mutually satisfying experiences: Swingers Discussion 44107

165
mutually satisfying experiences: Swingers Discussion 44107

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TOPIC: mutually satisfying experiences

Created by: Allentowncouple4fun	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	It takes time for the female to relax enough to enjoy the experience and focus on herself. It took me over 2 years. Walking away sexually frustrated is not good, but is actually a process that we go through (at least in my opinion)
Pendleton SC			Username hidden (3 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	<I like to ride as I am not much one for just laying down> Next few times, try laying down the first 10 or 15 minutes and see if that makes things any better. I know I like to start in control, and all women I've been with have allowed me to do that. Doing so solidifies my erection and later it doesn't matter if we try other positions that the lady prefers but are just ok for me. Sometimes subtle things like that can make a difference.
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have found this to be true no matter who does the contacting.Whether its them or us ,whether its me or Suzy. Most of the males seem to be really to concerned with what their wife is doing then what they are doing.We have no idea ,if they are so excited that they lose their load within 10 minutes and can't get aroused again no matter what is done. We will say the most fun times where both of us have had a great time has always been unplanned.At a house party,club, beach event that we do.Spur of the moment with lots of creativity, where you spend equal amounts of time for foreplay as you do finding a place to get it on.
Sarasota FL			Username hidden (2070 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I realized that the two pieces of advice I was offering were rather generic. So I'm not surprised if they don't apply to you. I was just trying to mention things that came to my mind and that might be a problem. Having said that, you do admit to initating many of the contacts. Looking back, and comparing experiences where you had initiated the contact, vs others where the contact was initiated by the other male, can you tell if the patterns of male performance are different? Again, I really have no ideal if this applies to you, but it's just something to look into. One thing you could do is to give yourself more exposure in the forums, by participating in all the many conversations that take place. Obviously you write very well and seem to be an interesting person. Show off a little. Be "out there" in the SLS community and eventually more guys (male halfs of couples, that is) will contact you. You can still be picky in regards to whether you respond or not, buy they will have initiated the contact. It is strange that you find a pattern of poor performance in your male partners, especially considering that you are obviously very attractive (judging from your pictures). What exactly may be the problem is hard to guess without more information. You mention swing clubs. I remember the only occasion in swinging when I failed to perform was precisely at a swing club. We didn't get into one of the playrooms until past midnight, and by then I had had quite a few drinks. Again, I can only make guesses as to this is an issue in your case. If you and your man are drinkers, and the other couple tries to keep up with that, it may be too much for the other guy when it comes to playtime. About the high expectation on your part and why this should affect the performance of the other male, again this is only a guess. Sometimes if a male feels too much pressure to perform, that alone may act as a mental block. If your frustration somehow comes through, and that would be mostly unconciously, with body language and other very subtle signs, the guys could feel the pressure. And he might not even be aware of what's happening. So that's why I was wondering if maybe overhauling your whole frame of expectations might help in this regard. I don't want to ask you to get too personal in the details, but on the other hand the more information you provide the more likely somebody can make a useful suggestion. Going back to your recent experiences, are there any common patterns on the way things developed, that you could identify? This is like doing detective work!
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well, we are definitely no experts on this subject, and I'm sure you'll get more useful suggestions later. In the meantime, a couple of thoughts come to mind: - If most of the contacts you guys are making are initiated by your husband, try changing the strategy (at least some of the time) and let other couples contact you first. Often it will be the male of the other couple who takes the initiative on their end, and you will know that it was his interest in you that inspired the initiation of the whole thing. That will give you an automatic advantage that perhaps you haven't had until now (just a guess here). - Tackling the problem from the opposite end, try to think about all the aspects in your interactions with other couples so far which have been fun for you (even though at the end there was the disappointment you mention). Learn to enjoy your friendship with other couples for whatever they can offer, however imperfect and "incomplete". This is a slow process but it's worth it. Over time, your lower expectations and easier sense of contentment will become part of you, and that in turn will make it more likely that future partners perform in ways that are closer to your current expectations. It works like magic! Hope this helps. Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

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TOPIC: mutually satisfying experiences