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Where are your successes generated : Swingers Discussion 2061191031
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TOPIC: Where are your successes generated
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We're a fairly picky couple as well... not as much in the kinds of activities we're interested in but in the character and personality of the couples we'll meet with. In either case, I wouldn't worry about defending your choices. They are yours and if you're comfortable with it, then good on ya.

To answer the question, most of our successful group sex encounters have come from "seducing" our friends. However, we have had plenty of interest from SLS, and have had a couple meets with other couples. Childcare issues tend to become an issue with scheduling, so we've yet to "seal the deal" with couple's we've met through the site, but that's not their fault. We also don't attend the local meet-and-greet in our town because p's job could be jeopardized if word got out, and the local m&g is notoriously indiscreet.

So, quick answer? Yes, SLS has worked for us.

New Market MD
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ahh, better worded question. We first tried another site and met a couple couples, but THEY WERE WACKY! The first couple we ever met were okay, got our feet wet, so to speak, but they broke up (n ot bc of swinging), the second couple were just scary, long story. The single female we contacted, contacted us actually, was possessive.

So, SLS was refreshing. I'd have to go back to our old profile from VA to remember which couples we met first, but we actually met a few, then went to a local event at a hotel party (an hour and a half away actually) and met some of the people we had seen posting online. They're still our friends today, and that was 6 years ago. And by friends, I mean we've had sex with them, but we also developed a friendship secure enough that even if/when we don't have sex, we still are able to hang out, talk, go public places, even with family members, and include them in mixed parties.

You said, " but I assure everyone, there are people out there who don't have the full swap or nothing attitude. " You are so very correct. We are one of those couples. We even say in our profile that we have fun with soft swap (or ok, NO swap too) couples. One of our best friends just watch and like to be watched. We have no prob with that, as long as we know what they want and don't want.

It's good to be picky. There are some strange people, there are some wonderful people, there are some strange and wonderful people.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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I always end up defending our boundaries and tastes whenever I post in the forums... even when I'm asking about issues outside of those difficulties we know we present ourselves with. I suppose I'll give it another stab, even though I was wanting to get input on difficulties others might face, and not on the ones we already deal with.

We realize we have a narrow scope. For most people in the lifestyle it can seem quite limiting, and often times a tease, but I assure everyone, there are people out there who don't have the full swap or nothing attitude. We're willing to wait for the people that find us appealing. We get emails all the time from people who just want to compliment us on the profile; people who feel the same, people who admire us for having limits and sticking to them (they're usually too far away to meet up with) but as others have pointed out, this site is populated mostly by people that want full swap, so most of our successes stem from other areas outside of this website.

Again, I'm interested in the experiences of other members here regarding thier success rate from the site compared to other venues or avenues in the lifestyle. (It would be in poor taste to just come right out and ask what other websites are better than this one, so I'm not.) I'm curious if people here are having the same rate of success we're having or if they feel they're not having the success they should; people who don't have all of the rules or limits that so many people see as a negative in our case. That's the variable so many people like to point out but I'm not wanting to call attention to that, I know it limits us... How are people making out here with broader horizons than we have?

For people who see themselves as successful in the lifestyle, do you find your successes coming more from this site or other areas?

Bartlett TN
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I think it may evolve here and there, from people socializing, and just being in the forums, to actually meeting. Sometimes it just takes a while. We've met some really great people from SLS, and in both realms: sexually and socially.

I'd say just keep being patient. sometimes it depends on locale, sometimes just on the nature of those who post their profiles. Sometimes people are just curious about the whole thing, some are here just to flirt, some just for attention with no intention of doing anything physical, and some are here just for the sex.

Write a good initial personal email to those in whom you're interested, and don't have expectations. When we meet people, we usually choose just a casual first meeting place. Even a festival can be a place to meet, or a concert, etc., a busy place you would go to anyway to have fun with your spouse. If you hit it off, good, it you don't, you haven't lost anything, and still can have fun.

Good luck. Gina

San Antonio TX
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This site has been fine in terms of meeting people, but I'm not hell-bent on meeting lots of new playmates either. I joined SLS toward the end of my kid-in-a-candystore, fuck-someone-new-every-week phase. I block free members, and generally don't initiate contact to meet new people, but the site still produces more than enough new opportunities to play.

If you're not getting the traffic you'd like, the other posters in this thread have already pointed out why: an awfully detailed protocol and rule-set to navigate, for little more than same-room sex.

Belle Chasse LA
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Yes, we realize our rules limit us, but besides our rules being a limiting factor, I was wondering if people without our rules have as much difficulty finding play mates through this site and generate successes through other means.

Bartlett TN
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We agree with Westernpa, your profile is probably holding you back. For example, I can't remember anyone ever requiring a condom for oral sex. Probably a deal breaker for us and a lot of other couples as well (condoms taste horrible, lol). The fact that you're not full swap will also severely limit your opportunities, as this is a swinging site. With that being said, everyone in the lifestyle should be expected to respect your rules, just accept the fact that more rules will equal fewer responses.

Virginia Beach VA
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When I was a couple, we met plenty of people from the site. Of course, we had to winnow through the chaff, and there were some fakes as well. But we were quite successful.

I wonder, perhaps, if your profile isn't a bit of an issue here. It's lengthy, and doesn't show much of a sense of humor - perhaps lightning up with help.

Good luck, and may the Force be with you!

Shadyside PA
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most of ours have been through going to our local swing club. Mainly because we don't spend a ton of time searching on here and emailing people. We'd rather just head to the club when we get a chance have a good time and if we meet someone great if not we still had a great time.

Couple of exceptions to that...the single male I played with for about 2 years we met through here. And of course people we have met on our travels that I had talked to in the forums. The only searching I do on here now is for a single male to play with but easier said then done since I'm a picky bitch about my single men.

PG

Louisville KY
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I'm not sure of the risk you're assuming by going to a club. If someone encounters you there...well...they are there to.

Back on topic though, we've met four couples through this site. We've met one through another site. We've met three others at a house party (that all happen to have accounts here). Now, that being said, we've only played with three of them. We've hung out with all of them and/or had dinner/drinks with them. And we might have some playtime in the near future with a couple of them.

But, even the ones we met at the party can be attributed to the site, cause that's how we all knew about the same party.

For us, meeting people was simple. We took time to go through every local profile and even a few areas we are willing to drive to. We singled out all the ones we found interesting. When then took the time to send them messages a few at a time. After a few messages/texts/calls if we had some chemistry and interest on both sides, we met up and went from there.

After that, we went with the next segment of names, etc. We didn't want to be juggling too many people at once, so we did it slowly. It has worked well for us. You can't be discouraged, by lack of early success. Some people simply don't check their messages enough. Some people aren't interested. Some people have a good number of playmates in their bullpen already and are only going to add one when one drops out or someone completely wows them.

Waco TX
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TOPIC: Where are your successes generated