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TOPIC: Jokes_and_Funnies_feel_free_to_add_your_own
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Lol

Windermere FL
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Late Night Vet Call... Her dog was in heat, but she agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog, while the neighbor was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although, it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked for me," he replied.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backward?

A receding hare line.

Lewisville NC
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What is the difference between a 1st class stamp vs. A prostitute stamp????????

A regular stamp costs 0.49 cents, while a prostitute stamp costs 1.00 when licked.

Yeah yeah corny but I just heard this outside a 7-11 when I walked by a bunch of young kids eating and drinking out front.

Nokomis FL
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@Sorillo, just for you handsome:

What do you call an endowed puppet?

Well strung

Lewisville NC
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funny, KJ

. . . when it's soft you can't beat it and when it's hard you get fucked.

Danville VT
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@Cumm loved it

@Inlove....tsk tsk tsk bahahahaha

Life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely . . .then a woman makes it hard. ba-dum-bum-CHING

Lewisville NC
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A blonde and a brunette share office space. One Friday the brunette is delivered a mind boggling arrangement of beautiful flowers, obviously having cost hundreds of dollars along with a note which read "to the sexiest woman I know".

"OMG", gushed the blonde, "you must be sooo pleased!"

"Yes," replied the brunette, "they are very nice."

"Very nice?" said the blonde. "You certainly don't sound all that impressed."

"Well, they really are nice, but I know what they mean. Looks like I will be spending another weekend with my ankles behind my neck."

"Damn, girl", exclaimed the blonde. "You need to get yourself a vase!"

Danville VT
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The pilot on a flight announces to the three female passengers to prepare for an emergency landing at sea. One starts putting on her jewelry, the other two ask why and she says we'll gold shines so they will find me, so the other starts to put on her jewelry which is diamonds saying well diamonds shine more than gold so they will find me first, the last one starts taking off her clothes and the others ask why and she replied, well they will find me since they always look for the black box first.

Abbeville SC
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@ThePacked nice first post, might as well cop a squat and stay a while

I call him the devil, because he makes me want to sin. Sometimes an angel just has to get her halo dirty.

Lewisville NC
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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