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Why is a bi curious guy in a couple so frightening to a straight guy in a couple : Swingers Discussion 221464
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedWhy is a bi curious guy in a couple so frightening to a straight guy in a couple
TOPIC: Why is a bi curious guy in a couple so frightening to a straight guy in a couple
Created by: Doc_n_Janine
Original Starting post for this thread:
Let's put aside how many guys out there in couples list themselves as straight when they are really bi curious or all out bi... that's not the question I'm posing.

Why is it when you list yourself as bi curious and you stress in your profile that you can play straight that you are avoided like the plague by a couple with a straight guy? Every couple with a guy that is honest about liking bi play understands they're probably going to turn some people off, but just what is it that makes it such a bad thing?

We both have as much fun playing straight as we do playing bi. We try to make it clear that we can respect a couple's wishes regarding their wanting to play straight or bi in our profile. We get "We're not into the bi thing" all the time from people, which seems really interesting because seemingly every woman on this site is either bi or bi curious; and without fail the couple that isn't into the bi guy thing is into the bi girl thing.

Girls playing with each other is hot and people want it, but two dudes playing with each other is gross and has to be avoided?

I understand people have their preferences and I'm not faulting them for having them... I just want some input on why it's something so easily wedged between a couple that would otherwise seem to be compatible, especially when if you stress you don't want any bi guy play you won't get any pressure for it. One thing that is completely pervasive in the swinging community is respecting boundaries. Lay out some ground rules before people get naked and have fun within them. If you're a dude and you don't want a guy playing with your schlong, tell him that and he won't do it. That's all you have to worry about and you can have as much fun as you'd like without worrying about the other guy.

Really... what's the big deal?

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Oh, I know. It still gave me a chuckle though just because it was so pointed and matter of fact. Sometimes I laugh at things that aren't intended to be funny. I'm weird like that.

T

Danville PA
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Hey, I was being serious. We don't always agree, but I think you're a standup guy.

Pittsburgh PA
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Haha

T

Danville PA
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That makes sense. Thanks for the explanation.

I believe in your integrity.

Pittsburgh PA
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"If 95% were with couples who have straight guys, where are all these bi guys who list as straight? "

In our inbox. We get plenty of emails from couples where the guy is listed as straight but then admits he's bi in the email. We've never played with any of them though because (a) We prefer not to play with anyone who portrays themselves deceitfully (if they're lying about their orientation then what else might they lie about?), and (b) none of them were our type.

T

Danville PA
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If 95% were with couples who have straight guys, where are all these bi guys who list as straight?

I've heard that claim 100 times over the years. Heck, I was actually believing it was true.

Pittsburgh PA
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We still have yet to be rejected by anyone because I'm listed as bi. I'm sure we've been passed over by other couples because of it, but no one has ever openly stated that they wouldn't be comfortable with me. So I don't know if we've just been lucky in terms of meeting some really cool people who don't give a shit about that, or maybe it's because I'm upfront about it and emphatically state in our profile that it's not a requirement and that I'll respect any boundaries. Maybe a combo of both, I dunno.

Probably 95% of our experiences in this LS have been with couples with straight men. Bi play just doesn't happen very often because (a) searches yield very little since too many bi guys list as straight, and (b) a lot of bi guys in this LS either give off a creepy vibe or they're into x-dressing and other fetishes that just don't do anything for me.

T

Danville PA
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We would not dismiss a couple with a bi-curious male automatically but would make it known up front before anything got to the play stage, that Tom is in no way interested in doing anything with another male. That being said, he's not afraid to cross swords with another male in the pursuit of pleasuring a lady if she wants two men in her mouth, a DP or DVP.

Princeton NJ
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Well the condom thing is necessary, but don't be fooled into thinking that it prevents either herpes or HPV as they don't. It reduces the chances, but no even very well. This is unfortunate and a great reason to get the HPV vaccine if you are in this lifestyle. Now herpes, well at least check for symptoms before playing even with a condom.

Henderson NV
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I don't see STDs as being the reason people freak, at least in our case. As the guy ok with playing with guys in this couple, it only goes as far as handjobs and blowjobs, and the blowjobs have to be done with a rubber on, just like we do them when the ladies are performing the task.

Of course, this assumes people actually read our profile and understand those things about us, which most people don't.

And you guys have brought up a great point so many people in the community don't seem to realize... something like 1 in 5 people have herpes and most don't even know they have it... so you can not use rubbers if you want but you are taking a HUGE risk.

SAFE SAFE SAFE for us all the time. Ne exceptions.

Bartlett TN
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TOPIC: Why is a bi curious guy in a couple so frightening to a straight guy in a couple