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Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own : Swingers Discussion 8761810181
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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Thanks for the compliment.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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true. we don't even have local police in our town. Just the State Troopers. Then again, everybody knows everybody, so not much happens. Nice pic, btw.

Danville VT
 
 
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Funny but sadly true , over worked police !

LOL Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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great one, Mrs. Sav. really funny

Danville VT
 
 
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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. Phillip Hewitson, an elderly man, from Norwich UK, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Phillip opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." Phillip said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up. Within five minutes, Six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Hewitson`s' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to Phillip, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" Phillip said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" ( Don't mess with old folks. LOL

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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President Obama asked a blonde, brunette, and a red head how much it would cost to have sex with them.The red head says 200.00 dollars .The blonde says 100.00 dollars. The brunette replied "Mr President if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my panties as low as my wages, get your dick as hard as the times we are living in now & keep it rising like gas prices and screw me the way you have the rest of Americia, it won't cost you a fucking cent.

Somerset PA
 
 
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Vodka and ice can cause kidney problems.

Rum and ice can cause liver damage.

Whiskey and ice is dangerous if you are pregnant.

Gin and ice kills brain cells.

Conclusion: Ice is VERY bad for you.

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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Why did Miss Piggy use a vinegar and honey douche? Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork. badum tshhh!!!!

Jackson MI
 
 
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A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Texas State Trooper walked up to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, Hey handsome ... you gonna sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball? He replied, Texas State Troopers don't have balls. There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

Farmington MN
 
 
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Mickey and Mini Mouse decided to get a divorce. They go to court and each tells the judge their side of the story. The judge listens and at the end turns to Mini and says 'You don't look crazy?' Mickey stands up and says 'I didn't say she was crazy! I said she was *effing* Goofy!

Emeryville CA
 
 
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own