115
What's wrong with being a newbie : Swingers Discussion 43326
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedWhat's wrong with being a newbie
TOPIC: What's wrong with being a newbie
Created by: SexyCouple71 The original post for this thread was deleted.
GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 11   End
User Details are only visible to members.
We have had all different experiences with newbies, but the last newbies we met, were wilder than us, so not all are the same. It all depends on what people are searching for in potential playmates. We have had the newbies with the drama issues, but have met some fantastic newbies as well.

Jerome PA
Username hidden
(12063 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Sorry, can't help you. I don't think there is any way to find other newbies, other than to scroll down to the bottom of the SLS home page and click on New Today or New This Week.

You may find another newbie couple that is just what you are looking for. But most of us found that newbies meeting newbies is very much like the blind leading the blind. You might find it much easier and more comfortable to get started by finding a couple with at least a few years' experience to help you get started without drama and hysterics and to help you get past the typical nervousness & anxiety of newbies.

We were ALL newbies once. I bet none of us will ever forget how we felt when we were newbies.

Best of luck!

South Riding VA
Username hidden
(8172 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Sexy, I agree, being a newbie sucks ass! We don't know what we're doing, how to do it, or how to go about it. We're awkward and unskilled. I understand why the "veterans' dont want to be with us, but good god it would be appreciated! If only we were in your area we could be awkward and unskilled together.

Wheatland CA
Username hidden
(1123 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
My two cents worth. Given only two choices and all other things being equal: Newbies that want to take their time; or an experienced couple that wants to jump in the sack every chance they get, we will take the newbies every time.

We prefer getting to know a couple and what makes them tick before we start the fun. The best sex has a large mental component and knowing your partner ahead of time makes for a better experience.

As an example, we met a couple a few years ago that were swinging virgins. We took the time to find out all about their reasons for wanting to explore this side of their sex lives. We also advised them about jealousies and how swinging is a magnifier in their relationship -- good becomes better and bad becomes worse. They seemed to have a good handle on the idea of swinging.

We met for dinner, played pool another night and had them over to our home on another evening. We talked and got to know each other without the nervousness that comes from wondering if we were going to end up in bed. We had fun without sexual expectations.

We knew they were ready to get naked so we invited them over for a hot tub party. They had never sat naked in a hot tub with another couple so even that was exciting to them to watch another naked body. We did a little light caressing and back rubs. Pretty tame stuff. When it was time to call it a night I thought it would be fun to give them something to fuel their bedtime pillow talk and sex. So, I suggested Mrs. Fun and his wife give him a double BJ at the edge of the spa. They really like the idea and the women went to work. It was great to watch him and his reaction to seeing two women going down on him. I was touching his wife during this playtime to get her all hot, too.

After several minutes and before he came, Mrs. Fun told him that she felt he had enough excitement to last the short trip home where his wife could finish taking care of him. What he said next was the funniest line I may have ever heard in the swinging scene. He said "That was a hundred times better than looking at pictures of it!" We all had a great laugh. We found out the next day they went home and had sex several times that night.

The next time we got together, they had planned for it to be HER turn. They let loose. She became a wild little slut that wanted to try every position and combination of cock she could think of. They became wonderful sex partners and our friendship lasted a long time.

I don't think we would have developed such a strong sexual bond if we had rushed into things. We had built a trust which allowed them the freedom to express their deepest desires without fears.

Newbies are cool with us.

Henderson NV
Username hidden
(405 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
You are right...we are just a bit slower than most...lol

Destin FL
Username hidden
(14562 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
2VT, we never play on the first meeting, maybe the second but the 3rd or 4th time is normal...We make friends first and play second since it is not the most important thing to us.

Destin FL
Username hidden
(14562 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Most of your hard core veterans will pass on newbies as like you said, they think but do not know what they want, can be full of drama...and since they have never done it before there may be some jealousy issues. Time wasters in the Lifestyle are all over so many do not like to take a chance when they may have so little time themselves.

Just keep trying, tell people what you will and will not do in your profile, have some nice G pics along with the rest and most of all have patience...Good Luck.

Destin FL
Username hidden
(14562 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
There is nothing wrong with being a Newbie....and those that think there is, not only have an undesirable attitude..but need to re-examine where their coming from on this lifestyle issue. We have been exploring this activity for a few months now and while we have gone to a club a few times..we still are moving slow as we descover what it is we are seeking. There are some really great couples out there and I would'nt let a few upset you. Patience is the key. What will happen will happen..but only when you allow it.

Higganum CT
Username hidden
(11 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We don't think there is anything wrong with being a newbie (as mentioned before we were all newbies at one point or another). We believe that you should take your time and go at your own pace. In this lifestyle (and certainly in this website), you are going to find someone who wants to proceed at your level, thats pretty much a guarantee. Also, if someone emails you and then gives you the silent treatment or is rude, then they are just rude people to begin with and doesn't matter if you are newbie or not.

On the other hand, I can understand why a lot of people are put off by newbies too. A lot of couples here are your typical nuclear family types with kids. Its very hard sometimes to go out and have some adult fun. We know this because we are in that category. Bearing that in mind, when people go out they want to make the most of it. A lot of times, the "newbie" couples want to go at a slow pace and people are just not looking for that. Based on our experiences, a lot of newbie couples want to do this drawn out courtship sort of thing and it does tend to turn us off.

We are very clear on our profile of our intent and desire. We are also considerate enough to read someone's profile to see if we might be compatible before we email them. If they are looking for something that we are not interested in offereing, we just move on.

Bottom line is there is no excuse or reason to be rude. If you're not compatible with someone, just say it up front.

our $.02.

Lexington KY
Username hidden
(148 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Theres absolutely nothing wrong with newbies .All of us were that at one time.Why people would write,after reading your profile, then be upset that your new just happens. People read what they want to and read between the lines. You will find this quite common where people will say they do not have time to waste. They have so little spare time, this usually translates into we want to get into it very fast, jump with both feet. Most can only give one weekend a month or one weekend every two months to adventuresDon't let it bother you always look at it as it would not have worked out anyway and you did not waste your time.Go at your own pace, never worry about anothers pace. Normally newbies, mean they need time to find out what fits them both. Some just can't spend that kind of tiem to get to know, become that good of a friend or they are not looking for that kind of friendship

Sarasota FL
Username hidden
(2069 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 11   End
TOPIC: What's wrong with being a newbie