Yet another newbie in need: Swingers Discussion 70861

SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

TOPIC: Yet another newbie in need

Created by: nrvsILcpl Original Starting post for this thread:
My hubby and I have just registered and I have a weight issue. I'm 5'6 and 200 lbs, granted about 20 lbs of it is in my chest however I am a thicker girl, looks wise I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I'm not hard on the eyes and I have a great personality. My hubby on the other hand has a slim figure and is adorable. For the most part the profiles I have see are all skinny women, my hubby who of course thinks I'm attractive just the way I am and doesn't share my concern. I don't know how to approach couples. Is there a way to know if they don't have a problem with bigger girls? Nothing in the profiles says anything. I have no problem with being rejected because of my weight, but I think he'll start to feel bad if too many couples say "thanks but no thanks". Any advice is appreciated.

Created by: nrvsILcpl
Original Starting post for this thread:

My hubby and I have just registered and I have a weight issue.  I'm 5'6 and 200 lbs, granted about 20 lbs of it is in my chest however I am a thicker girl, looks wise I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I'm not hard on the eyes and I have a great personality.  My hubby on the other hand has a slim figure and is adorable.

For the most part the profiles I have see are all skinny women, my hubby who of course thinks I'm attractive just the way I am and doesn't share my concern.  I don't know how to approach couples.  Is there a way to know if they don't have a problem with bigger girls?  Nothing in the profiles says anything.

I have no problem with being rejected because of my weight, but I think he'll start to feel bad if too many couples say "thanks but no thanks".

Any advice is appreciated.

GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 to 10 of 61

End

User Details are only visible to members.	haha Poly.. I can't even believe I moved lol.. actually have to go back in two weeks or so for business. No no you didn't insult me.. I mainly try and tone it down to blend in better and so folks can understand me. The reason we aren't there is pretty simple actually... Jamaica is one of only a handful of nations in the world that is animal disease free and our borders are closed to most foreign animals particularly those coming from the US. We can't bring Mr Caynes beloved Rott to the island so here we are in good ol' Ohio! I tend to flee quickly when the first snow is on the ground lol.. we try and spend most of the winter down there. Bless
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2447 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lol Poly you crack me up... yes I have a thick accent but I try and tone it down while I'm up here. And I'm from St Andrew (the Parish next to Kingston)
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2447 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	LOL Spade.. I was so distracted tonight that I didn't even notice that.
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2447 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Akron I am Jamaican... born and raised.
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2447 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Cayne - you should refer to poly as ploy.
Rochester NY			Username hidden (10385 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	And that was basically my point... this lifestyle does not camouflage insecurities well.. in fact I'd say it shines the spotlight on them.
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2447 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You cannot love others until you truly love yourself first.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Poly, we are very much the same.. we rarely play in general and when we go to clubs its usually to meet with friends, do a BDSM performance or because of an interesting theme night etc. We are extremely selective with our play partners. As for body image.. Mr Cayne and I don't belong to gyms but we do eat incredibly healthy and well and we spend alot of time walking, running around with our dog, playing sports etc.. when I moved to the US one of the things that really surprised me was how little people actually walk or just move in general!! We take care of ourselves but we aren't obsessed to the point where it has bred insecurity. But Simba does have a point and we have come across many in this lifestyle who have an unhealthy attitude towards themselves and their appearances (in all shapes and sizes). It makes me wonder how much can they really enjoy this lifestyle with all these insecurities? I'd like to think that one of the reasons why I enjoy it is because I love my body... I love to be looked at and touched. I'm comfortable with my imperfections and because I am not hung up about them it frees me up to thoroughly enjoy the people that we play with and the experiences that we have.
Windermere FL			Username hidden (2447 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Poly your motivations are health oriented. In many people, health motivation is not a big enough catalyst to keep someone exercising to the point of wanting "perfection"....however, being insecure about the way you look naked in front of others is a huge motivator to needing that "perfect" body. Unlike yourself, we meet a lot of people motivated by the appearance factor and not health factor...it's just a bi-product. You can read insecurity in body language. Mr. Sim is a master at it - however, I suck at it. Years ago he was trained by professionals in spotting liars...i.e. pupil dilations, breathing, sideway glances verses vertical glances, rotating your head in a negative reaction when stating verbally a postive etc...and over the years he has morphed it in to other pursuits. LOL
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"sometimes the people with the "best" bodies can be the most insecure and that can be a real turn off is well. " Very true. Many times the "catalyst" to achieve that perfect body is that insecurity. However, when insecurity is at the core....the "perfect" body will always be out of reach, because nothing will ever be good enough to fix" that insecurity issue. Mr. Sim and I play a game when we go to clubs or parties. He calls it the "Pretty People Don't Play" game. It's of course based on the above insecurity issues. We go on... we pick the people that we perceive have this issue. Mr. Sim gets 9 out of 10.. he is good. IF he is wrong.. we have found that those that play also have predictable playing styles. They play off to the side alone in a group room or behind close curtains. RARELY if ever do they venture out and openly play in front of others....there insecurities usually don't allow for it.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 to 10 of 61

End

TOPIC: Yet another newbie in need

		HELP
FORUMS: General Discussions: Getting Started: Yet another newbie in need