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TOPIC: new at this

Created by: new2lifestyl Original Starting post for this thread:
My fiance and I are just starting out in the lifestyle and are not really sure how to go about meeting people, We are primarily looking for females and maybe couple for soft swap. I am not sure that i would be ok with him sleeping with another women just yet as he is not ready for me to be with another man, I guess maybe the club scene would be best to start with and go from there? I am looking for advice from another couple that has been in the lifestyle for at least 1 year and has some knowledge about it as we do not. Maybe someone will see this post and respond with interest were not really age specific just want 20-40 as were in that age range.. not holding my breath really just here looking for some advice and maybe a vote of confidence that starting out takes time but it will happen. :) Any advice from anyone is be of help

Created by: new2lifestyl
Original Starting post for this thread:

My fiance and I are just starting out in the lifestyle and are not really sure how to go about meeting people, We are primarily looking for females and maybe couple for soft swap. I am not sure that i would be ok with him sleeping with another women just yet as he is not ready for me to be with another man, I guess maybe the club scene would be best to start with and go from there?

I am looking for advice from another couple that has been in the lifestyle for at least 1 year and has some knowledge about it as we do not.

Maybe someone will see this post and respond with interest were not really age specific just want 20-40 as were in that age range.. not holding my breath really just here looking for some advice and maybe a vote of confidence that starting out takes time but it will happen. :) 

Any advice from anyone is be of help

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User Details are only visible to members.	Thank you to every who gave advice we took the leap and met a couple at a club had a soft swap and loved it we later that night talked about what we done and how we felt we love the lifestlye and cant wait to meet more people. I had alot of trust issues going in and now i know that at the end of the day we have each other and no matter who we swap with the sex is not the same as it with your partner when you care for each other. Everyone is the lifestyle is accepting of others and thats great and i must say thanks to the advice of people here on the site i have learned alot! SO thank you everyone!
Columbus OH			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We do sometimes tell each other about flirtations, but it's usually said to initiate a teasing and fun conversation that ends up turning each other on...that can be quite fun! And then Dan will use it later as a fantasy for me sometimes, such as "You'd like to do that cute guy in the bookstore who told you you had gorgeous eyes, wouldn't you..." and go from there. But it's never because we feel the need to report every little detail of our life to each other. That smacks of lack of security in the relationship a bit. (not saying that it is that way, just that feeling) As for the Original Poster, welcome, and hope you find the answers you're looking for. You sound a bit nervous, apprehensive, and with more experience in this, comes more confidence. Keep in mind that you are there for each other, to turn on each other, to dance, to flirt, to have fun. Relax, enjoy, go to clubs and events with no expectations other than to have fun with your spouse. Look around, talk to people, ask questions. We enjoy introducing people to other people and helping newbies feel comfortable and welcome, so hopefully you'll find a couple like that who will help. Good luck, relax, keep your boundaries and preferences, and be patient. Always talk to each other about your experiences and just have a great time. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lkn4 my wife was going through early menopause issues due to a hysterectomy so that was a big part of it. she is now getting shots and both of us are much happier :) forgot about those little details. too much to type also. LOL
Niagara Falls NY			Username hidden (1021 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Communication: means you tell him/her absolutely everything that may happen during your day including others hitting on you or you were looking over a hottie you seen. " Wow, y'all are some serious communicators. Jay and I do not take it to this level however. I mean, if I'm waiting for my salad at Texadelphia and a guy smiles at me I'm not going to call Jay and report it...and he doesn't to me either. We will talk about funny things mind you, like today a man said he wanted to marry me in jest lol. But we don't do a report so to speak. With the tops that I wear, if I told Jay about every every set of eyeballs that check my boobs out I'd be out of minutes faster than I am at this point...and I run out pretty quickly as it is lol.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	daringduo: trust yes we do tell each other everything and communication mesans that we can discuss all of our feelings good and bad and know that in the end we still have each other unless you can do this being in this lifestyle can be a real problem with a relationship. It sounds like the 2 of you were not as secure in your relationship as you need to be for this lifestyle maybe some real trust issues.
Pennsburg PA			Username hidden (3 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	forgot about your other question. whatever makes both of you comfortable to get started is best. another point i would like to make is the first time jitters can be quickly overcome. the first time seeing him/her doing something that makes you feel uneasy is a BIG step. afterwards the sex can be incredible talking about what transpired.
Niagara Falls NY			Username hidden (1021 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Trust, Communication, Honesty, "NO" Jealousy and Rules the two of you have set and stick to those rules is key. Trust: means you do not wonder if your better half is messing around. Communication: means you tell him/her absolutely everything that may happen during your day including others hitting on you or you were looking over a hottie you seen. Honesty: you answer him/her everything truthfully Jealousy: means your partner can tell you anything on his/her mind without you truthfully it and getting pissed off over nothing. There was a time we stopped swinging because I would tell my wife everything and she began to analize it and would argue with me. well i eventually cut the communication off for fear of yet another argument. she finally came to me one day and wanted to know why I refused to communicate with her anymore. even though I figured it was going to be yet another blowout argument I had avoided for a long time I told her the truth. she realized why I cot off communications with her and we are BACK!!!! without issues.
Niagara Falls NY			Username hidden (1021 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My husband and I have been together for 23 years and in the lifestyle for everyone of those 23years. We have found that trust and communication are the key to this lifestyle. Keep an open mind. As far as meeting people, we have met people online as well as meet & greets. Just relax enjoy and go at your speed.
Pennsburg PA			Username hidden (3 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The best advice? Always remember to have fun. Take things slowly, at the pace of the most hesitant member, never be in a rush. Don't be afraid to say no thank you. Soft swap is fun, lots of couples love it!! Just be straight up with what you are looking for, let people know you are new to this and you will do great. I always suggest a safe word when you start out. If you have a problem do not make a scene in front of everyone, discreetly call your spouse into another room and explain that you are not comfortable with something. And have fun. Have fun. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My fiance and I are just starting out in the lifestyle and are not really sure how to go about meeting people, We are primarily looking for females and maybe couple for soft swap. I am not sure that i would be ok with him sleeping with another women just yet as he is not ready for me to be with another man, I guess maybe the club scene would be best to start with and go from there? I am looking for advice from another couple that has been in the lifestyle for at least 1 year and has some knowledge about it as we do not. Maybe someone will see this post and respond with interest were not really age specific just want 20-40 as were in that age range.. not holding my breath really just here looking for some advice and maybe a vote of confidence that starting out takes time but it will happen. :) Any advice from anyone is be of help
Columbus OH			Username hidden (2 post)

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TOPIC: new at this

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