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FORUMS General Discussions Getting Started Wife wants to swing but can't handle husband with another partner
TOPIC: Wife wants to swing but can't handle husband with another partner
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OMG... couplelookingpa, we will have a great time without the Viagra and for hours and hours! How could a man not be turned on with a hottie like you? Unconscionable to think that could happen to you!

Rats, it happened to me the first two times too! Mine was all in my mind and when I got it out of my system and stopped thinking I was over the hill, I have been hard ever since! In fact I am right now... Hmmm... Uh Honey, Mrs. 4play...

Brownwood TX
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well now. let your wife know that it is not her at all. There are quite a few limp dicks out there,why who knows.Just wish they were honest enough to let the other couple know ahead of time that they seldom have erections outside of playtime with their own spouse. It really has little to do with what she is doing or how she is doing it. I know when one is not doing something that I want I'll change the direction they are going into a direction that works. I really hope thats he can do that when she is with another. So many people really do not know how to talk about sex with another couple they meet.They seem to cover ,kids marriage, how long they have been together,friends stories but enver seem to be able to talk about the reas9on they are meeting. We have met several couples where the hubby is totally amazed at how easy they can speak of sex with us , they are even more amazed at their own wife for being able to talk freely about sex. we want to know their needs wants and desires and even fantasies. Hell we need to know if what they want and expect will be something we wil give or have done or gotta go . If sex is discussed even if you do not go there,its still an exceptional evening for us as Suzy and I will most definitely be hot for each other and do something that is crazy with one another. Don't be afraid to talk sex wityh another couple.One things for sure you will hear something about your own spouse that will make your night for you along with making those special times you spend with her even more intense. Above all see if her heart is in this as it seems it is for you.

Sarasota FL
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It is VERY common for men to have erection difficulties the first time or two with a new partner - especially in swinging when you don't have an emotional bond like you might expect in a dating relationship. Also, it's true that if a man is not accustomed to using condoms he can expect to have difficulty.

I had had a vasectomy for over 20 years before we started swinging, so naturally we never used a condom at home. I found that condoms gave me all kinds of trouble. It was almost like the sound of a condom wrapper tearing would make my erection disappear.

The solution? Believe it or not I practiced at home! I would masturbate myself into an erection and then open a condom wrapper and try getting the condom on before I lost the erection. After going through a half dozen condoms it somehow stopped being an obstacle!

The other thing to know is that once you get the condom on, penetrate the woman IMMEDIATELY before you lose your erection. Almost always, once penetration is achieved things firm up just fine.

Also, because condoms reduce the stimulation, you may need to thrust either faster or more vigorously than you usually do in order to maintain enough stimulation to stay erect.

Again, practice makes perfect. Experiment at home.

Finally, since everyone else has already mentioned how important it is for you and your wife to really talk, talk, talk about what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable, I won't belabor that. I'll just add that when we first started swinging we couldn't bear to see each other enjoying someone else. Our solution was to use separate rooms until we were thoroughly comfortable with swinging and realized that neither of us was going to "fall in love" with someone else or actually find sex BETTER with someone else. After the first year or so we started WANTING to see each other enjoying someone else, and by then when we did see each other it was a turn-on instead of creating anxiety.

Good luck, keep talking, take things in small steps, and talk some more.

South Riding VA
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I would like to thank you all for the kind information you have provided so far via mail and in the forums.

Alot of you have mentioned that we need to communicate more before and after a meet. I have tried talking to her the same nite and all i have to say is she ROCKS MY WORLD!!! When I'm with another person they don't even come close to my wife and I tell her that. Woman are very hard to figure out, we as men are very visual when woman are more geared emotionally. In no way i think my wife played a part in the other person having erectile problems i know it was him, it just sucks that she did not get to have any enjoyment. I enjoy the moment when she and I are together and not with other couples. The part about the couple is nice because i know what i have and love and go home to every single nite is the best part. We have had an enormous amount of sex since we have started this venture. I love my wife and I'm not going to stop loving her just because we shared a small part of us with another couple. I try to think of these two situations as a hiccup and things will get better.

Thanks again.. R

Simi Valley CA
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Sounds like you guys should do a little more talking then set some strict ground rules if you decide to play again. Each time you get home, talk about the experience honestly and listen to what each other has to say. When we started we did just that and still do. We've also found that as we experienced more these rules and guidelines changes and are still changing. In some cases they have been eliminated all together. In our opinion, honesty and open communication is the key.

Center Valley PA
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I think that the two of you need to have some long hard talks about boundaries and what each other is comfortable with. You can't enter into this lifestyle with a relationship that is anything other than solid and full of trust and communication.

Best of luck to you!

Fresno CA
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So here is the deal, We have been with two couples so far and my wife has not been able to enjoy herself.

Couple one: They are a great couple but we were not attracted to either of them but they were cool enough and we had such a great time together talking that we decided to play. My wife did not enjoy the oral that either of them provided nor did i when the pleasure was provided to me. So we decided to play with each other and climax then went home.

Couple two: They were another couple that had the same values and thoughts as we do, so we went out for drinks chatted it up also we all got along great so we decided to go back to thier house and have a few more drinks and talk some more. I asked my wife if she felt ok and comfertable enough to play she said yes so i asked if they were up to play and they said yes. So we fooled around together then I asked my wife if it was ok that we switched she said yes and handed me a condom. I asked the other female if she was ok with me and she said yes so we started to play. I looked over and noticed my wife was having trouble with the other partner keeping an erection with the condom on so i decided to help him out and told him to jack off a bit and replace the condom with a new one and to put it on while he is hard. He also said that he was also nervous because the last time they played he had no problem keeping it hard. He also mentioned that he has not used a condom since he and his wife have sex without it. "so he say's". So eventually he got hard and put on a new condom me and his wife were back to playing and was doing the same with my wife. My wife then asked me to play with her and the other partners wife did not want to get off of me even when her husband asked her to so i leaned over till the other guys wife got the hint. Thats when my wife said thats enough and we decided to get dressed and excused ourselves. My wife said that she does not like the way the other woman enjoys being with me and that i fucker the other woman harder. While she is with a guy that cant't keep it up the whole time and she cant enjoy anything. The only time she is having fun is when we are both playing together. I told my wife that i only love her and enjoy being wiht her but when we decided to play as a couple it was only to have fun together and have no feeling in the room. The whole ride home was tence and she still keep saying that she knows that the woman only wanted to play with me and not her husband because he has a limp and small member. So for now we are taking it slow. Let me know what you think about our so far swinging Thanks

What i do is

Simi Valley CA
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TOPIC: Wife wants to swing but can't handle husband with another partner