newbie question: Swingers Discussion 123296

165
newbie question: Swingers Discussion 123296

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TOPIC: newbie question

Created by: 69in570	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	I'd suggest thanking them for their interest, and adding something like "perhaps another time" if you might later have an interest later (beware of slamming doors, as you never know who they might be able to introduce you to!). If you're CERTAIN that you'll Never have any interest in her/him/them, a sincere and polite "Thank you very much for asking, but I just don't feel that there's any 'spark'". Regardless of how you phrase it, and whether you accept or not, you should acknowledge their expression of interest and thank them for it in a kind manner. If you'd prefer to spend more time getting acquainted before responding, then feel free to say so. Anyone who'd get upset about a kind and thoughtful response likely isn't anyone that you'd care to know better anyway, are they? JnD
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (652 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You are so right. I try to tell people that...that that twinge of "hurt" will pass quickly if you don't rehash it continually and LET yourself feel hurt longer than a brief twinge. Same goes for jealousy. It does happen, but it shouldn't permeate. How to let someone down easily? Be polite. There's enough rudeness around. "I'm not feeling chemistry" is perfectly acceptable. A simple, "I don't think I'm interested" is ok too, but both are hard to get out of your mouth the first time. Body language does work to offer hints (backing away, arms crossed, an uninterested look). I would hope that most people would get subtle hints, but it's also good to have a plan with your SO if you are being pestered. This guy at a hotel party social was being obnoxiously pushy with me, and trying to touch my tits, etc., being sneaky about it. I got up to get a drink, said, "I'm going to go talk to my friends...haven't seen them in a while," or something like that, and when I walked away, the guy told Dan, "Boy, she's a tough one, isn't she?" Dan laughed and walked away. Um. NO, just with you, pal, is what he thought but didn't say. So, I think what you say depends on the situation and the people involved. You can be polite, but not with everyone. ha. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	There is no easy way to decline so for us the best way is to politely say no thank you and get it over with. This give both parties an opportunity to move on. There will always be a feeling of rejection as well as a feeling of guilt for the couple saying no but most of the time it passes quickly. If it doesn't then the lifestyle could be troublesome.
Cape May Court House NJ			Username hidden (68 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We experienced it once. We were at a Mardi Gras club party and had a lot of beads around our necks. I was 45 and my wife 33. A couple around 70 approached us and the wife whispered in my ear to ask what she would have to do to get ALL my beads. For a lot of guys it can be tough because you think, "Could I do that...? and in the back of your head you think, "well.. maybe.." But this lady also seemed to have dipped herself in old-lady perfume. I don't know the specific name of it but we all know it when we smell it. I just thanked her and said how nice she was to ask.. and then gave her all the beads.
Bensalem PA			Username hidden (865 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Jim -- you should be ashamed of yourself -- making light of what is a real dilemma. We just tell them that we'll be happy to see them as soon as our rash has cleared up. Seriously, though -- this is something we have often discussed (not that we get hit on all the time, but now and then.....) and it can be awkward. Any others out there with thoughts on it? Mr& Mrs. Chim
Charlotte NC			Username hidden (546 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I always tell 'em, "No thanks, but I know this hottie from San Marcos that will take care of you!" Jim :-)
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8165 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Politely thank them for their kind offer but no thank you. If they get upset that is their problem, not yours.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

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TOPIC: newbie question