW TO START A FIGHT

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Emeryville CA
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. . . or maybe it indicates to the contrary

Danville VT
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The first testicular guard, the "cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

San Antonio TX
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I'll bite who's there?

Dover NJ
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who's there?

Danville VT
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Overcoming Depression After suffering from severe depression, both my wife and I decided to commit suicide yesterday.

Strangely enough after she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better and thought.

What the Hell! I'll try to make a go of it!

Yucaipa CA
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