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TOPIC: Jokes_and_Funnies_feel_free_to_add_your_own
Created by: DestinFlCp
Original Starting post for this thread:
Rick is in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him " Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! "

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway . Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him

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Off I go to get ready for a new week since I just got my chuckle of the day AND my smh moment. I love when people troll around and look for trolls to point out to everyone else, that person is a troll. Honey, when YOU block someone, you are technically saying I don't want to see that person's post, I don't want to read what they have to say , I want that person out of my thoughts and mind. And yet YOU continue to troll around and post about them, under the guise of "giving advice". How did you find out what they were saying? Lol....we all know. And remember, YOU don't want to read THEIR posts....they are under no obligation or contract not to comment on yours. We all know you couldn't take the heat so you ran and hid instead of making valid points. But keep on trolling by all means. Everyone gets a good laugh when we all have that "trolls that have been blocked party!

~lady~

Alpharetta GA
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Two Jewish men go to Mexico for a vacation and walk into a restaurant to get something to eat. As they sit down the one man asked the other if he thought with so many Jewish people in the world wouldn’t you think there would be Mexican Jews.

The other man looks at him and says, yes I would think there should be lots of Mexican Jews in Mexico. Let’s ask the waiter replied the man. Oh waiter, we have a question to ask you. Do you have any Mexican Jews here?

The waiter replies, please wait and I’ll ask the cook. Minutes pass and the waiter comes back and tells them no we don’t.

That’s hard to believe says the one man to the other. You must be mistaken. The waiter says that he will ask again.

The one man looks at the other and says with so many Jews In the world he has to be wrong. The other man agreed.

The waiter comes back and tells them that the cook said, We have Orange Juice, Grape Juice, Tomato Juice but, No Mexican Juice..

Somerset PA
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Awful, but I laughed.

One man talking to his friend:

You know, I think my wife might be dead.

DEAD?

Yeah. The sex is the same but the dishes are piling up.

Windermere FL
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Lol

Windermere FL
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Late Night Vet Call... Her dog was in heat, but she agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog, while the neighbor was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although, it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked for me," he replied.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backward?

A receding hare line.

Oak Ridge NC
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What is the difference between a 1st class stamp vs. A prostitute stamp????????

A regular stamp costs 0.49 cents, while a prostitute stamp costs 1.00 when licked.

Yeah yeah corny but I just heard this outside a 7-11 when I walked by a bunch of young kids eating and drinking out front.

Nokomis FL
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@Sorillo, just for you handsome:

What do you call an endowed puppet?

Well strung

Oak Ridge NC
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funny, KJ

. . . when it's soft you can't beat it and when it's hard you get fucked.

Danville VT
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@Cumm loved it

@Inlove....tsk tsk tsk bahahahaha

Life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely . . .then a woman makes it hard. ba-dum-bum-CHING

Oak Ridge NC
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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