165
Trending Big : Swingers Discussion 199821
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedTrending Big
TOPIC: Trending Big
Created by: LibidinousLB
Original Starting post for this thread:
So, we've decided to get into the lifestyle. Slowly, to be sure, but everyone is on board. Though we're both 40-ish, we're both quite fit (in both the UK and US senses of the word, we hope). We actually *are* gym rats (3-7x/week+soccer+kayaking+swimming+etc) and at least part of the reason for that is that we like athletic, trim bodies. Physical attraction is a necessary (though not sufficient) condition for the people we'd like to play with. It seems, though, that there is a statistical skew toward big/heavy people in the lifestyle and it's scaring us off a bit. In doing some research on local parties, we came a across a bunch of photos from a social party thrown by one of these local clubs. While we weren't expecting all triathletes and supermodels, there didn't seem to be anyone with a BMI of under 30 at that particular party.

And we should be clear: we have no judgement of bigger people. Some of our best friends are not HWP. But we don't want to fuck them. It's purely an aesthetic preference, like not liking classical music. Neither of us like classical music, but we don't think it's bad. We just don't want to listen to it. Please understand we're not saying anything condemning or putting down our bigger brothers and sisters.

We are working up to going to our first club, but we're a bit afraid that the ratio of HWP to big people might be low, going on the evidence of that one photo album and our frankly unscientific and statistically unsound perusal of this and similar sites. Then Bill Maher's recent comment on his show regarding Stephen Hawking made us think perhaps there's something to that observation (having met Bill, I'm sure that crack came from his personal experience).

So what is your sense? Is this an accurate observation of the qualities of the population that inhabit the lifestyle? Or are we falling prey to the confirmation bias based on having seen lots of big people on the swinger segment on Real Sex when we like 10 years ago? And how do you deal with telling someone they're very nice but you can't play with them because, well, there's rather too much of them? While listening to SwingerCast today, we were discussing maybe being successful in the lifestyle is predicated on trying to relax one's standards of attractiveness. What do you all think?

GoTo Page: 1 ... More 
 1 to 5 of 5 
User Details are only visible to members.
Welcome Lib (and nice seeing you again losamantes).

I agree, do not relax your standards unless you are looking for sheer numbers of partners. If it's quality you want, you are certain to find at least one or two couples you feel you could connect with and pretty much any gathering.

As for how to reject them politely, a simple smile and "No thanks" should be sufficient.

Good luck and have fun!

Poland OH
Username hidden
(11885 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Hey Lib, we feel ya. We have friends in five countries, and they all comment on the size and physical conditioning of "typical" Americans. As you get older you will find it exponentially more challenging to find couples that make it a priority to take care of themselves. In no case should you ever relax your standards. HWP Americans do exist... It just takes time to get plugged into those channels. There are clubs and house parties that cater to all shapes and sizes, especially in your area. Take your time, get some certs, and soon you'll have as much fun as you can handle! BTW, nice profile.

Virginia Beach VA
Username hidden
(313 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I think that depends entirely on the club and/or area. In our experience, the swinging scene is no more or less overweight than the average population. But again... just our experience. Hardly a strong sample.

New Market MD
Username hidden
(196 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
From the HBO web site, episode 239:

"New Rule: Stop acting surprised that Stephen Hawking likes to hang out at a sex club in San Bernardino. True. It was in the news. The guy spends all day solving the mysteries of the universe. Can you blame him if sometimes he just wants to kick back and watch fat guys f**k each other's wives on an air mattress?"

Long Beach CA
Username hidden
(19 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
So, we've decided to get into the lifestyle. Slowly, to be sure, but everyone is on board. Though we're both 40-ish, we're both quite fit (in both the UK and US senses of the word, we hope). We actually *are* gym rats (3-7x/week+soccer+kayaking+swimming+etc) and at least part of the reason for that is that we like athletic, trim bodies. Physical attraction is a necessary (though not sufficient) condition for the people we'd like to play with. It seems, though, that there is a statistical skew toward big/heavy people in the lifestyle and it's scaring us off a bit. In doing some research on local parties, we came a across a bunch of photos from a social party thrown by one of these local clubs. While we weren't expecting all triathletes and supermodels, there didn't seem to be anyone with a BMI of under 30 at that particular party.

And we should be clear: we have no judgement of bigger people. Some of our best friends are not HWP. But we don't want to fuck them. It's purely an aesthetic preference, like not liking classical music. Neither of us like classical music, but we don't think it's bad. We just don't want to listen to it. Please understand we're not saying anything condemning or putting down our bigger brothers and sisters.

We are working up to going to our first club, but we're a bit afraid that the ratio of HWP to big people might be low, going on the evidence of that one photo album and our frankly unscientific and statistically unsound perusal of this and similar sites. Then Bill Maher's recent comment on his show regarding Stephen Hawking made us think perhaps there's something to that observation (having met Bill, I'm sure that crack came from his personal experience).

So what is your sense? Is this an accurate observation of the qualities of the population that inhabit the lifestyle? Or are we falling prey to the confirmation bias based on having seen lots of big people on the swinger segment on Real Sex when we like 10 years ago? And how do you deal with telling someone they're very nice but you can't play with them because, well, there's rather too much of them? While listening to SwingerCast today, we were discussing maybe being successful in the lifestyle is predicated on trying to relax one's standards of attractiveness. What do you all think?

Long Beach CA
Username hidden
(19 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 ... More 
 1 to 5 of 5 
TOPIC: Trending Big