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TOPIC: what_if_wife_says,I_don't_know_,we'll_see
Created by: tinynboobs
Original Starting post for this thread:
I really want my wife to be happy and I feel like I'm not hitting the "happy" spot anymore so that's why I'm trying something out to help her/me.See dosent think this is good idea but still willing to meet and make new friends.I'm very perplexed!

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Communicate, go slow at her speed, communicate, visit a club to watch others, communicate and you will see where things lead. You should not push her into something she may not be ready to try. If you both have an interest in the lifestyle, things will work themselves out in due time. Be patient and talk a lot.

Mercersburg PA
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i started out the same way...i don't know, i'm not sure, why do you want to do this, etc etc. my hub signed us both up on the site, and asked me to check it out. so i did. i read the Forums a lot, and saw that my preconceptions about the lifestyle were all wrong. i'm finding that i am totally turned on and am very excited by the idea. i also had the great fortune of 2 group leaders "mentoring" us. i can contact them any time and ask questions. and i've had some doozies for beginner's questions! LOL the key that worked for us is take it slow...very slow. ask her to read the profiles and forums (look for anything for Newbies, and especially the Red Flags 101 threads), and talk a lot. and NEVER push her into a "meet and bop" the same night if you go to an event. a guaranteed recipe for disaster.

good luck! Freebird (her)

Rome NY
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thanks for all info,she's beginning to open up to me a little bout this,maybe can start to enjoy some new friends with open minded outlook on life

Hope AR
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Haha, well put!

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what if wife says, I don't know, we wil see...

you will see :-)

Newtown PA
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I must agree with the other posters. Its a hard call. If she is curious yet unsure I'd say go to some clubs and have some fun together. Not to swap, to have fun first and take things from there. I mean its hard for me to give any good advice because I don't know her. You know her. If she is hesitant yet curious than I would say try it very carefully going at her comfort levels. If she does NOT want to be here and is against the idea of the lifestyle than I would suggest finding a new hobby. What will happen if she truly does not want to be here is she will feel resentment, frustration and anger. I would sit and talk with her about what she is really thinking and feeling.

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Swinging is best done either by individuals, or by couples who are both eager and willing participants.

Think of the people you might meet -- they're not interested in being part of you resolving any questions you might have, either about your marriage in general or swinging in particular. I say this as someone who has seen more than his share of unhappy couples in the life -- as well as very happy couples in the life.

If you're not hitting her happy spot -- whatever that means -- consider some sort of professional counseling. If it is a physical problem, a trip to the gynecologist might suggest why she isn't getting the pleasure she should.

If it is a problem with your relationship, talk to a marriage counselor, or a spiritual advisor. Not other swingers.

Swinging is done by couples in a committed relationship with each other. It's not part of a therapy regimen.

Best of luck to you -- please post back here and let us know what you decide to do.

New York NY
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If she doesn't think it is a good idea, then it probably is not. You may need to have some long talks about what she wants and needs, as well as yourself. Communication is the answer. Swinging is only fun if both parties want it, and it will not solve problems, maybe create some more instead.

Sanford NC
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I really want my wife to be happy and I feel like I'm not hitting the "happy" spot anymore so that's why I'm trying something out to help her/me.See dosent think this is good idea but still willing to meet and make new friends.I'm very perplexed!

Hope AR
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TOPIC: what if wife says,I dont know ,well see
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