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chemistry importance : Swingers Discussion 1325571041
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TOPIC: chemistry importance
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@navyp78 - The Mrs here. Yes, this is "just sex" for me, but I have to at least be physically attracted to the other person. I'm not a "professional". I do not and will not have sex with whoever walks thru the door. Just because a guy has a penis doesn't mean I'm jumping on it.

And no, hubby and I are NOT looking to build a relationship with *anyone*. We already have one! It's called a marriage!! :)

I think it's great that some people like to be "friend's first", but we sure don't. In fact (and we'll probably come across as shallow and lame, but) we rarely...if ever, come to think of it...go back for seconds. We like *strange*! LOL

Keeping up a "relationship" is hard work and I personally get bored and annoyed with people. The thought of meeting a couple and going out for dinner and a show with them is like...yuck! Sitting there, making small talk with someone....so that *they* can feel comfortable enough with me that they'll have sex with me...that I knew within 5 seconds that I'm not into them, is like torture. I'd rather go to the dentist. At least he's cute, funny, has money and drives a cool car!

I think that everyone's idea/definition of "chemistry" is different.

Lahaina HI
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Yes, very important to me. Even for "just" sex ;-)

Visalia CA
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no hole for me unless...

A. I can see who it is attached to.

B. That person is HOT.

C. That person is female.

Port Canaveral FL
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I can understand wanting/needing chemistry if your looking for a relationship but if your just in it for the sex is it all that important


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@bluebuzzy - So true. To define or explain *chemistry* is very difficult. It's indeed so ambiguous. It also changes depending on the situation, the people, how you feel that day or how many drinks you've had or how many drinks the other people have had!

But I (the Mrs) DO know this for certain.... when you have chemistry with someone, you know it almost instantaneously. We've met up with couples (or for me, a solo guy) and I knew if I wanted to do them as soon as I saw them.

Conversely, we've walked into a meet with another couple and I immediately got the "ain't gonna happen" feeling.

For me... chemistry is an instinctual, gut feeling and I've learned to go with it because all the times I have ignored it.... well, that's a topic for another day!

Lahaina HI
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At the risk of throwing this WAY of course... there are some folks that will throw their dick in a glory hole, without a second though, thinking/hoping it's a woman... but NEVER actually knowing if it was! (To quote the FOTC, "It's not gay, if you're pretending their a woman. How can it be gay if you're pretending it's a woman?") LOL. Point being, some people get excited by glory holes. Others, including some of those in the lifestyle, get disgusted. "Chemistry" (the very definition is EXTREMELY ambiguous) may not be import to you... but, it is to others. Hence, it NEEDS to be respected.

Ellington CT
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@shesmooth ROFL so true

Stuart FL
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Me: "Ok, let's do this."

My Dick: "But this is not someone we're attracted to."

Me: "Shut up and get hard."

My Dick: "Go fuck yourself."

Port Canaveral FL
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The Mrs here.

I need what I call "temporary chemistry". If I'm not physically attracted to the person, why would I want to be there??

Lahaina HI
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For me chemistry is very important. I have to have some minimal amount of connection to the person I'm having fun with. But please don't think it's anything like love since I've long ago learned that sex and love are not intrinsically linked. There are a handful of people I love, there are a larger number of people I'll have sex with. But the vast majority of people on this site (and in life) I have neither the slightest feelings for (love) nor do I ever envision wanting to have sex with them. But to your specific point about the importance of chemistry. Yes it's vital to me and I don't see that changing. Like Ms. Sav...while I don't have toys, I do have a perfectly functional left hand that means more to me than most here.

Washington DC
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TOPIC: chemistry importance