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TOPIC: Jokes_and_Funnies_feel_free_to_add_your_own
Created by: DestinFlCp
Original Starting post for this thread:
Rick is in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him " Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! "

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway . Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him

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Now that is funny.

North Port FL
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I like that one VA

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.” -

Clemmons NC
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I saw this woman wearing a shirt that said "Guess"

I said "Implants?"

Bitch hit me!

Windermere FL
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Fidel Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed.

America: Donald Trump is our new president.

Fidel Castro: Well then.....

Fullerton CA
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@Kelly good one!

How do you get pie out of the carpet? Have her shave the carpet.

Rialto CA
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

Clemmons NC
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Worst.

Joke.

Ever.

Windermere FL
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today is election day and the Democrats will hold the lead most of the day until the Republicans get off work.

Vicksburg MS
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I just noticed that this thread was started by DestinFlCpl.

We disagee on almost everything, but he was a pretty good guy...

Fullerton CA
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LOL, that was a good one. I like that.

Marydel DE
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TOPIC: Jokes and Funnies feel free to add your own
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