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changing the misperceptions of vanilla friends : Swingers Discussion 2041041011
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TOPIC: changing the misperceptions of vanilla friends
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I've found it's best to keep it to yourself. There are a few friends that the mrs. felt compared to share this info with, and it really changes things. It has led to a situation or two that has at the very least cost us the friendship.

Toledo OH
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In general Breeders' ** heterosexual monogamous people * are scared of anything that is not the normal flavor of the day and PC. So are pure nudist and smug LBGT people. Their just hypocrites about life choices. In time just like the LBGT has their Parade down main street America. So will wife-swappers, fetish peeps and try-sexuals. That is going to be one fun party. It may take another 20 plus years, but sure enough it will happen. Until then the word on the scene is *Discreet* It's the password for safe, clean fun.

Buford GA
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I dont feel the need to change the misperceptions of the vanillas, I instead like to smile knowing the truth myself. I dont feel compelled to tell my vanilla friends or my family of my fun in the lifestyle and I keep it in my Personal life. Works great. No drama.

Spring TX
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Awesome advice Mrs Sav. I so wish I had your way with words. Well said!!

Augusta NJ
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Thanks everybody for your responses! I don't know that we would ever make our activities "public" knowledge, though one or two close friends may be taken into confidence, mostly because I want somebody else to talk to and get excited about all the new and different experiences we are having. I will probably broach the subject in the way it was broached with our "safety net" friend, bring it up in general and see how they react before explaining our involvement. Until that time comes though, I may be on here more picking other people's brains and enjoying conversations with people who understand!

Philadelphia PA
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Because we chose to keep our private life private I have zero experience explaining it to vanilla friends and really see no need to. I respect the rights of others to share everything and anything with whomever but I would caution you that once the words leave your mouth this is no taking them back. Such being the case I would be VERY SURE that those you chose to tell do not use that information to trash your reputation with those to whom it might matter......the PTA, Boy Scouts/ Girl Scouts, your Church or any organization that involves children like Big Brothers/ Big sisters etc. Many jobs have clauses in their contracts that swinging would raise a red flag if not in fact get you fired. Just be very careful . I suggest you spend a great deal of time determining Why you'd want to tell them , what the possible ramifications are if they don't understand and analyze the potential impact it may have on your relationships in the community and in the friendships you have. The wife you tell might suddenly decide you has aspirations on her husband and therefore create a wedge between you both. Although we are adults and free to make whatever choices we feel are right for us society as you've seen is not quite on the same page. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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don't you know once you become a swinger you will fuck anyone is sight? joking of course. but that for some reason seems to be the way some people think. Heck I'm pickier now then when I was dating!

Luckily so far I haven't really had someone make a comment I really felt like I had to speak up for.

PG

Louisville KY
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Mrs. Here- We are still new to this and I have enjoyed reading through the forums and getting an idea of the “lay of the land”. I guess I am fairly open-minded, and so while I have certainly learned a few things, I haven’t heard of/read anything shocking or crazy in regards to the lifestyle. Most everybody seems as sane and horny as we are! A friend caught me off guard the other day, though, when she said her husband was talking to an acquaintance who may be doing some landscaping work for them, and the acquaintance brought up that he and his wife were swingers. My friend was completely outraged and insisted that the guy never be allowed to work at the house when her husband isn’t home, for fear of the safety of she and their newborn daughter. As only one vanilla friend knows of our activities (as a safety net) I carefully made a comment that I didn’t think swingers would “go after” anybody who didn’t welcome their advances. Did I miss somewhere in the newbie section where it explains that “we” all have to be rapists/murders/insane? Is this a common perception? How has anybody else dealt with “fixing” misconceptions without telling their vanilla friends that they are swingers? Or has anybody lost friends for “coming out” as swingers?

Philadelphia PA
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TOPIC: changing the misperceptions of vanilla friends