115
Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own : Swingers Discussion 8761810131
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsJokes and FunniesJokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
GoTo Page: Less ... 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 ... More 
Start   131 to 140 of 653   End
User Details are only visible to members.
I'm not saying "let's kill all the stupid people". I'm saying remove all the warning labels on everything. The problem will sort itself out soon enough.

Chesapeake VA
Username hidden
(18794 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
LOL

Mounted Coast Guard.

Chesapeake VA
Username hidden
(18794 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
My candidate just lost in Wisconsin's recall election. We will move on, hopefully in a more productive way. The following article indicates how upset so many people are here. Enjoy! ;-)

CANADA BRACING FOR MASSIVE INFLUX OF WISCONSIN BOAT PEOPLE

OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of boat people from Wisconsin.

Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a “substantial flotilla” in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.

“Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here,” Mr. McGlindon said. “You can’t blame these boat people for seeking a better life. But we are under orders to intercept them.”

In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called “anchor babies” on Canadian soil.

Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superior’s northern shore.

“We are telling all of our men that under no circumstances should they accept offerings of cheese,” he said. ”These boat people are desperate and they will try anything.”

Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.

Speaking at the state capitol, Gov. Walker seemed philosophical about his legacy: “I’m not worried how history will remember me, because if I have my way there won’t be any history teachers.”

Sheboygan Falls WI
Username hidden
(8745 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
what do you get when you mix human dna with goat dna.........

kicked out of the petting zoo...:o)

West Fargo ND
Username hidden
(56 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
What are the last words of a redneck?

"Watch this" or "Y'all check this out"

Chesapeake VA
Username hidden
(18794 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Three couples – one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed – apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We're not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."

Emeryville CA
Username hidden
(12204 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs in a row?

One is a Goodyear, the other is a very good year!

Bethesda MD
Username hidden
(8 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A son asks his dad "What's the difference between theory and reality?". He instructs his son to ask both his mom and sister if they would have sex with any given man for $500,000. The son come back and tells his dad that they both said yes. The dad then tells his son "This perfectly illustrates the difference. In theory, we could be millionares. In reality, we're living with a couple of whores."

Toledo OH
Username hidden
(1408 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Emeryville CA
Username hidden
(12204 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
And two more:

A Night With "The Girls" The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted.

The teacher's assignment The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess. " What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story, don't count your chickens before they're hatched." "That was a fine story, Sarah." "Michael, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.

Hope you enjoyed them

Ukiah CA
Username hidden
(12 posts)
GoTo Page: Less ... 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 ... More 
Start   131 to 140 of 653   End
TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own