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Was it hard for you to see your spouse or parter with another lover : Swingers Discussion 142552
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedWas it hard for you to see your spouse or parter with another lover
TOPIC: Was it hard for you to see your spouse or parter with another lover
Created by: sotwstd
Original Starting post for this thread:
When you first began swinging, did you have a hard time watching your spouse or partner with another lover? If so how did you cope with these feelings?

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Yes, it was a little strange at first, but that feeling was quickly replaced by an overwhelming sensation of how HOT it was.... Incredibly sensual and stimulating. I never get tired of watching her with another guy or woman. And we recently switched roles, with her watching me and a lady friend. She couldn't keep her hands off either of us. And the best part is after, when we're alone. Hottest sex I've ever had.

Tempe AZ
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Not at all. We thought it was sooo hot to see each other with someone else. We usually have sex again with each other after our playtime with others. The "Re-connecting" sex is great! Wed had/have no insecurities or jealousy issues. Swinging enhances our already great sex life.

Princeton NJ
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I want to see my sexy, hot, wife fuck and suck another guy that she is into. Somebody that she is attracted to and enjoys being with. I have seen her nipples sucked and her pussy fingered by another guy and there was no jealously whatsoever. In fact it turned me on! I wanted it to go further, but it wasn't the right time for her. Of course I have, I guess the usual concerns about being reassured about our commitment to each other. I know she loves me and married me only because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. We have really good communication and we both feel that without it, not only will swinging not work out, but neither will the rest of our marriage. She feels that she needs assurance from me that I will not think she is a "dirty slut" her words, after she did it. All I can think about is her fucking and sucking me and another guy while we both please her. Looking forward to her doing this in the future. We sure have talked about it a lot!lol

Mobile AL
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On one hand, it was strange, but on the other, it was so hot.

Our first *real* swinging experience was an MFM. And to be honest, seeing me with another man, hubby felt stung for a minute. But after some deep breaths, the excitement kicked in. What really helped us was that the single male we played with was such a nice guy. He and hubby got along really, really well...like in a vanilla life, they'd probably go fishing and have beers together!

As the broken record says... communication is key. YES...you will experience different and possibly unpredictable emotions when starting out in this LS. I feel that little twinges that eventually pass are totally normal. You LOVE your spouse after all and this is a new thing for you both! But big, overwhelming feelings of anger or jealousy, etc is a signal that you both aren't on the same page and you should stop and reevaluate. Maybe that means after your encounter, maybe it means stop everything right then and there and go talk.

Lahaina HI
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Admittedly we were both excited and nervous.

After a bit of four play, Kathie became more and more adventurous and, took the other guys cock.

The look of ecstasy and lust was unbelievable. The orgasms she enjoyed were beautiful and frequent.

Just a joy for the 4 of us.

Albuquerque NM
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no wasn't hard for me it made me "scott" try harder to out do her

Dallas NC
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I try not to go to that "bad place" with it and just let it be what it is.. SEX, erotica, fantasy..

Philadelphia PA
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Just to share... For our first experience, MFM, I was pretty nervous and worried. Another poster said it well, I had all the usual male concerns to begin with... How would I measure up? Would she like having sex with me just as well after? Would she be doing nothing but thinking about him when we made love? ... But when we started going at it, all I could think of was how excited she looked, how turned on she was, how much pleasure she was getting; and yes I get VERY hard!!! The next day we talked and had the most mind blowing sex ever. We have also continued to have fun both with just each other and with other people.

The truth (from our point of view) is that there will sometimes be jealousy (I know, that is the forbidden word, the bad word, the horrible word that will send people screaming in terror that there is a couple on the site that doesn't do the lifestyle correctly!!!) - but it is about communication, respect of our partner and the other person/s involved, and not doing anything that isn't FUN! And if it ain't fun, why do it? At the end of the day (or night, or morning...whatever, lol) we go home together and are still each others best friend. That is what it is all about.

Pat

Albuquerque NM
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" did you have a hard time watching your spouse or partner with another lover?"

Your damn right it got hard....in fact just thinking about it now......

Charlotte NC
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I was worried about that too...both for me and for him. How would HE feel seeing me w/someone else? But, as we are both strong in our relationship, secure with our feelings for each other, we found that not to be a problem at all. The key is, as I'm sure someone has already said, communication. We talked about it a LONG time before acting on our ideas. "How would you feel if...?" "What do we do if...?"

We both expected there to be some serious after-effects after our first time. But, we surprised ourselves by feeling nothing after. It was fun and we said, "ok, that was cool." But that is it. And my guy is an emotional kinda Italian guy...but no blips on the radar, no worry about our relationship, just a wink and a smile and "what's next."

Keep talking to each other. Keep asking questions of people who've been here before you. Start slow and see how you feel. You know your relationship is way more important than anything else. :) Mrs. AZ

Mesa AZ
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TOPIC: Was it hard for you to see your spouse or parter with another lover