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What do you do when you get stood up : Swingers Discussion 62849
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TOPIC: What do you do when you get stood up
Created by: GingerMango
Original Starting post for this thread:
Well, after about a year and a half in the lifestyle we finally got stood up last night for a first meeting. We had (we thought) found an interested and willing single bi-female, my wife had chatted with her online extensively for several days, she had eagerly agreed to a dinner date (our treat) at a restaurant of her choice, and she seemed fine with everything. So we showed up for dinner and waited. And waited. And waited. No phone call. No email when we got home. No IM. So we sent her an email through SLS last night asking if she was ok and telling her we missed her at dinner, just trying to be polite. Nothing. Of course we can see that she's read our message and we see that she's back on the site here today. Is there anything else we can/should do? We feel like we ought to warn people about this lady's rude and inconsiderate behavior, but really how do you do that? Is it petty of us to be pissed off?

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KinkyInDelaware, the reason certs are of questionable value is that I can make Account1 here, then make account2, then use account2 to certify Account1.

Covington KY
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Quick note to those who insist on phone contact to verify femininity... do you bypass for those with feedback? I only ask because I personally HATE the phone and only use it in emergencies (I would use it if I had to cancel, which I have only done like 3 times my whole life). For most people the phone is probably no big thing, but there is an increasing # of us who have a physical aversion to phones as phones (I use my sidekick 3 constantly but I'll be damned if I actually talk on it)

Sorry to hijack just wondering.

Bear DE
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The first time we get stood up we will do that same thing that we do when we do not plan to meet anyone or anyones. We will enjoy ourselves, and have a great evening, then go home and have incredible cum on the walls and ceiling sex.

I feel bad for anyone that stands us up, I do not feel bad for us.

Covington KY
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Poohba Not sure where you got the idea that "chatting doesn't mean disinterest". Or how you jumped from planning a dinner date to "automatically drop their drawz" At least I hope it was not from me. My point on that is that if they can't call on the phone to confirm they are female or that they are a couple then it was no point in setting a dinner date. No one is denying the need to get into a comfort zone before meeting and chatting online is very helpful in doing that however if they continue to do this for weeks and weeks. What's the point?. Besides: The issue is people that stand you up which are normally (but not always) the same ones that won't confirm they are are single female or a M/F couple via phone or webcam before the date is planned.

Yes shit does happen and even a couple you have confirmed with can still stand you up or go squirrely on you. But Yes I would assume a person(s) "afraid, disinterested, or just hanging out here to see all the tits, ass, and dicks posted on the site" if they stand you up and then don't respond back to you with any explaination. Granted Shit can happen and perhaps some bad drama happen in their lives that evening and that's why they did not show, well then if that's the case it might be understandable if they never contacted back to say they were sorry and explain that a problem occured. For the people that stand you up and don't contact you after the fact to discuss it...then I don't think anyone would expect them to continue using the site. For them to continue to use the site after standing someone up and not contacting you to explain why just shows that they are either fake or very disrespectful. Both are traits no one likes.

Sandston VA
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That's one hell of an assumption; chatting doesn't always mean disinterest! Giving the benefit of the doubt, maybe they're trying to get into their comfort zone - not everyone who swings will just automatically drop their drawz for someone because they asked. Then there's the "shit happens" thing, something I'm sure we're all familiar with. If someone stands you up without a reason, that's one thing and if they do it without giving you the benefit of a phone call, that's just as bad.

Like in our case, the date was confirmed and we even called them while en route to the meeting place, only to have shit happen and we wound up trashing the room by ourselves. Were they scared? Maybe. Did they tell us a lie to get out of it because they were scared? Possibly - but unless you happen to find out, you really don't know why the date went south.

I'm not making excuses for anyone who'd do this to a willing couple but you just can't assume they're afraid, disinterested, or just hanging out here to see all the tits, ass, and dicks posted on the site. Like anything else, it's a matter of common courtesy - but if they are unable and/or unwilling to extend you such a simple thing, then they have no business being involved with you or anyone else.

Like I said before, if you get stood up, at least you still have each other, unless there's something up with that - maybe a topic for another post?

Rob

Newark DE
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Just curious did your wife chat with her on the phone or webcam? Several times my experiences with single females (as a single guy and as a couple) were that if they weren't willing to chat on the phone to confirm they were female then it was a waste of time to go any farther with chatting with them.

There are a lot of couples and singles (males & females) that enjoy the sexual tension, they enjoy the chase, but they have no intension of going thru to a meeting either due to presenting a fake image (guy chatting as a girl) or single vs married. Bottom line they are just on this site (and others) to just get a thrill from their computer. They don't care how much of your time and energy you wasted on an imaginary relationship because they are only in this for their own personal thrill.

Anybody not willing to confirm by phone before a dinner date most likely is not worth your time. I personally also created a rule that if they only seem to want to chat for days and days without meeting then they are most likely not really interested in meeting. They will use excuses that they are shy or not ready. My answer for that is to assume they are fake.

Sandston VA
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The best part abut having a sexy and Biwife is that I am never stood up, and neither is she. If someone does not show up to meet us, be it new friends, old friends or whatever, at the the end of the night I will take the best looking woman home with me.

I think worrying about being stood up when you have an exciting partner is a waste of time. Just go out and have fun, if you meet someone, cool, if not, so be it.

Covington KY
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Being stood up is so exhausting and rude, but it's rampant in the Lifestyle.....with some more than others. Our experience has shown it the worst with single females.... I think they are many times more talk than action. Then of course, there are the couples that do the same. We finally decided we wouldn't meet one on one with people anymore (unless a very rare exception) and only meet people at the club. All of those that want to meet us - we tell them what night we will be at the club - meet for drinks at the bar. If they show up good.... if they don't show -still good because there are like minded individual there to approach with no wasting an evening. There are many people that won't meet you at a club.... for those we say "Oh well... we won't meet one on one." This past weekend we had 5 couples wanting to meet us ... all said they would love to go to the club and couldn't wait to finally meet us. How many showed up? None of them. We have heard since from 2 of the 5 couples giving their "excuses". The others have dropped off the face of the earth..LOL. However, we still had a great time that evening and meet a new couple at the club and played for a few hours and then went home. So, we no longer allow people to waste our time.

Mountain Ranch CA
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We've been stood up. We drove about an hour to meet someone at a restaurant on a Saturday afternoon. As far as we could tell, the "girl" never did show up. So, we had drinks and ate and the food was wonderful! Oh well! We were both a little irritated that we drove all that way in our free time to meet someone who never showed up, but I think my hubby enjoyed the fellatio in the car on the long drive home!

We've had other instances where the people we were chatting with would just never agree to a time/date/place to meet. Because of all this, I've become quite a bit more picky about who sees our face pics. I also limit my chat with those I haven't met in person yet. Mrs.

Tyler TX
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Oh, and while we were a little pissed off for a minute or two, it wasn't that bad because we made room for this couple to do what they did, so there was no point in us being pissed about something we figured on them doing.

No phone call (we both had our cells), no email, no nothing - until today and they even had the audacity to ask if we could still meet. For me and Linda, it's common courtesy: If you set up a meet with us (with or without sex) and we couldn't make it, you'd get a phone call from us the moment the problem came up; if it can be resolved in a reasonable amount of time - say an hour - then we'll be there PDQ; if not, we apologize and ask if we can reschedule.

If we say, "One of us will call you in an hour..." you'll get a phone call in an hour one way or the other.

Newark DE
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TOPIC: What do you do when you get stood up