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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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HOW TO START A FIGHT

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Emeryville CA
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. . . or maybe it indicates to the contrary

Danville VT
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The first testicular guard, the "cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

San Antonio TX
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I'll bite who's there?

Livingston NJ
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who's there?

Danville VT
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Overcoming Depression After suffering from severe depression, both my wife and I decided to commit suicide yesterday.

Strangely enough after she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better and thought.

What the Hell! I'll try to make a go of it!

Yucaipa CA
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OK Knock Knock

Yucaipa CA
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I have a good knock knock joke. You start it.

Danville VT
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A husband returns home to find his wife in bed with a naked man.

"What are you doing???", he shouts.

The wife replies to her lover, "I told you he was stupid!"

San Antonio TX
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HOW TO START A FIGHT

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started.

Emeryville CA
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own