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newbie wanting info : Swingers Discussion 40124101
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TOPIC: newbie wanting info
Created by: palmer8996
Original Starting post for this thread:
hey all, my hubby and i are new to all this, we have talked about swinging for a few months now, and even made out in front of good friends in a hot tub, but it never went farther, mainly because i was alot nervous, self concience, and a little scared of what the other couple was thinking, seeing, etc. if anyone has some info for me and him (mostly for me) it is greatly appreciated. thanks to all for the hints, tips, pointers, and help.

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Thanks to all of the help I really appreciate it.

Norwalk CA
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Hi, We have been swinging several years. My husband has had a performance problem a few times. Alcohol can be a reason, plus anxiety. Once we were at a party and we were invited by a couple where the woman looked like just out of penthouse magazine. My husband could not believe it! He got so nervous-he "came" before evening getting hard-which he never did! Alcohol can increase performance problems-so use sparingly if at all. Communication and getting to know your partners before the fun begins-can reduce anxiety and reduce performance problems too. -Karen

Albuquerque NM
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I think "performance anxiety" generally refers to difficulties getting and/or maintaining an erection.

South Riding VA
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quick question...when you say, "performance anxiety", is that the inability to get an erection or the inability to cum or cum too quick?

while at a resort last year, i had no problem getting it up, i had trouble finishing because of the "all inclusive" drinking problem!

thanks es

Mahopac NY
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What you are experiencing is VERY common, martian. It happens frequently that men have performance problems the first time or two with a new partner, and especially frequently with those new or almost new to swinging. It's a reflection of anxiety and the fact that you are not yet at ease with swinging. For a lot of men there is an adjustment period when they begin swinging.

If you're lucky, you will find couples with a woman who will be patient with you and give you a 2nd or 3rd chance on other evenings.

As your familiarity and comfort with swinging increase and your anxieties fade away, your performance will be normal.

Anyway, you're not the Lone Ranger by a long shot.

South Riding VA
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Martian.... Our first few encounters left me in the same spot as you are now. I think that for me it was at first, my desire to watch my wife more than having my own fun (with regrets for the ladies I was with). Once that I had gotten over the intial shock of seeing my wife having fun and that everything was ok, I then started having fun as well. Now Mrs Free has to drag me away kicking and screaming at the end of evening and I'm certain you will too find your way soon enough. Mr Free

Huntingdon Valley PA
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hi, we are also new to the lifestyle. we have met a group of people that are very nice, but i(male) have had some issues with proformance. it is something that is unnerving since i never had this problem before. my wife hasn't had any problems getting into it, which i don't have a problem with. i have heard stories about others having the same problem, i would just like to hear how they got over it. i just feel bad that i can't continue and my wife will stop if i do without having to ask, which makes me feel bad for the others. is this normal thing that i am going through.

Norwalk CA
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Hey why not meet open minded like minded friends in a public, safe , no pressure enviroment. KFF is hosting a Meet ~n~ Greet Night Club party, on Feb 25th, for all open like minded friends.

This is a offpremisses cash bar / club party. We've got great tunes, a pool table,video games, a HOT bar / waitstaff, and some of the sexiest people in the lifestyle to keep your Friday night HOT.

Drink specials include: $1.00 jello shots, $2.00 test tube shots. Finger snacks will be provided!!!

We've got motel rooms available just over a mile away for around $40 + Tax.

This party is a GREAT place to meet your friends, or make new ones.

KFF offers a no pressure environment, where NO means NO. The party is open to all open minded friends 21 years old or older by RSVP only. Unfortunately, due to state law, be sure to bring your drivers license or KS state ID to get in the door.)

The theme is "A BLAST FROM THE PAST", so wear something as sexy or as comfortable as you want. All we ask is that you wear SOME TYPE of body covering. We've got some cool door prizes and contest prizes too. INCLUDING A BALLOON DROP AT MIDNIGHT

The party starts at 8PM, and ends at 2AM. You've gotta be in the door by 11PM unless you make prior arrangements with us.

Can't wait to party with all of you sexy people!!! You never know, you might just make a friend, or two, or 10. Don't forget Click here to RSVP for the party Check out our profile and our club link is directly on the top of the profile. Thanks, Party safe and party hard. Christy ~N~ Scott (C&S) - KFF

Wichita KS
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a great way to get over being nervous about getting naked in front of others....... Go to a local nudist resort by yourselves.After the first 30 minutes of seeing others being relaxed you will also become really relaxed. By the end of the weekend you wil be so happy with who you are its unbelievable how much you will really enjoy your own bodies. Now to be naked and have sex in front or with others that will come in time. no pun intended.its great fun...........

Sarasota FL
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I remember all too well how nervous and anxious I was when we were newbies, and I STILL have nerves & anxiety when we go to a swing party, even all these years later.

Just remember, whatever you do, you won't be struck dead by lightning on the way home afterward, and the sun will still come up the next morning on a new day.

Don't take it too seriously. It's supposed to be FUN, after all. Have some fun, even if you only stick your toes in the water the first time instead of diving in headlong.

In the immortal words of Mrs. Valovers, "It's ONLY fucking!" LOL

Jim

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: newbie wanting info